My UO: I'm sad that the gender checkin post didn't stick. Also, suck it up if you couldn't find out the sex. If it's that important, just pay for another ultrasound instead of complaining.
My UO I think it's unpopular: Pregnancy hasn't been as much fun as all my friends and family made it sound.nbsp;nbsp;
Wait, who told you this was fun? They lied.
Not unpopular. Wasn't there a post last week where a gazillion people said they hated pregnancy? Personally, I love it. I even loved it in first tri, when I'd lay beaming on the sofa in between bathroom visits.
I don't really care that the sex (not gender, I know) topics are still all over the place, but I wish everyone would give their topics a clear title. No 'suprise' or 'who would have thought' or 'guess what' or 'question', tell me what it is about so I know if clicking is worthwhile or not.
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My UO: I really don't care for presidential names. I guess I'm used to Madison now, although that took a while, but Reagan, Kennedy, and all the rest... What's with these people?
I'd worry about my kid leaning to the other end of the political spectrum. What if you name your girl Reagan and she ends up being a fierce democrat? Maybe I'm overthinking this, but politics should stay out of first names, IMHO. And if you really want to honor a political idol, go with their first name, way less obvious.
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My UO: I'm sad that the gender checkin post didn't stick. Also, suck it up if you couldn't find out the sex. If it's that important, just pay for another ultrasound instead of complaining.
This should not be unpopular.
After the craziness in 2nd tri yesterday, I've decided I can't predict what some people on here will think. Am I crazy or are they??
I must have missed that post.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
My UO: I'm sad that the gender checkin post didn't stick. Also, suck it up if you couldn't find out the sex. If it's that important, just pay for another ultrasound instead of complaining.
Yeah the gender check-ins and the movement posts seem to be the bulk of the board lately. As far as disappointment about not finding out the sex, it didn't really ever occur to me that could happen (I'm that much of a pregnancy-dunce), but I agree. Just go get an elective at that point.
BFP # 1 11/2011, MC 12/2011
BFP #2 11/2012, Delivered at 21 weeks on 3/16/13 due to complications with bilateral renal agenesis.
My UO: I really don't care for presidential names. I guess I'm used to Madison now, although that took a while, but Reagan, Kennedy, and all the rest... What's with these people?
I'd worry about my kid leaning to the other end of the political spectrum. What if you name your girl Reagan and she ends up being a fierce democrat? Maybe I'm overthinking this, but politics should stay out of first names, IMHO. And if you really want to honor a political idol, go with their first name, way less obvious.
Haha Reagan is on our "list" for a boy and I didn't really associate it with politics. I just liked it.
My UO: I'm sad that the gender checkin post didn't stick. Also, suck it up if you couldn't find out the sex. If it's that important, just pay for another ultrasound instead of complaining.
This should not be unpopular.
After the craziness in 2nd tri yesterday, I've decided I can't predict what some people on here will think. Am I crazy or are they??
I must have missed that post.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
Fair enough. I think I'm guilty of this from time to time, maybe not, I think I usually just give T&P. But I do put my experiances out there in other types of posts I know, mainly so the OP knows they aren't alone.
my UO I actually liked being pregnant with DD... But not this little man, I'm far more uncomfortable, and just blah... but, I still wouldn't trade it.
People who complain about not being treated "fairly" for getting pregnant at work. Look, pregnancy is a big deal that takes time + effort and that's taken away from your job. If you want 20w of maternity leave, but then get upset when life moves on while you're gone, you should be rational enough to understand that 1) the world actually doesn't revolve around you 2) business moves on with/without you 3) you made a lifestyle decision, but your business didn't, so don't expect them to hold up for you. It's not practical, rational, or even remotely smart to think for a second that just because you want to have a kid or 4, that somehow your company should put you on a pedestal and wait on you while you have a baby. It's not fair to the other employees- you made a decision, a private decision, and that's not my business to have to deal with.
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
I must have missed that post.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
I disagree. Not everyone would react the same as me, but when I posted for T&P after an upsetting A/S result, I really appreciated hearing others experiences with it. I found it really encouraging!
My UO: I really don't care for presidential names. I guess I'm used to Madison now, although that took a while, but Reagan, Kennedy, and all the rest... What's with these people?
I'd worry about my kid leaning to the other end of the political spectrum. What if you name your girl Reagan and she ends up being a fierce democrat? Maybe I'm overthinking this, but politics should stay out of first names, IMHO. And if you really want to honor a political idol, go with their first name, way less obvious.
Haha Reagan is on our "list" for a boy and I didn't really associate it with politics. I just liked it.
Sorry!!!
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My UO is that I hate when people say that they shared their name with friends and family and they hated it, other posters chime in saying "that's why I would never tell people before the child is born."
A) It is already done, so why say anything at that point. If people are going to be rude enough to say it before the baby is born, they'll probably be rude enough to say it after. I've seen it happen. Or, they'll just talk about it behind your back. I would rather know that people didn't care for it, then think they love it but secretly they hate it. C) I'm excited that my baby has a name. It is not a common name, and my MIL hates it, but it is still my child's name, and I am excited for people to put a name to the baby growing inside of me.
It just seems so smug when people say, "well that's why you don't share the name until the baby is here." FWIW, I would never complain that my MIL hates the name, because it was H's great grandfather's name and she hated his name. We knew she hated it. We are prepared for other's to think it is strange. It is what it is.
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
Yeah, I don't agree.
I live in Belgium, and every working mother has a right to 15 weeks maternity leave. This is paid for out of 'social insurance' - every employee pays a monthly fee out of their paycheck, but receives payment if he or she would get fired, sick or pregnant.
So while I'm off work, I get paid, while my employer doesn't have to pay for it. They will hire a replacement, who'll have a temporary job. Everybody happy, I don't see how that's not fair?
The thing is, making a baby is a private decision, but one that very, very many people make. Most of the empoyees will at some point be pregnant, or want their wife/girlfriend to be able to take good care of herself and the newborn. As a society, we tend to find it important that women get equal opportunities in the workplace, and maternity leave is one of those things that keep women from dropping out. At the same time, we find it important that babies are taken good care of. So yes, while finding a good replacement can be somewhat of a burden, in the end everyone is happy. I really don't see what's not fair about that.
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People who complain about not being treated "fairly" for getting pregnant at work. Look, pregnancy is a big deal that takes time + effort and that's taken away from your job. If you want 20w of maternity leave, but then get upset when life moves on while you're gone, you should be rational enough to understand that 1) the world actually doesn't revolve around you 2) business moves on with/without you 3) you made a lifestyle decision, but your business didn't, so don't expect them to hold up for you. It's not practical, rational, or even remotely smart to think for a second that just because you want to have a kid or 4, that somehow your company should put you on a pedestal and wait on you while you have a baby. It's not fair to the other employees- you made a decision, a private decision, and that's not my business to have to deal with.
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
This honestly shouldn't be unpopular. I cannot believe the amount of people who expect to be paid when they are out of time/leave/etc. It is ridiculous.
My UO is that I miss the drama of our board. It has gotten so boring lately! I used to get excited to read all the snark and drama going on. What's the deal ladies? Don't make me go to 2nd tri and wade through a bunch of stupid/lame posts to find it....please....
YUP.
My UO - My DH feels weird having sex with me while I'm pregnant and even though I love having sex (and I do mean, I loooove having sex), I actually don't miss it and have no desire for it right now! It's kind of the first time that I don't feel like I NEED to have sex and it's kind of a relief.
Oct. 2012: Clomid + Ovidrel = Baby A born 07.17.13 at 38 wks!
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
Yeah, I don't agree.
I live in Belgium, and every working mother has a right to 15 weeks maternity leave. This is paid for out of 'social insurance' - every employee pays a monthly fee out of their paycheck, but receives payment if he or she would get fired, sick or pregnant.
So while I'm off work, I get paid, while my employer doesn't have to pay for it. They will hire a replacement, who'll have a temporary job. Everybody happy, I don't see how that's not fair?
The thing is, making a baby is a private decision, but one that very, very many people make. Most of the empoyees will at some point be pregnant, or want their wife/girlfriend to be able to take good care of herself and the newborn. As a society, we tend to find it important that women get equal opportunities in the workplace, and maternity leave is one of those things that keep women from dropping out. At the same time, we find it important that babies are taken good care of. So yes, while finding a good replacement can be somewhat of a burden, in the end everyone is happy. I really don't see what's not fair about that.
