I Hate This
mork
member
Limbo sucks arse. For ten days I've basically been in the mindset that I'm not pg. Not even that I'm pg but the baby isn't growing, just flat out not pg. I still avoid my pg nonos, but that's it. I'm so mad I can't at least enjoy the time I have with this LO. It's like I'm ignoring that this little baby inside me exists. It sucks and I hate it.
I'm tired of being mad when I get symptoms. I don't seem them as hopeful, I see them as annoying. Every time I feel m/s or constipated I literally get mad at my body and ask why it's flucking with me and giving me these symptoms if there's no baby growing in there.
I wish it could be different, but I think losing 5 babies has turned my heart, or at least the wall around it, to stone. Oh yea, and I actually walk around thinking and saying to DH that we've lost 6 babies already. My heart isn't even giving this baby a chance, and that sucks hard core.
Screw you universe.
Re: I Hate This
huge squishy hugs
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
This is so heartbreaking to read. Huge ((hugs)) mork.
I hope this limbo period passes quickly for you. I'll keep you in my T&P for some good news this time.
BFP #1 11/18/11 - m/c 12/24/11 blighted ovum - EDD 08/01/12
BFP #2 08/04/12 - m/c 08/29/12 no answers - EDD 04/17/13
BFP #3 10/01/12 - m/c 10/30/12 uniparental disomy - EDD 06/04/13
BFP #4 04/12/13 - EDD 12/22/13 It's a GIRL!
compound heterozygous MTHFR - All AL Welcome
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
My Blog: The Canadian Housewife PGAL/PAL Welcome My Chart
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!!
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
Lurking...
Hugs, Mork. I'm keeping my FX that Cub surprises you like ToT did.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Ticker/Siggy Warning: Children and losses mentioned
TTC #1 since 7/2011
ME: 37 DH: 38
SA-12/28/11-normal
HSG-1/16/12-possible blocked left tube
BFP#1---CP 7/9/12
Hysteroscopy-8/9/12-blocked left tube for sure, proceeding with IUI#1
IUI#1 (Gonal-F + trigger)=BFP#2 m/c @ 19w1d D&E 1/23/13
IUI #2 (Gonal F + trigger)=BFP#3 EDD 1/6/14 TWINS!!!
Identical girls born 11/17/13
BFP#4 EDD 8/27/15 MMC at 7w6d
BFP#5 m/c at 6w
BFP#6 EDD 10/5/16 Going Strong! It's a Girl!
TTC since August 2011
BFP#1 3/16/12 EDD 11/21/12 Delivered 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together... Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." ~ Winnie the Pooh
BFP#2 4/14/13 EDD 12/24/13 Please be our rainbow after the storm!
Beta#1 @ 15dpo 274, P4 16.9 Beta#2 @ 18dpo 940!! Doubling time of 40 hours!! u/s @ 6w2d showed a beautiful HB of 120! u/s @ 10w1d HB 174!! Grow, LO Grow!! Found out 7/22 we are TEAM BLUE!!
Zaiden Harper was born 12/22/13 at 1:46 am. 9lbs 8oz and 22in
~*~AL Always Welcome~*~
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
I actually had the option of going in this week, but chose to wait for Monday. Our reasoning was that we really need to know if this kid's heart is going to start beating. By the measurements last time, consistant growth would put us at 6w4d on Monday, and we should see a heartbeat. So we'll know, one way or another. It felt like a better choice than searching for growth this week but knowing we were still in limbo for another week waiting on the heartbeat. In a way, I think we were just trying to avoid multiple more bad u/s.
TTC Since Summer 2011
BFP #1 11/5/11 EDD 7/22/12 MC 11/14/11
PGAL/PAL Always Welcome
I'm sorry you are going through this, but I am praying that you have a good outcome and haven't lost your baby.
MMC 01/26/12
MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13
BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!
DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
MC @ 13wks 01/15/15
BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18
BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13
Me Dx: DOR DH: all tests normal
Our Pretty Little Nest Blog
That's hard and sucks!!! But try to be nice to your self. I think I would feel the same way. ((Hugs))
and if it makes you feel not alone, I don't think this baby I'm growing is going to come home either.
TTC #1 since 5/2010 dx: annovulatory
RLP: 2/2012: normal HSG 3/2012: normal
BFP #1 7/20/11 M/C 7/25/11. BFP #2 11/29/11 M/C 12/21/11
I have two angel babies that I will see again one day
BFP #3 10/27/12 EDD: 7/6/13
Baby Emma arrived at 35 weeks by surprise on June 3rd, 2013!!
BFP #4: 5/23/14 EDD: 1/30/15 Emma's gonna be a big sister!
Beta #1 19DPO: 213 Beta #2 21DPO: 674
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
((hugs))
I am feeling the same and it sucks because DH is still so optimistic.
When is your follow up?
My Life
BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.
“So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire