It has been forever since I've posted, but here it is
My older sister lives 4 blocks away, her daughter is 2 (mine are 3 & 5). Sometimes they all play well, sometimes it is chaos. She asks lots of favors, like will you watch her while I get some errands done, etc. No big deal, I tend not to, bc I am perfectly able to take my kids and get stuff done. She parents differently, and her child is different. My sis also doesn't really enforce any real rules or boundaries, and there is no night time pattern sometimes my niece is but to 10 or 11, sometimes she is put to bed at 7 and screams for an hour. It drives my dh crazy, particularly since her daughter who tends to be a whiner/cry about everything and pitches fits etc (she's two, I know you are shocked).
So sis asks if I can watch her while she goes away, just for one night, her hubs will get her when he comes home, etc etc etc. Her best friend is getting married she needs to go to key west for the bachelorette party. I say fine, but my dh's birthday is X and I don't want to do it that day. No, of course not, it is two days later, and she would never ask that. I have it written down, and circled so that I don't forget.
But here, a month after I have agreed, and talked it out with hubs (who was less than thrilled), guess what day it turns out to be, yep, dh's birthday. I don't know what to do.
Re: Sigh, I'm not sure what to do
I would apologize, but tell her that due to it being on your husband's birthday, you won't be able to watch her for the night. A bachelorette party is something, IMO, she could easily miss. It's not as if it's an actual wedding or she was in the hospit
If she told you the wrong date, it's her problem and you can cancel on her. You did tell her that you would not be available to babysit on your H's bday. If the mistake about the date was yours, you have to apologize to your H and watch you
SIL wants to party. DH is not thrilled about taking her. You are trying to be peacekeeper because YOU are the one that deals with her most. You are the one stuck here.
Frankly, like a pp mentioned, as an adult bday, we are grown
It sounds like you already do a lot for her, so you shouldn't feel guilty telling her no. You made it very clear it couldn't be on a certain date. It isn't your fault it ended up falling on that date.
If she really w