I'm on team Belgium! Should we take this a step further and turn it into a battle of the sexes? I bet if men were the ones having babies in the states, they would get paid leave! ; )
The US is actually super behind on their maternity leave policy--see link I posted in the Short Term Disability vent:
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
You're paying into it. In the US this is just "given" time. Some companies can afford to give paid leave, some cannot. It is unfair to expect your company to pay for more than they are willing or able to pay.
If we paid into it, then yeah sure, but I like my money to be in my pocket, so I can decide how to use it, I don't want the gov't taking anymore of my money, they take enough. I chose a job where they have good leave policy but if I didn't then I'd have to save up and pay for my time off.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
I disagree. Not everyone would react the same as me, but when I posted for T&P after an upsetting A/S result, I really appreciated hearing others experiences with it. I found it really encouraging!
I may not be remembering your particular situation but I believe you asked others for their experiences. I did clarify that if the OP does that then I have no issue with it. But if the OP isn't asking for that type of reassurance then don't make it about you.
Maybe it's a small difference but it's an important one in my opinion.
I am mobile so i cant look it up at the moment, but i believe you also pay much more of your money so you can have a fund like that. this is probably my UO: Most people who complain about the leave policies would also complain about paying more of their check into such a program. i have seen it on TB over the years as well as IRL - women here want leave like other countries have, but they dont want to pay into it like most countries do.
Elinetrouwt:
oh_maria:
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
Yeah, I don't agree.
I live in Belgium, and every working mother has a right to 15 weeks maternity leave. This is paid for out of 'social insurance' - every employee pays a monthly fee out of their paycheck, but receives payment if he or she would get fired, sick or pregnant.
So while I'm off work, I get paid, while my employer doesn't have to pay for it. They will hire a replacement, who'll have a temporary job. Everybody happy, I don't see how that's not fair?
The thing is, making a baby is a private decision, but one that very, very many people make. Most of the empoyees will at some point be pregnant, or want their wife/girlfriend to be able to take good care of herself and the newborn. As a society, we tend to find it important that women get equal opportunities in the workplace, and maternity leave is one of those things that keep women from dropping out. At the same time, we find it important that babies are taken good care of. So yes, while finding a good replacement can be somewhat of a burden, in the end everyone is happy. I really don't see what's not fair about that.
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
Because Americans are all about sink or swim and personal responsibility, isolation and no sense of community. Especially so called Christian Americans. That's my jaded view of the world lately.
My UO is that I can't wait for spring. Is that unpopular? It seems around here everyone is disappointed at the small amount of snow, but I am over the cold and the rain.
A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
Adding to this, I think T and P requests should only be written for you and your immediate family or if you are writing it for someone on the board. Maybe I'm a cold hearted b!tch, but I have no connection to your 2nd cousin's neighbor's uncle, I'm sure whatever they are going through is awful, but we don't need to care about everyone you are remotely connected to.
I must have missed that post.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
I disagree. Not everyone would react the same as me, but when I posted for T&P after an upsetting A/S result, I really appreciated hearing others experiences with it. I found it really encouraging!
I may not be remembering your particular situation but I believe you asked others for their experiences. I did clarify that if the OP does that then I have no issue with it. But if the OP isn't asking for that type of reassurance then don't make it about you.
Maybe it's a small difference but it's an important one in my opinion.
I tend to agree, but at the same time find myself doing this at times. Sometimes you just want to say something. I do try to edit myself. We actually had a training at work about this and how to have conversations with others. It's very common to try to build a relationship with common ground and the "I know what you are going through" statement. It's a hard habit to shake. I still do it, but I do catch myself now and I am working on it!
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
You're paying into it. In the US this is just "given" time. Some companies can afford to give paid leave, some cannot. It is unfair to expect your company to pay for more than they are willing or able to pay.
If we paid into it, then yeah sure, but I like my money to be in my pocket, so I can decide how to use it, I don't want the gov't taking anymore of my money, they take enough. I chose a job where they have good leave policy but if I didn't then I'd have to save up and pay for my time off.
I can see how that is different, since we pay for it. Still, this is something I'm expecting and I'd be pretty pissed if they'd take it away. And you may have chosen this job, but not everyone is in the position to choose a job based on maternity leave policy.
