Repost for Where to begin.

QuigleyCat1 · April 2013

I hope you all don't mind me reposting this. It's only meant so that each and every one of you will receive my thanks and gratitude. My original post of Where to Begin has gotten lost in the sea of Quigley posts that have been going strong since yesterday at 7:00pm. I cannot even start to tell you all how much each and every single word means to me and my husband. He's absolutely astounded at the thoughtfulness! I told him that I was still receiving posts as of this afternoon and he couldn't believe it. We thank you so very much once again.

-->

Thank you will NEVER be enough. It's so hard to comprehend everything that you all did for me and my family tonight. DH knows about my participation on The Bump boards but never knew the extent until tonight when I showed him what you all have done for us. He was in absolute awe and so very grateful. The tears in his eyes were reflective of all your lit candles and kind words and prayers. Many of your DH/ SO also said such lovely things which just goes to show that, while in a bit of a different way, they feel this pain too.

I will be writing many of your words, poems and prayers into my journal that I've kept since learning of this pregnancy. Each and every single post was read and appreciated beyond explanation. Truly amazed by you women. Completely.

The remainder of my last day with Liam:

After three hours of meds for dilation I was called back. The nurse began an IV and roughly a half hour later I was taken to the procedure room. I was given IV sedation (twilight) and was very quickly "not aware". I felt no pain and remember absolutely nothing during the procedure. Thank goodness. I just remember before going under that I said hello to the doctor and that I wish I didn't have to let him go because we love him so very much. Then I looked at the nurse and said, "His name is Liam". That's the last thing I remember before waking up in recovery. I did get sick one time but it wasn't bad. Ive had pretty minimal bleeding so far. I slept for awhile there, although I have no idea how long. I got Liam's tiny little footprints and hand prints...they are perfect.

*sensitive*

I did go to see him. I told them that I'd like to see his little hands and feet if possible. I believe that someone prepared him for that. When I walked in I saw a glass dish with a tiny paper towel. I could see his hands and feet where they would be. And although I never touched the paper towel, I knew there was nothing else below it. And that is ok. I knew that would most likely be the case. But those hands and feet were so beautiful. I first touched his feet so tiny and frail but I know he is strong now. Then I touched his tiny little hands and fingers...hands and fingers that will always hold a piece of my heart. I will never regret the decision to see him, ever. I said some things to him that I hope he could hear from Heaven. DH was very worried about me seeing Liam. I reassured him its what I needed and he understood, just as I understood his decision not to view him. I will never question him as that was his decision to only picture Liam in his mind. I think that is just as beautiful. Later at home DH wanted to see the hand and footprints and was in awe and in love. We will always treasure them. I hope to someday soon use them to have imprinted onto a piece of jewelry.

This may be my last post just for a bit. I don't think it's all really hit me yet and I'm sure the next few days at the least will be tough. I know I'll be back just not quite sure when, and when I do most of my time will be spent on PAL and TTCAL. Although there's a very high chance that we will no longer be trying I think we need to give ourselves some time before closing that door completely.

Please accept my thanks and love for all that you've done for me, DH, DS and our angel...Liam.

ravenclaw1 · April 2013

Hope you're feeling ok today, quig. Happy we could offer even a little support to your family.

raashton · April 2013

Much love, Quigley. Hugs and love

delino · April 2013

Continuing to send you love, thoughts and prayers.

misternmiss · April 2013

Sending you so much love, thoughts and prayers, Quig.

cnlmdl · April 2013

Keeping you and your family in my heart

RedCherry1109 · April 2013

You and your family are still in my prayers! (((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))

panacea05 · April 2013

You are such an amazing person, Quigley. As tears stream down my face, I'm praying you somehow find peace in the coming days?and I'll continue to do so. So much love for you, your husband, your son, and sweet Liam.

SciChick · April 2013

Continued thoughts, prayers, and love sent to you and your family. ((((hugs))))

Gregermis · April 2013

There just aren't words sweetie. Sending ((hugs)) and T&Ps just doesn't seem enough. You are an amazing woman, and Liam is so lucky to have you as his mother.

purpleflower · April 2013

Sending you lots of prayers and ((hugs)) to you and your family! You are an incredibly strong woman and amazing mother. I know liam is lucky to have such wonderful mother!

AnjaO · April 2013

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

April! · April 2013

Thank you for sharing Liam with us, Quigley. You and your precious family will be in my thoughts.

Littlar · April 2013

(((Hugs))) You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wanted to share with you one of my favorite quotes. Hopefully it will bring you some comfort as it has for me in sad times.

" Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean we''ll miss you until we meet again" - Author Unknown