Thanks for the shout outs. I heard about it off board and I appreciate it. It's been the worst month of my life unfortunately. My beta just continued to rise stupidly and we could not see anything on u/s. I started to bleed on a Tuesday and asked that we wait a few more days for the beta to drop as I really did not want MTX. As stupid as it sounds, I did not want to prevent for 3months post-shot so it was important to me to not get it if we were just guessing. My beta finally started to drop and as of this Thursday was down to 32. Hopefully it will be zero end of next week.
DH and I have decided to sell our 4brm house in a kid-infested cul de sac. There is not reason to stay here since my job here ended and we have no family near by and the house is big for just the two of us. It would be better for us to move on and have more money for traveling etc than on a big mortgage on an empty house. The house is going on the market on Thursday. I love the house so this is really hard for me on top of everything else as I envisioned raising my kids here when we bought it. But that is just not my life's path for reasons I just don't understand. We are going back to DH's home city about 45 mins north. Hopefully the house sells quickly as I hate the idea of people trodding through here all the time.
I've missed you all. It was very difficult to leave here cold turkey but it was what I had to do to get by. I just did not have an ability to share in others' joy when my own was ripped away from me on our very last try. I wish I was stronger than that but I'm not. Unfortunately not everyone gets a happy ending in the quest to have a baby and now I know I am one of them. Everyone always thinks it will never be them but it has to be someone.....
Anyway, I have to go to a dinner with the IL's today. I can only imagine what will come out of MIL's mouth and I really am going to stand up for myself. I don't need someone who had 3 kids back to back to back in her late 30's in the 1960s tell me how great my life can be without kids when she has no experience "not" having kids and always wants everyone down visiting her. We'll have no one visiting us- how would she like that? No holds barred. I'm hormonal and CFNBC!!!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
Re: Hi Guys...
__ticker warning______
McIrish I am so sorry things have ended this way for you, I hope that one day there will be light at the end of this dark tunnel. Please take care of yourself.
Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone)
Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
Jan 2013 BFP
Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
Yours doesn't have to be a sad story
*ticker*
I'm so sorry.
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB , 2nd u/s 146bpm
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
<a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
My deepest sympathy for what you have been dealing with this past month. I wish I could somehow make sense of it all for you. More than anything, I wish I could make it right with the simple wave of a magic wand.
Unfortunately, infertility is brutally unfair and it viscously gets the very best of us at times - a lot of the time. The only beauty of it all is that we miraculously find a way to pick ourselves up to press forward with the strength in our heart and our bones despite all the pain and frustration and disappointment we have endured. It isn't easy and it is to be commended.
You are so strong and so wise and I know you will seek out the path that will bring some light and joy back into your life. I wish you all the best with the currently undergoing changes with your living situation. Continue to do what is therapeutic and comforting and treat yourself with kindness every step of the way. And, always know that I am rooting for you. Many hugs and well wishes.
Countless BFN(s)
Moving to IVF
IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy
Pressing Forward
IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN
FET. 2TFR'ed.
Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
Where do we go from here?
Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
Finally some (tough) answers.
IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!
Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224!
1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats! Overjoyed!
****ticker warning****
My heart aches for you. I cannot imagine going through all that you have. Please know that I think of you all the time and are sending you virtual hugs. Please be kind to yourself.
TTC summer 2008
Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
Mental health break for 10 months
IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
7 fertilized transferred 3
Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl!
TTC#2 No birth control since DD was born. Getting ready to jump back in the saddle. Weaning this month. RE
appt scheduled 5/8. Here we go again!
11/13 beta #1 924!!! 2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430. First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures
2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN
12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue
1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13
PAIF/SAIF very welcome!
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
I am so sorry McIrish. As usual with this sh!t, words don't convey the depth of feelings adequately. But my heart goes out to you... I so wish that things could have been different for you, I know that this was a scenario you were afraid of ... it isn't something I would wish on a worst enemy, it's unfair and heartbreaking and defies understanding. I second what RPL has said ~ please be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to move through this and ultimately heal however you need to. And I am sending you big strong protective shield vibes because the thoughtlessly unkind things people will say can be breathtaking at times. Sigh... just so very sorry.
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR
IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response
IVF #2 Nov '11 8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical
IVF #3 April '12 11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c
FET #1 Aug 2012 3dt x2 - BFN
**new RE**
IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN
IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie
9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!
Twin girls! 3/6/14
*ticker warning*
I'm so sorry!
IVF #1 = BFN
FET #1 = BFN
FET #2 = BFN
IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
~~
TTC again March 2014
FET #3 - May/June 2014 - all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
IVF #4 - July/August 2014
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!
3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
McIrish I am so very sorry for your loss! I have been MIA myself because of similar situations. DH & I were getting ready to do IVF last year, but my body started to shut down on me. I'd always had female issues, but it was becoming unbearable. After a lifetime of living with extreme pain, DH & I made the decision to move forward with a hysterectomy. It took months of crying & mourning the loss of what might have been & coming to grips that we would never have the family that we always wanted.
Just about the time that the pain started getting worse, my sister started working her magic. My aunt had been raising my cousin's little boy for a year after he was put into foster care when he was 2, but her breast cancer had returned & she was having trouble taking care of him. He is now 4. We had never met him before, so we decided that we should at least meet him. We fell in love with him immediately! We started taking him on the weekends & then for a week at a time. He fit into our lives immediately. We ended up moving him in with us at the beginning of October & have made ourselves into a little family. We will be moving towards full adoption after the end of March.
I had my hysterectomy at the beginning of January. They found 7 cysts in my uterus & on my left ovary. The doctor said that my uterus was so damaged that I never would've been able to carry a baby to term. I know that it is easy for other peopel to say "maybe it's for the best" or "something better may be out there". It took me a while to realize that just because my family didn't come the way that I had always thought that it would, it doesn't make my family less of a family. You are an amazing woman & have always been such an emotional support for all of the women on this board. You deserve every happiness in this world. I wish you peace right now. If you ever need a shoulder, just PM me.
((hugs))
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!
Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...