And I'm fine with the government taking money away from me for this sort of insurance. There is a solidarity factor involved: for those who make the most money, it would probably me more efficient to save privately, but to make the system work, everyone needs to make a contribution. It only works if enough people take part, so I have no problem with this being mandatory. Sure, I make a bit less. But is a relief to know I will receive benefits if something were to happen to me, like sickness or unemployment.
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This is what I (tried) to say. And do you know in the time it took me to write my post, like 6 went up on this thread, lol. I am going to blame getting a snack for my kids and hope I'm not that slow.
Also, Carrie, I agree with you. I would rather decide how to spend my money than the govt. And I didn't have a leave where I worked when pg 1, so I did have to save $ up.
Carrie3102:
Elinetrouwt:
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
You're paying into it. In the US this is just "given" time. Some companies can afford to give paid leave, some cannot. It is unfair to expect your company to pay for more than they are willing or able to pay.
If we paid into it, then yeah sure, but I like my money to be in my pocket, so I can decide how to use it, I don't want the gov't taking anymore of my money, they take enough. I chose a job where they have good leave policy but if I didn't then I'd have to save up and pay for my time off.
My UO is that I can't wait for spring. Is that unpopular? It seems around here everyone is disappointed at the small amount of snow, but I am over the cold and the rain.
It's a very popular opinion with everyone I talk to. Tomorrow will be the first of March, which is spring officially. Nevermind that the weather will suck for at least another month, I've been counting the days!
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Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
Yeah, I don't agree.
I live in Belgium, and every working mother has a right to 15 weeks maternity leave. This is paid for out of 'social insurance' - every employee pays a monthly fee out of their paycheck, but receives payment if he or she would get fired, sick or pregnant.
So while I'm off work, I get paid, while my employer doesn't have to pay for it. They will hire a replacement, who'll have a temporary job. Everybody happy, I don't see how that's not fair?
The thing is, making a baby is a private decision, but one that very, very many people make. Most of the empoyees will at some point be pregnant, or want their wife/girlfriend to be able to take good care of herself and the newborn. As a society, we tend to find it important that women get equal opportunities in the workplace, and maternity leave is one of those things that keep women from dropping out. At the same time, we find it important that babies are taken good care of. So yes, while finding a good replacement can be somewhat of a burden, in the end everyone is happy. I really don't see what's not fair about that.
I actually just made a comment about this in the 2nd tri thread. We want women to get equal rights, then women get Drs notes to not go to work because they are tired or uncomfortable. As a woman, frankly, I don't think anyone doing that should get equal rights. Tired and uncomfortable are not medical conditions, they will not harm your baby or yourself, suck it up. I'm a SAHM, I can't not take care of my daughter because I'm tired and uncomfortable.
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
Because Americans are all about sink or swim and personal responsibility, isolation and no sense of community. Especially so called Christian Americans. That's my jaded view of the world lately.
Or, in other words, family is really important guys, hetero families are the building blocks of our society, but don't stay home from your job to take care of your kids. You shouldn't have had a job to begin with, woman.
As a Christian American I think you are way off base. I may not support too much government interferance but I totally believe in communities helping eachother. And where I come from we do. The local churches have a food pantry that is always stocked always free and open to any who need. They also take up collections for hats, coats, mittens, clothes in general for needy families. If someone's house burns down we are all there to help. I've helped with habitat for humanity. Our community saved up the money through fund raisers etc and built a safe playground for the kids... and when I say built, WE built it.
I believe in gay rights, I believe in women's rights, I believe in individual's rights, and so on. But I also believe the government is too big and over reaching at the cost of personal freedoms. Communities do need to come together more and help, but government also needs to butt out a bit.
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
You're paying into it. In the US this is just "given" time. Some companies can afford to give paid leave, some cannot. It is unfair to expect your company to pay for more than they are willing or able to pay.
If we paid into it, then yeah sure, but I like my money to be in my pocket, so I can decide how to use it, I don't want the gov't taking anymore of my money, they take enough. I chose a job where they have good leave policy but if I didn't then I'd have to save up and pay for my time off.
I can see how that is different, since we pay for it. Still, this is something I'm expecting and I'd be pretty pissed if they'd take it away. And you may have chosen this job, but not everyone is in the position to choose a job based on maternity leave policy.
