Babies: 0 - 3 Months
RachaelM24
member
Babywise Question
RachaelM24
member
My LO is a little over 6 weeks old and we just started the BW method. I am a very routine person so it was important for me to have my baby on a routine.
Prior to starting BW she was on a 3-4 schedules (didn't wake from naps, so it would go past 3 hrs sometimes). She also ate at 11 and slept until 6 AM. Now starting BW- she is on a 3 hour (sometimes slightly over 3 hours) schedule, and I am following the eat, wake, sleep method. My issue: yesterday was the first FULL day of BW and last night was the first night, and my LO ate at 11 but only slept until 3 AM.
My question: should not have started the BW method since my LO was already sleeping well through the night or will this get better in a few weeks?
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Re: Babywise Question
This, exactly. She's only 6 weeks old, for goodness sake. Cut the baby some slack. And for a 6 week old, a four hour stretch is really good.
Did you actually research Babywise before implementing it? There's alot of controversy surrounding it; it's definitely not something I would use for my LO's. The American Academy of pediatrics actually advises against it.
If you're such a routine person, you should have probably thought twice about having kids. Little ones tend to have their own schedules
I've seen BW work on many babies so I am absolutely not against it and I've babies on routines at 4 weeks so I know it isn't possible.
If you're such a routine person, you should have probably thought twice about having kids. Little ones tend to have their own schedules
It's not impossible and being routine doesn't mean I shouldn't have kids. If you don't have the answers to the questions I am looking for, why comment on this board? No need to contradict my parenting just because it is different than yours.
babywise is not wise. Pun intended. If you bf, iy can ruin your supply. Also, do you get hungry before 3 hours sometimes? I know I do...you are also implementing it right around a major growth spurt which can account for the sleep change. Newborns having routines. That's hilarious.
eta: don't confuse routine with pattern. The only routine is that their patterns change constantly.
I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!
I did answer your question - you shouldn't have implemented Babywise and even the American Academy of Pediatrics backs this up. Look at the research on attachment issues and possible failure to thrive using Babywise. But hey, you're right, it's your kid, do what you want
But Babywise is not recommended by the AAP. It can be dangerous. Why do women have this desire to set a rigid schedule/routine for their LOs? We should be working around their schedules, not the other way around.
This is the question you posted on an internet board: My question: should not have started the BW method since my LO was already sleeping well through the night or will this get better in a few weeks?
We gave you answers - you should not do Babywise. There is medical literature against Babywise. If you do not like getting answers to questions you post, then perhaps you should ask your wise friends who have experience with this so they can give you puppy and rainbow answers and blow smoke about how awesome it is. And I'm really laughing that you've "seen it work" in the whole day you've been using it, since as you wrote, yesterday was the first full day. Seriously.
Going off of the 4 posts you have had here, I would say that you have not lurked on this board at all. This is a public forum and you asked for people's opinions. Don't get butthurt because you didn't get the answers you were looking for.
"My question: should not have started the BW method since my LO was already sleeping well through the night or will this get better in a few weeks? "
To answer your question, I would have let your LO set the pace and routine. I let DS eat when he's hungry and sleep when he's tired, and I still have a somewhat predictable pattern with him. With newborns, I find that it is pointless to try to implement a routine. Things change constantly with them, and it easier to go with the flow instead of trying to force them into a routine.
In all honesty, you should talk to your pediatrician about doing stuff like this instead of going off of what your friends and other people tell you. And if you insist on doing something like this, at least see what experts like the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends.
Am I super mom? No - but I like the way you think. Do I have all the answers?Absolutely not, but when I do, I generally go to reputable resources like the AAP or other medical/professional organizations and follow their guidelines, because they are medically sound and proven. The fact that Babywise was advised against by the AAP and other medical organizations is enough to give me pause about using it on my child. I'm a social worker and family therapist who has post Master's Degree training in working with children and families and have been in the field for over 15 years. I've done a lot of reading on child development and attachment. Further research into Babywise has shown that it can be linked failure to thrive and attachment issues. Have you really looked into it? Did you know that the author of Babywise has absolutely ZERO medical or child development training? He's just some religious guy who wrote a book with no real credentials. Did you know that the church he went to, that first supported Babywise, denounced him? That the original publisher of the book refused to stop making it, because of all of the issues that arose for babies with parents trying to implement it?
It's not like we have different parenting styles - breast versus formula, cloth versus disposables. You're talking about using a parenting method that proven to be downright dangerous. If you want to decide to do that, go ahead.
Ok first- everyone relax! Clearly some of the post are being very negative towards Racheal's parenting decisions. She is looking for opinions not judgements.
To answer the question- I am not super familiar with babywise, but I am a very schedule oriented person. And I have 2 children and am a great Mom, so no worries about not having children just because you like a schedule! A schedule can actually help you be a better Mom because you know what to expect and when! It also prevents your children from getting overtired or having unexpected situations. Resulting in my 2y/o being a well behaved adaptive child...for the most part, that uses his manners and is well loved.
On the flip- my DS#1 set his own schedule that we have adapted to. Both DS #1 & #2 slept 4-5 hours a night until about 8 weeks and then longer. Both are ready for bed by 8 p.m.- this includes the 6 week old. And both sleep until about 7:30- with DS#2 waiking up for 2 feedings in the 11.5 hours. Just being flexible with there needs will result in a delveoping schedule, that will change as your child grows and matures!
