Stay at Home Moms

It's OK

Lately I've been irritated with the way my H is handling the "I'm Sorry's" in our house.

Scenario:

Kids like to play Power Rangers and Ds2 hits Ds1 on the head with a drum stick.  Ds1 is bigger (8) but clearly in pain and crying.  Ds 2 (2.5) thinks it's funny.

Dh's response:

Dh: "Hey boys!  We don't hit!"
(Hugs Ds1)

Ds2, do we hit?  ... No, we don't hit our brother.  What do you say?

Ds2: Sowry

Dh: Give Ds1 a hug.

(reluctant hug)

Now Ds1 tell Ds2 "It's Ok"

Ds1 (still upset and sad) It's ok.

 

Maybe because it's my training in that campus daycare (where the teachers modeled the Thank yous, Pleases, I'm sorry's etc and were not allowed to "make" the child say them) , but it grates on my nerves that Dh tells the "victim" to say It's OK, when it clearly is not OK and Ds1 is still upset. 

Figuring out an appropriate response is slightly awkward though.  Does "Thank you" work instead? 

So what do you make your kids say to the person that hurt them if the child says "I'm sorry"?  

 

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SAHM to 4 kiddos... K (5/05), N (4/09), C (11/10) and Baby A 1/13/14












Re: It's OK

  • I don't make the. Say anything, but because we have modeled it the both say "I forgive you"

     

  • Yeah, I guess I don't really make anyone say anything either, when I am the one to handle it.  I model the "I'm sorry" too, as in "Ds1, I am so sorry that Ds2 hit you. It must really hurt."  I typically ask if the person doing the hurting would
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    SAHM to 4 kiddos... K (5/05), N (4/09), C (11/10) and Baby A 1/13/14












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  • I don't make DS say anything. If another kid says I'm sorry I just let DS respond however he feels. 

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  • My kid is tooyoung for this, but at school, if the "victim" didn't say anything after the apology then I would say something like, "Okay, L, just make a better choice next time. Let's give T some space right now." And go play somewhere else.
  • I don't make my kids say sorry or hug if they hurt each other.  I tell them what they did hurt their brother and that they need to think of some things that will help make their brother feel better.  Sometimes they'll bring a favorite toy or

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  • DD has always had to say thank you for saying you're sorry. She does have to apologize to people when she does something wrong. 
  • I make them say sorry, but they don't have to hug and don't have to respond when someone says "I'm sorry" to them
    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • imageKateMW:
    DD has always had to say thank you for saying you're sorry. She does have to apologize to people when she does something wr
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  • imageariel06:

    I don't make my kids say sorry or hug if they hurt each other.  I tell them what they did hurt their brother and

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • imagenosoup4u:
    imageariel06:</st
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    SAHM to 4 kiddos... K (5/05), N (4/09), C (11/10) and Baby A 1/13/14












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