And I'm fine with the government taking money away from me for this sort of insurance. There is a solidarity factor involved: for those who make the most money, it would probably me more efficient to save privately, but to make the system work, everyone needs to make a contribution. It only works if enough people take part, so I have no problem with this being mandatory. Sure, I make a bit less. But is a relief to know I will receive benefits if something were to happen to me, like sickness or unemployment.
You'd have every right to be pissed since you pay for it. But if the company was paying for it, then you'd have no right to be pissed. You chose the job, you knew the benefits, and you chose to become pregnant. Please let's not get into the "this was an accident" discussion you chose to have sex knowing that a baby could result. So, you took a risk. If the company didn't have maternity coverage, and you aren't paying into a gov't plan, then you knew what you would potentially be getting yourself into.
That's all I"m saying is if we paid for it... sure, but since the US doesn't then quit moaning when you don't get it, just know in advance and either save, wait to have kids, or find a job that has a better leave policy.
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
Because Americans are all about sink or swim and personal responsibility, isolation and no sense of community. Especially so called Christian Americans. That's my jaded view of the world lately.
Or, in other words, family is really important guys, hetero families are the building blocks of our society, but don't stay home from your job to take care of your kids. You shouldn't have had a job to begin with, woman.
As a Christian American I think you are way off base. I may not support too much government interferance but I totally believe in communities helping eachother. And where I come from we do. The local churches have a food pantry that is always stocked always free and open to any who need. They also take up collections for hats, coats, mittens, clothes in general for needy families. If someone's house burns down we are all there to help. I've helped with habitat for humanity. Our community saved up the money through fund raisers etc and built a safe playground for the kids... and when I say built, WE built it.
I believe in gay rights, I believe in women's rights, I believe in individual's rights, and so on. But I also believe the government is too big and over reaching at the cost of personal freedoms. Communities do need to come together more and help, but government also needs to butt out a bit.
I am not off base. You may be an awesome Christian American, but my experience (and I am a Christian who had to leave her church because of the hate) says that if you are an awesome Christian American you are in a minority.
When people say, "It's my money to do with as I like and too bad for those poor folks," then someone has to step in and help. And right now the Government is the one doing it. If wealthy people would be a bit more generous without the Government then I'd be all about it, but they aren't. They give to charity to the extent it reduces their taxes and that's about it. It's not enough.
As I said, I'm jaded and sad to have discovered this about people. I wish I still had my head in the sand.
Obviously, I'm not saying that the above system is superior, I just don't see why it would be 'unfair'.
Because Americans are all about sink or swim and personal responsibility, isolation and no sense of community. Especially so called Christian Americans. That's my jaded view of the world lately.
Or, in other words, family is really important guys, hetero families are the building blocks of our society, but don't stay home from your job to take care of your kids. You shouldn't have had a job to begin with, woman.
As a Christian American I think you are way off base. I may not support too much government interferance but I totally believe in communities helping eachother. And where I come from we do. The local churches have a food pantry that is always stocked always free and open to any who need. They also take up collections for hats, coats, mittens, clothes in general for needy families. If someone's house burns down we are all there to help. I've helped with habitat for humanity. Our community saved up the money through fund raisers etc and built a safe playground for the kids... and when I say built, WE built it.
I believe in gay rights, I believe in women's rights, I believe in individual's rights, and so on. But I also believe the government is too big and over reaching at the cost of personal freedoms. Communities do need to come together more and help, but government also needs to butt out a bit.
I am not off base. You may be an awesome Christian American, but my experience (and I am a Christian who had to leave her church because of the hate) says that if you are an awesome Christian American you are in a minority.
When people say, "It's my money to do with as I like and too bad for those poor folks," then someone has to step in and help. And right now the Government is the one doing it. If wealthy people would be a bit more generous without the Government then I'd be all about it, but they aren't. They give to charity to the extent it reduces their taxes and that's about it. It's not enough.
As I said, I'm jaded and sad to have discovered this about people. I wish I still had my head in the sand.
My head is not in the sand. Not at all. In our community that is how it works, people help. The end. However, I did say that in my above post, that maybe I felt this way because of how my community works.
