A friend of mine has been struggle with IF for a couple years now. Right after I found out I was pregnant she was doing an IVF cycle. I was praying it would take so I waited to tell her we are pregnant. Well it didn't take and I am 8 wks along now. How do I tell her. I just don't want her to feel bad but I also don't want her to feel bad that I am hiding it from her. I think she may be doing another cycle of IVF in the next month so do I just wait and see?
Re: How would you do this?
If you were in that situation, what would you want?
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This is kind of what I was planning on doing but I don't even know what or how to say it?
This, exactly.... I too appreciated hearing via e-mail so I could respond when I felt emotionally up to it. My friends and family all knew my struggles and this is how they let me know about their pregnancies. I would have hated to have read it on facebook or hear it through the grapevine.
TTC summer 2008
Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
Mental health break for 10 months
IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
7 fertilized transferred 3
Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
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I'd keep it simple. Just say you are pregnant.
I had a similar situation with one of my BFF's. Their first IVF cycle took but I chose to tell her via email so that she could process in her own time and not feel obligated to "put on a happy face" for me. I knew she and her H would be happy for us but that it may take some time.
She knew about my ectopic loss so had some inkling that we were trying again.
TTC #3: BFP 4/27/12, Ectopic 5/16/12 Expectant Management, 8/15/12 Cleared to TTC
BFP 9/25/12 EDD 6/6/13, Shooting 3-for-3 from the line: It's a Girl
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+1 (minus the struggling wit IF)
My GF and I have been going through fertility treatments together for a year. She has had way more struggles than me (including surgeries) and I have been blessed, twice, with pregnancy. Her last round of treatments failed. I've been living your scenario.
I would sit down (now) and tell her how much she means to you and that you are by her side every step of her journey, but you need to be honest with her and then I would just tell her. She'll probably be bummed, but not selfishly, but you can both be supportive of the other. Good luck Tigger, this is a hard one! ((HUGS))
me:40; DH:41; 4/30/12 1st visit with RE; 6/30/12 IUI #1 BFN; 7/19/12 IUI cancelled (overmedicated); 8/2/12 IUI cancelled (cyst); 9/1/12 IUI #2 BFP! EDD 5/28/13; 10/9/12 1st U/S at 7w3d--missed m/c (trisomy 16) D&C 10/19/12; karyotyping results normal!; 1/31/13 IUI #3 BFP! EDD 10/25/13
All of this.
Although if you do it via email, make sure you tell her why you chose to do it that way, so she won't think you're just being impersonal.
Maybe I'm the odd one out, but I always preferred a phone call. But that may be because I'm good at hiding my emotions in my voice but not in my face.
Good luck!
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DH (Adam
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