MIL sit down - WWYD?
ASullivan1231
member
Hi! I posted last Tuesday about issues with my MIL, you may remember (I don't expect you to!). I had called to apologize about a misunderstanding between the two of us, and she basically blasted me for everything she thought I'd done wrong over the last 5 years. (You may remember she said I caused her rheumatoid arthritis because she didn't sit in the front row at our son's Christening and this stressed her out. This is what I'm dealing with.)
I feel like an idiot, but it was a complete surprise to me she felt this way. She's odd, we aren't close, but (I thought) we always got along cordially ... obviously not.
Since MIL and I had that "conversation" my H and I have not talked to her. MIL has made no contact, and H & I needed some time to cool off. Finally my husband called his Dad on Saturday and said that the four of need to get together and figure this out. Especially because H & I are supposed to host Easter at our house for them on Sunday. We are meeting tonight.
Long story short - we don't know how she's going to approach tonight. I want us to have a nice, cordial relationship for my LO and my husband. Working this out is my first priority. That being said, I will not listen to her rip me apart again. I've already apologized many times for an incident that was a simple misunderstanding.
FWIW, my H is completely supportive of me - if anything I'm afraid he's going to start yelling quickly tonight, and that will make it worse.
How do I approach it if she's still "on the attack" tonight without coming off like a doormat or a witch? Any advice or experience appreciated. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
Re: MIL sit down - WWYD?
It might be wise to set a boundary before you even start the discussion. For example, say "MIL, the other day it seemed you had a lot of grievances with me that I was completely unaware of and I want to be able to get them out in the air so you feel li
Bring cookies. :-)
This is tough and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Are you meeting tonight to hang out casually or specifically to try to deal with the situation at hand? Would FIL act as a moderator since your H seems to get work
Ugh, tough situation, so sorry!
I feel like the best way to deal with these types of people is try to remain calm and be the rational one. This works for two reasons: one because it can diffuse the situations, second becau
I agree with setting boundaries but rather than saying "if you attack us..." maybe say "We agree not to attack you and would like you to do the same. We won't call names or yell and would like you to refrain from doing this as well." Just make it clear
Well I wouldn't tolerate any bashing, name calling or yelling. Let your husband tell her that she is not to disrespect his wife and mother of his child. You both want nothing more than to have a happy and healthy relationship, but
All of this advice is awesome - thank you!
My son and I just met MH for lunch so I had a chance to talk with him. I asked that we both remain calm, not yell, not name call or bring up past grievances (of which I have many! ha). No mat
I'm "seeing" a lot of fire and gasoline here... Polarity responses are what they're referred to in the therapeutic world when it comes to the MIL. What might be best is a "pace and lead" type response, match her tone/volume/language, take a