I see that there are problems, definitely agree. However, the government shouldn't be taking from me more from me it makes it harder for me to help my community, because there's less for me to give, as I still have to take care of my family too.
If the government would actually try to help people get ahead instead of trying to hold them down by promising more "freebies" to get votes then maybe I'd be for more gov't help. But believe me, that's all they are doing trying to buy votes and keep people poor. They don't want them to get ahead, because then what reason would they have to take more from the "rich". Class warfare is stupid. We need to come together not pit poor against rich.
The rich pay more taxes than everyone else why should they have to pay even more? How about a flat tax? Or better yet do away with the income tax and have a consumption tax. If everyone was paying and had some skin in the game then maybe we'd all be more critical of what the government spends money on.
I'm not saying that help from the government isn't necessary but it shouldn't go on for ever and ever for folks who are of sound body and mind and just "don't" work. There are people like that, I know them, they are in my family. So, I'm also jaded I suppose by the laziness I see and how many times I see my own family "working" the system.
I hate when people substitute the word "gender" for "sex". I love it when people complain about their baby's "gender" and someone says, "don't worry, they could still identify as a girl. So you might still be team pink someday." Hilarious.
I hate when people substitute the word "gender" for "sex". I love it when people complain about their baby's "gender" and someone says, "don't worry, they could still identify as a girl. So you might still be team pink someday." Hilarious.
sparkymcgeee
member
Re: UO
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
haha I think our hormones are settling down :P
My UO (I think it's unpopular): Pregnancy hasn't been as much fun as all my friends and family made it sound.
Wait, who told you this was fun? They lied.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
This should not be unpopular.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Right? I think I need new friends.
Not unpopular. Wasn't there a post last week where a gazillion people said they hated pregnancy? Personally, I love it. I even loved it in first tri, when I'd lay beaming on the sofa in between bathroom visits.
I don't really care that the sex (not gender, I know) topics are still all over the place, but I wish everyone would give their topics a clear title. No 'suprise' or 'who would have thought' or 'guess what' or 'question', tell me what it is about so I know if clicking is worthwhile or not.
Yeah seriously! I am not really loving it either! Wouldn't trade it for anything, but yeah... no fun!
My UO: I really don't care for presidential names. I guess I'm used to Madison now, although that took a while, but Reagan, Kennedy, and all the rest... What's with these people?
I'd worry about my kid leaning to the other end of the political spectrum. What if you name your girl Reagan and she ends up being a fierce democrat? Maybe I'm overthinking this, but politics should stay out of first names, IMHO. And if you really want to honor a political idol, go with their first name, way less obvious.
I must have missed that post.
I have another. A T and P request here is not about anyone other than the OP. So don't share your own personal horror story that might be sorta similar unless they ask for experiences. It's not about you. It makes you look tacky and selfish and very attention whorey.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Yeah the gender check-ins and the movement posts seem to be the bulk of the board lately. As far as disappointment about not finding out the sex, it didn't really ever occur to me that could happen (I'm that much of a pregnancy-dunce), but I agree. Just go get an elective at that point.
No UO so far today.
Fair enough. I think I'm guilty of this from time to time, maybe not, I think I usually just give T&P. But I do put my experiances out there in other types of posts I know, mainly so the OP knows they aren't alone.
my UO I actually liked being pregnant with DD... But not this little man, I'm far more uncomfortable, and just blah... but, I still wouldn't trade it.
People who complain about not being treated "fairly" for getting pregnant at work. Look, pregnancy is a big deal that takes time + effort and that's taken away from your job. If you want 20w of maternity leave, but then get upset when life moves on while you're gone, you should be rational enough to understand that 1) the world actually doesn't revolve around you 2) business moves on with/without you 3) you made a lifestyle decision, but your business didn't, so don't expect them to hold up for you. It's not practical, rational, or even remotely smart to think for a second that just because you want to have a kid or 4, that somehow your company should put you on a pedestal and wait on you while you have a baby. It's not fair to the other employees- you made a decision, a private decision, and that's not my business to have to deal with.
Look, I'm all about wanting to have a ton of maternity leave, but I shouldn't expect to be paid for such an absence and I shouldn't expect for the job to be on "pause" while I'm gone. How is that fair to customers? To clients? To students? To those who need social services?