Best of luck!!!
It is an online forum. What do you think happens here?
Seriously, you posted a question online, didn't like the answers you got, and got all butthurt and defensive. Step off.
Personally, I think you can have a pattern and attempt to plan your day around it. I don't feed DD before the 3 hour mark but that's because I've noticed that the whole smaller but more often feedings makes her reflux WORSE, causing her to choke because her stomach never empties to she constantly refluxes into her throat.
I also EFF, so a schedule is easier for me
So I do tend to follow an eat, activity/play then when I get fussy cues, she does into the sling until her next feeding time
Thank you! Exactly what I was looking for - stories of moms who are doing something similar!
You really can't dictate who gets to respond to your post on a public forum.
That said, I don't have issues with Babywise. I think some of the ideas are good, but no one should ever deny food to a hungry baby because they think a book says to. We follow the eat, play, sleep pattern. I only read the book because DD1 never slept and I was so confused. It did help me put order to my days. I also feed when baby is hungry, so there's that. Anywho, I don't think I would have implemented any new routine/schedule/pattern if baby had already settled into a good eating and sleeping pattern.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013
I also follow an eat, play, sleep cycle and pretty much have for all 10 weeks now. However, I do not have set times or schedules- i pretty much follow my LO's lead.
After DD eats I set an alarm for 2 hours- somewhere within that two hours she plays and then once I see sleep cues, she goes down for a nap. Sometimes she is tired so she sleeps right away and doesn't play, other times she is hungry before the two hours so I feed her. If she sleeps longer than the two-hour mark, i let her sleep. if she waks early and wants to eat, I feed her then start the cycle again. So even though there is a routine, I still go off of DDs lead. (The two hours came from DDs natural schedule- I EBF and this was the natural time pattern we fell into- so she goes about 2.5-3hrs between feedings).
At night we do our bedtime routine and DD goes down for the night. I do not wake her in the MOTN.
I'm not the kind of person to make LO wait just because the clock isn't at the right time. So I follow this cycle, but am not afraid to adjust based on her needs.
Babywise isn't all bad. I think there are a lot of misconceptions out there about it. I've read the book, and NEVER does he say you should deny a hungry baby food. He actually says the opposite- that hunger always comes before the clock. So if it's not "time" for the baby to eat, and the baby is clearly hungry, obviously feed the baby. I think that anyone whose baby has failure to thrive and blames it on Babywise has pretty bad reading comprehension skills (not to mention a lack of common sense). The main points I got from the eat-wake-sleep pattern was to avoid a nursing-to-sleep habit, and that the baby crying doesn't always mean they want/need to eat.
OP, the eat-wake-sleep pattern was a lifesaver for us in the early days. DD is almost 3.5 months old now and I don't follow it as religiously as before, but we mostly still do follow it. Our days are much more predictable with this pattern. She is mostly a great sleeper, eats 7 times a day, has plenty of wet diapers and is gaining weight. Maybe it was a fluke that your LO woke up when you started BW; maybe it did have something to do with changing the pattern. Who knows. If you want to, keep trying it for a few more days and see what happens.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
Um, mom and dad ARE in control of baby's life and food. Whatever extreme you follow, whether it's AP or Babywise, you have control over when and how your baby eats. I guess I think that I have enough common sense to realize what seems "wrong" to me. Someone gave me Babywise to borrow and read for free so that's the only reason I read that as opposed to Baby Whisperer. There isn't only one right way to parent. I have never knowingly denied my baby food and I do follow her cues more than anything. But thanks for your concern.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
This. We did BW with a few adjustments. It worked for us. It will get better. The fact that your LO had a bad night doesn't mean that he'll have a bad night every night. We never had to do CIO and LO was sleeping almost through the entire night by 3 1/2 months (slept 8pm-4am and then from 4:30-7am) and completely sleeping through the night (8pm-7am) by 5 months.
It was a life saver. I felt like I was hanging on by a thread when he was 9 weeks so I read the book and we implemented it at 10 weeks. It took a couple of weeks to get it down as I tried to follow his patterns of eating/sleeping rather than mine. It worked like a charm. Now we have no napping or night issues at all. He is a very happy baby and we are happy parents that get to sleep at night.
Just give it time. One night does not really give you a good picture of whether the method will work for your LO or not. Like I stated previously, it took us a couple of weeks to get it well implemented. GL!
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Not quoting because it's getting too long, but AmyG: my point wasn't that parents should dictate their babies' lives and not give them what they need. My point was that ultimately, even if you do follow baby-directed feeding, you as the parent still control when they eat. They can't eat without us giving them food, so essentially every feeding is parent-directed feeding.
I am not suggesting that parents set a schedule and follow it regardless of the baby's hunger cues. That would be idiotic (and Babywise doesn't suggest that either). I simply think that the premise of the eat-wake-sleep pattern makes a lot of sense. It avoids the nurse-to-sleep association and avoids giving the baby the boob every time he or she cries, regardless of whether or not the baby is actually hungry. Also, doing that pattern often helps the baby set their own predictable schedule for feeding. At least it did for mine.
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
haha this.