2nd Trimester

correct me if i'm wrong.

so idk if anyone read any of my other post about my family problem, but

my mom left to ohio awhile ago and she didnt tell anyone and like all her bills are still getting sent and she has tons of bills and owes lots of places

 well if you move arent you supposed to notify someone that you're moving and she moved out of state. NC to OHIO. 

because when i moved to a different city my insurance lady told me that I HAVE TO TELL THEM IF I ever move or get married or get a job etc. and my mom did none of that and she just UP AND LEFT...

 well my dad is still getting mail at the house and wanted me to get my mom's address and i did and i told her why i needed her address and she got pissed off at me saying that i'm listening to my dad and that he's stupid and was just yelling alllll over the place when i was talking so darn calm! and i couldnt help but yell back and say that's what you're supposed to do when you fu**ing move. then hung up. cause if i stayed on the phone any longer i wouldve started crying and sounded ugly. LOL!

i have so much resentment towards my mom but i'm trying not to...

and i found out that the reason she left my dad was because she THOUGHT! she could leave and get half of everything from my dad ! but my mom not that smart didnt know the law in NC is that you have to be married to get half of everything. so now she's left with nothing and a bum as a new boyfriend. (not even a year that she's been gone)

my parents arent legally married and she thought she could get half of everything but what more does she want because when she left she took my dad's daughter and didnt even ask if she could take her or talk to him about it etc. 

but he doesnt wanna cause trouble or bring her to court. and all she does is call my dad and ask for money. but she says her new bf has everything and helps her with everything and i know her new bf and he's a bum and a druggie...

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Re: correct me if i'm wrong.

  • I would stay as far away from that mess as I could. Your dad is an adult. He can call your mom or return her mail for her.
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  • Technically, yes of course you're supposed to let your creditors know how to reach you but she clearly doesn't care that her credit is going down the toilet because if she's not getting the bills she's not likely paying the bills.  It sounds like your mom and dad, though not married, lived together.  In time they will start calling the number they have for her and eventually they'll probably find you as well.  You and your dad can provide her contact information if you have it and if you don't you are within your right to tell them that she doesn't live with you, you do NOT have her information and that they are to stop bothering you.  Sadly, I've had experience with this.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • imageelmoali:
    Technically, yes of course you're supposed to let your creditors know how to reach you but she clearly doesn't care that her credit is going down the toilet because if she's not getting the bills she's not likely paying the bills.  It sounds like your mom and dad, though not married, lived together.  In time they will start calling the number they have for her and eventually they'll probably find you as well.  You and your dad can provide her contact information if you have it and if you don't you are within your right to tell them that she doesn't live with you, you do NOT have her information and that they are to stop bothering you.  Sadly, I've had experience with this.

     

    RIGHT and my dad has tried to contact my mom but she's always drunk and yelling at him for no reason or she doesnt pick up his phone call. my sister tried to do the same and she wouldnt give it to her and so this time i tried and i called a little early to catch her before she's drunk and her credit is already down the drain! she got credit cards behind my dad's back and couldnt pay it and had to go to court for all that mess.

     

    my parents arent married legally and she thought since they've been together for years she could still get half of everything. well what else does she want?!

    she already took his kid up to ohio and didnt even talk about it to my dad.

     

    he doesn't wanna cause trouble. he doesnt wanna take her to court. i just feel so bad for my dad...

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  • Normally yes, you would have to notify the people you owe money to that you are changing your address.


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  • imagePrimRoseMama:
    Normally yes, you would have to notify the people you owe money to that you are changing your address.

     

    i tried telling her that and she just yelled at me. saying that i need to stop listening to my dad. 

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  • imagemabenner1:
    I would stay as far away from that mess as I could. Your dad is an adult. He can call your mom or return her mail for her.

    This.  It's really none of your business.  

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  • VVT3111VVT3111 member
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.
  • imageVVT3111:
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.

    You and your dad need to step back and let her keep digging herself into a bigger mess.  Since they aren't married he's not liable for any of the money she owes so to try and get her to "see the light" and pay her bills is of no benefit to either of you since she seems so hostile.   

    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • imageveronicavpling:

    imagePrimRoseMama:
    Normally yes, you would have to notify the people you owe money to that you are changing your address.

     

    i tried telling her that and she just yelled at me. saying that i need to stop listening to my dad. 

    Well let her sit and spin then. I would remove yourself from that line of communication. Your mom needs help, but its not your job to provide it. You've got bigger fish to fry right now. Honestly, this is drama that should be sorted out between your folks. They shouldn't bring you into it all.


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  • imageVVT3111:
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.

    Why did you use a different SN?


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  • imagePrimRoseMama:

    imageVVT3111:
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.

    Why did you use a different SN?

     

    i wanted to make a new one with a different SN cause this one has my full name and i made the new one on my phone. 

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  • imageelmoali:

    imageVVT3111:
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.

    You and your dad need to step back and let her keep digging herself into a bigger mess.  Since they aren't married he's not liable for any of the money she owes so to try and get her to "see the light" and pay her bills is of no benefit to either of you since she seems so hostile.   

     

    that's trueee. yeah. i will tell him that. but i think he said something about she's going to give him bad credit too, but i'm not sure what he's talking about. 

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  • imagePrimRoseMama:
    imageveronicavpling:

    imagePrimRoseMama:
    Normally yes, you would have to notify the people you owe money to that you are changing your address.

     

    i tried telling her that and she just yelled at me. saying that i need to stop listening to my dad. 

    Well let her sit and spin then. I would remove yourself from that line of communication. Your mom needs help, but its not your job to provide it. You've got bigger fish to fry right now. Honestly, this is drama that should be sorted out between your folks. They shouldn't bring you into it all.

    Exactly. 



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  • Well my first question is it their child together? If so, I believe she can take the child without notice if not its a whole different legal issue.

    Other than that, stay out of it. They are adults and need to figure all of this out for themselves.

  • imageveronicavpling:
    imageelmoali:

    imageVVT3111:
    Well I didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask MY MOM for her new address. But right. Oh well my mom put her self in that crap.

    You and your dad need to step back and let her keep digging herself into a bigger mess.  Since they aren't married he's not liable for any of the money she owes so to try and get her to "see the light" and pay her bills is of no benefit to either of you since she seems so hostile.   

     

    that's trueee. yeah. i will tell him that. but i think he said something about she's going to give him bad credit too, but i'm not sure what he's talking about. 

    She very easily can ruin his credit IF he signed for any of her debts with her (making it joint debt) and if she isn't paying.  i.e.: If they signed up for a credit card together or a utility company or a car loan, but she was supposed to make payments, but now isn't.  Then it's on his credit report too.

    Your dad should order his own credit report.

    If there are bills on there that he did not sign for, but she signed him up for them, he needs to contact that company, ask them for proof that he signed.  If he really didn't, then that's identity theft and he will probably have to file a police report and sue for his name to be taken off.  It will be a mess.  Or he can suck it up, pay the bill off and close the accounts.

    He should return all mail to the sender if he isn't also on the account.

    Your mom is a mess.  I'd totally step back. 

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