I disagree. Not everyone would react the same as me, but when I posted for T&P after an upsetting A/S result, I really appreciated hearing others experiences with it. I found it really encouraging!
I hope my UO alleviates this situation for you. I know it's a sore spot for a few, so hopefully you can enjoy the fireworks.
Ha. July13 pun. ha.
Sorry!!!
My UO is that I hate when people say that they shared their name with friends and family and they hated it, other posters chime in saying "that's why I would never tell people before the child is born."
A) It is already done, so why say anything at that point.
If people are going to be rude enough to say it before the baby is born, they'll probably be rude enough to say it after. I've seen it happen. Or, they'll just talk about it behind your back. I would rather know that people didn't care for it, then think they love it but secretly they hate it. C) I'm excited that my baby has a name. It is not a common name, and my MIL hates it, but it is still my child's name, and I am excited for people to put a name to the baby growing inside of me.
It just seems so smug when people say, "well that's why you don't share the name until the baby is here." FWIW, I would never complain that my MIL hates the name, because it was H's great grandfather's name and she hated his name. We knew she hated it. We are prepared for other's to think it is strange. It is what it is.
Baby boy 7.10.13
Yeah, I don't agree.
I live in Belgium, and every working mother has a right to 15 weeks maternity leave. This is paid for out of 'social insurance' - every employee pays a monthly fee out of their paycheck, but receives payment if he or she would get fired, sick or pregnant.
So while I'm off work, I get paid, while my employer doesn't have to pay for it. They will hire a replacement, who'll have a temporary job. Everybody happy, I don't see how that's not fair?
The thing is, making a baby is a private decision, but one that very, very many people make. Most of the empoyees will at some point be pregnant, or want their wife/girlfriend to be able to take good care of herself and the newborn. As a society, we tend to find it important that women get equal opportunities in the workplace, and maternity leave is one of those things that keep women from dropping out. At the same time, we find it important that babies are taken good care of. So yes, while finding a good replacement can be somewhat of a burden, in the end everyone is happy. I really don't see what's not fair about that.
This honestly shouldn't be unpopular. I cannot believe the amount of people who expect to be paid when they are out of time/leave/etc. It is ridiculous.
YUP.
My UO - My DH feels weird having sex with me while I'm pregnant and even though I love having sex (and I do mean, I loooove having sex), I actually don't miss it and have no desire for it right now! It's kind of the first time that I don't feel like I NEED to have sex and it's kind of a relief.
I'm on team Belgium! Should we take this a step further and turn it into a battle of the sexes? I bet if men were the ones having babies in the states, they would get paid leave! ; )
The US is actually super behind on their maternity leave policy--see link I posted in the Short Term Disability vent:
https://www.npr.org/2011/08/09/137062676/time-with-a-newborn-maternity-leave-policies-around-the-world
You're paying into it. In the US this is just "given" time. Some companies can afford to give paid leave, some cannot. It is unfair to expect your company to pay for more than they are willing or able to pay.
If we paid into it, then yeah sure, but I like my money to be in my pocket, so I can decide how to use it, I don't want the gov't taking anymore of my money, they take enough. I chose a job where they have good leave policy but if I didn't then I'd have to save up and pay for my time off.
I may not be remembering your particular situation but I believe you asked others for their experiences. I did clarify that if the OP does that then I have no issue with it. But if the OP isn't asking for that type of reassurance then don't make it about you.
Maybe it's a small difference but it's an important one in my opinion.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Because Americans are all about sink or swim and personal responsibility, isolation and no sense of community. Especially so called Christian Americans. That's my jaded view of the world lately.
My UO is that I can't wait for spring. Is that unpopular? It seems around here everyone is disappointed at the small amount of snow, but I am over the cold and the rain.
Adding to this, I think T and P requests should only be written for you and your immediate family or if you are writing it for someone on the board. Maybe I'm a cold hearted b!tch, but I have no connection to your 2nd cousin's neighbor's uncle, I'm sure whatever they are going through is awful, but we don't need to care about everyone you are remotely connected to.
I tend to agree, but at the same time find myself doing this at times. Sometimes you just want to say something. I do try to edit myself. We actually had a training at work about this and how to have conversations with others. It's very common to try to build a relationship with common ground and the "I know what you are going through" statement. It's a hard habit to shake. I still do it, but I do catch myself now and I am working on it!
