Babies: 0 - 3 Months
The things that come from husbands mouths...
There are two things that my husband says that are aggravating to say the least. My sister, who also has an infant tells me that her husband says the exact same things, so I'm wondering how common they are. Here goes:
1. When baby is screaming in your face (and maybe has been for an extended period of time), husband asks, "What's wrong with him/her? IF I KNEW......
2. When baby is crying and husband has him/her and cannot get the crying to stop, husband determines that baby must be hungry, which the breast feeding mom must then take responsibility for.
Any others? I write this post in a somewhat comical manner, but am somewhat venting as well. 
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Re: The things that come from husbands mouths...
I love my husband but lately it is just been him worried if I am okay (down below), at the same time acting like a poor lost pitiful puppy dog when he knows he isn't getting anything. We were used to having sex daily until our son was born, so going from that to only having sex twice in three weeks is making him mope around. Kinda annoying
3 days overdue with ds I was sitting on the bedroom floor crying because I had just started getting stretch marks on my belly...DH came in and asked what was wrong, when I told him why I was upset he says "Oh, I have stretch marks too, no big deal" (very FADED ones from 20 years ago when he was a runner, on his legs..NOT his belly) That was the most infuriating thing he has ever said to me, and also the TV remote hasn't worked since that day lol
Holy crap. Good for you! My poor DH only gets it maybe once a week and not at all since like 10 months ago (lots of pregnancy issues and still sore now!) Your DH definitely isn't deprived!
As for the original post: I get the crying "hungry" baby a lot too. Mostly mine seems incapable of noticing and cleaning up messes, which annoys me.
The biggest thing DH says that drives me up the wall is "you go to work and I'll stay home" after I tell him about my rough day. He thinks I should be all happy and cheerful when he gets home but that's just not reality sometimes. We argued about it several times until I broke down crying and told him how I felt. I guess he got the hint because he hasn't said that since.
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216 Beta #2: 823
Baby Boy born 7/10/2015
It was the middle of the night, I was in the middle of a diaper change with LO, he's screaming his head off and I'm in the engorgement phase of breastfeeding as my milk came in. I'm topless as I'm changing baby and both breasts are leaking like crazy from the baby crying. DH wakes up long enough to roll over and say to me, "You shouldn't let him cry like that." I was speechless.
Before I had LO, I had boobs. Now all of a sudden, they are "tits." I hate that word, to me it sounds low class.
Yet DH insisted on goading on LO while he was BFing, saying things like "yeah buddy, suck that tittie, show that tittie who's boss" or "drink that tittie milk son."
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I told him he could call by breasts boobs or chee-chees, but any variation of the word tit was off limits.
I also consistently hear "I think he's hungry" EVERY TIME baby cries, since we're EBF. Apparently boobs are a panacea.
My pet peeve is my DH likes to verbalize when he "relieves" me of LO. Like on the weekends when he "lets" me sleep in or "lets" me get a couple hours sleep here and ther. When he comes home in the evening he likes to say "give me the baby so you can go do blah blah blah" and he will actually list out things he thinks I should do with my "baby free" time.
I had to pump the brakes on this behavior a couple of times and let him know that this "relief" is time he should want to spend with HIS son because it's not just my baby. And I also had to tell him NOT to tell me what to do with my free time. If I want to shower, run an errand, surf the net...whatever. Let me at least control my free time since I'm "controlled" by LO all day. Gotta love him. ;-)
mine said the exact same thing to me this past week...