Parenting
Who should get snipped: DH or me?
We're one and done. Currently have an IUD (Mirena) that I still have 3 years left on. I'm thinking DH should get snipped in like 2 years, so that way we can make sure his procedure is successful before I get my IUD out. Then, I started looking at tubal ligation and Essure, and am now wondering if I should be the one to get snipped? Anyone else go through this?
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Re: Who should get snipped: DH or me?
This is a on-going discussion ( more argument) in our home. I say DH
He's down to get snipped too. I'm thinking in terms of cost, simplicity, recovery, etc.
We are 27 and 30. I had such a rough pregnancy, delivery, and recovery that we can't go through that again.
My doctor asked this- he thought I might change my mind since I'm under 35. DH is 40, so less likely to change his mind. E.g. we could get divorced and I decide to have kids with someone else, or vice versa.
I know we're going to catch_shit for wanting it so "young", but we know what we want.
Well, it depends. If she's 25 and wanting something permanent done, I would probably suggest waiting. If something happened to her DH and she ended up re-marrying (this is assuming one and done is a choice, not a medical necessity) then I'd probably hold off. If she's 40 and closing in on the end of her child-bearing years then that's different.
Cool. The only reason I really wouldn't want to get a tubal myself is that my c-section recovery was terrible, and I only know one person IRL that has had their tubes tied outside of a c-section, and her recovery was rough as well.
Maybe this is totally out of line, but is that young to be certain you're one and done? Your LO is pretty young too...are you sure you won't change your mind?
I'm 27 so I ask completely non-judgementally and I know everyone is different, but I myself wouldn't feel sure I was one and done yet. I would probably wait a little longer to decide.
We're sure.
Yes, and obviously you were confident enough in your decision that you didn't need to ask advice from other people. She asked the question, we're just offering our own opinions. At the end of the day she and her husband are making the decision that's best for them.
While I think vasectomies are easier as far as recovery, I would say if it's the women that's absolutely certain she doesn't want to go through a pregnancy again, then she should probably be the one to get her tubes tied. If the man is 110% certain he would never want to father another child, then he should. I mean, y'all know what you want (or don't want) so just go with what works best for you.
I can't wait to get my balls snipped, tbh.
Someone mentioned like 4 days off around March Madness? Brilliant.
We are confident in our decision. We are just trying to go about the "best" way to ensure we don't have any more children. I was just looking for input from people who have gone through any of the 3 procedures, to see what they would recommend.
bump burp.
How about both, just to be sure?
Right. She asked for opinions on tubal vs. vasectomy.
This isn't a bad suggestion. I know more than one post-vasectomy baby IRL.
I wasn't saying OP wasn't confident in her decision to be one and done. I was referring to Gravy being confident in her decision to get her tubes tied. Sounded like OP was still on the fence about which way to go.
Hmmm....I'll have to think on that. I guess we'd have to stagger them a bit, so we're not both laid up with aching crotches at the same time. Though, that would be a longer stretch with no sex.
Lady, this is your body and your life. We don't use the 120 rule anymore.
ITA with this. DH and I have also decided that after we are done having kids he'll most likely be the one to get snipped. Its quicker, easier, cheaper, and if we should ever change our minds later on a vasectomy is much more reversible than a tubal.
That said,it really is a very personal decision and answers are bound to differ nased on the couple's circumstances.
Yeah. This. I've got one unplanned pregnancy going on right now. 98% for one person isn't good enough. 98% on two people would probably make me feel pretty safe. If I end up with another c/s I'll get my tubes tied. If not I am considering Essure and DH has already decided he is getting a vasectomy.
DH had it done.
He wined for 2 hours afterwards and then we got in the car and spent the weekend with his parents. Back to work on Monday.
My insurance won't even cover a tubal until 21. I found this interesting.
Also, DH and I are still unsure about what we want to do yet. We want 1 more child in 5 years. I'll be 27-28 then. I more than likely will get a tubal. They kept badgering me about it while I got my C/S with Cade. Which is weird cuz I'm 22. My Mom's old doc refused to do a tubal on her when she was in her late 30's early 40's. She was shocked to find out I had been offered it a few times now.
What if nothing happened to her DH and she ended up getting one or more unwanted pregnancies.....
My DH had a vasectomy at around 33-34 during his first marriage after 2 kids. He was done. Little did he know he would be divorced a few years later and meet someone 11 years younger with no kids.....he had a failed vas reversal and we did IVF. I knew going into the relationship that there was a possibility we would never have kids together but then again there is never a guarantee anyway. I admit I am glad we were able to have a child together but I married him knowing it may not happen and was Ok with that.
You can't possibly plan for all the what-ifs that might happen in your life time. Then no one should get fixed. 27 is young but not that young. Here (I assume that is most places) they will not do a tubal ligation on anyone under 21. Anyone over that age they will do a tubal. I am sure there is counseling involved but ultimately it is no body's business other than the person desiring the tubal.