I can see how that is different, since we pay for it. Still, this is something I'm expecting and I'd be pretty pissed if they'd take it away. And you may have chosen this job, but not everyone is in the position to choose a job based on maternity leave policy.
And I'm fine with the government taking money away from me for this sort of insurance. There is a solidarity factor involved: for those who make the most money, it would probably me more efficient to save privately, but to make the system work, everyone needs to make a contribution. It only works if enough people take part, so I have no problem with this being mandatory. Sure, I make a bit less. But is a relief to know I will receive benefits if something were to happen to me, like sickness or unemployment.
Also, Carrie, I agree with you. I would rather decide how to spend my money than the govt. And I didn't have a leave where I worked when pg 1, so I did have to save $ up.
It's a very popular opinion with everyone I talk to. Tomorrow will be the first of March, which is spring officially. Nevermind that the weather will suck for at least another month, I've been counting the days!
I actually just made a comment about this in the 2nd tri thread. We want women to get equal rights, then women get Drs notes to not go to work because they are tired or uncomfortable. As a woman, frankly, I don't think anyone doing that should get equal rights. Tired and uncomfortable are not medical conditions, they will not harm your baby or yourself, suck it up. I'm a SAHM, I can't not take care of my daughter because I'm tired and uncomfortable.
As a Christian American I think you are way off base. I may not support too much government interferance but I totally believe in communities helping eachother. And where I come from we do. The local churches have a food pantry that is always stocked always free and open to any who need. They also take up collections for hats, coats, mittens, clothes in general for needy families. If someone's house burns down we are all there to help. I've helped with habitat for humanity. Our community saved up the money through fund raisers etc and built a safe playground for the kids... and when I say built, WE built it.
I believe in gay rights, I believe in women's rights, I believe in individual's rights, and so on. But I also believe the government is too big and over reaching at the cost of personal freedoms. Communities do need to come together more and help, but government also needs to butt out a bit.
You'd have every right to be pissed since you pay for it. But if the company was paying for it, then you'd have no right to be pissed. You chose the job, you knew the benefits, and you chose to become pregnant. Please let's not get into the "this was an accident" discussion you chose to have sex knowing that a baby could result. So, you took a risk. If the company didn't have maternity coverage, and you aren't paying into a gov't plan, then you knew what you would potentially be getting yourself into.
That's all I"m saying is if we paid for it... sure, but since the US doesn't then quit moaning when you don't get it, just know in advance and either save, wait to have kids, or find a job that has a better leave policy.
I am not off base. You may be an awesome Christian American, but my experience (and I am a Christian who had to leave her church because of the hate) says that if you are an awesome Christian American you are in a minority.
When people say, "It's my money to do with as I like and too bad for those poor folks," then someone has to step in and help. And right now the Government is the one doing it. If wealthy people would be a bit more generous without the Government then I'd be all about it, but they aren't. They give to charity to the extent it reduces their taxes and that's about it. It's not enough.
As I said, I'm jaded and sad to have discovered this about people. I wish I still had my head in the sand.
My head is not in the sand. Not at all. In our community that is how it works, people help. The end. However, I did say that in my above post, that maybe I felt this way because of how my community works.
I see that there are problems, definitely agree. However, the government shouldn't be taking from me more from me it makes it harder for me to help my community, because there's less for me to give, as I still have to take care of my family too.
If the government would actually try to help people get ahead instead of trying to hold them down by promising more "freebies" to get votes then maybe I'd be for more gov't help. But believe me, that's all they are doing trying to buy votes and keep people poor. They don't want them to get ahead, because then what reason would they have to take more from the "rich". Class warfare is stupid. We need to come together not pit poor against rich.
The rich pay more taxes than everyone else why should they have to pay even more? How about a flat tax? Or better yet do away with the income tax and have a consumption tax. If everyone was paying and had some skin in the game then maybe we'd all be more critical of what the government spends money on.
I'm not saying that help from the government isn't necessary but it shouldn't go on for ever and ever for folks who are of sound body and mind and just "don't" work. There are people like that, I know them, they are in my family. So, I'm also jaded I suppose by the laziness I see and how many times I see my own family "working" the system.