Have we done a shower post lately?
JennyLynne
member
So I got a text from my mom. My sister in law & aunt want to have a shower for me, which really surprised me (SIL can be...moody/stand-offish, so it really shocked me actually) and I'm very thankful...but they're already planning it. I haven't even done my a/s yet--I feel like this is way too early, but maybe it's just because I'm a bundle of nerves waiting for the "big appointment". Does it seem early considering I'm not due until the end of July? I don't know how these things work really. Right now they're planning for April 28th. For some reason all the sudden I'm like, "Whoa. this is moving fast"
The other thing my mom texted me is that I need to invite my friends and my MIL. I said no to MIL--DH and I have been having issues with her for years (she lives in town, and I haven't seen her in two years. To say we're not close is an understatement). I also am saying no to friends. It feels too gift-grabby for me to invite them when my family is so huge and overbearing. I feel like it would just be awkward for them to sit with my family of 15+ women and have like 3 or 4 of them. Or is this what people do? Should I just invite them anyway? I'm the first of my friends to be pregnant (yes, at 31, I'm only acquaintances with people with kids) so I don't have baby shower experience. I had my bridal shower back when I was 23 in my first marriage and I felt so awkward throughout the whole thing with all of that attention focused on me. Eek!
Thoughts/guidance on this? Again, I'm grateful they want to do something for me and the baby, but I'm all the sudden so nervous about it.
Re: Have we done a shower post lately?
I don't think I'd feel as weird if they wanted to do a separate one. I don't know though. As close as my family is, I've always kind of kept them at arms reach just because I find them to be overbearing even for me at times, so I can't imagine what my friends would think as outsiders. They all love me very much and are thrilled to be expecting a new cousin/great niece-nephew/etc. I just always tend to be one of those people where others seem to feel closer to me than I feel toward them. So maybe it's partly that issue which is causing me some distress about mixing friends/family.
Or maybe it's just that showers are just plain weird?
I hate that I just became so instantly stressed with that one text.
It may be my lack of experience with showers/babies that causes me to be out of touch with this--I'm guessing that's how a lot of people feel and it's all just so lost on me!
You know I feel the same way- I do not care to be the center of attention, and I am also not as close to my family. But in the few events in my life where my friends and family have been mixed, I've found it relaxing to have my besties around. All families are weird/different- your friends will likely be honored to go and meet your relatives, they will not be judging them! Inviting 3-4 friends does not strike me as 'gift-grabby' in any way.
But, if it's really stressing you out, just stick to family
If you only have a handful of friends, that is definitely not gift grabby and they can always hang together for the shower. But, if you don't want to invite them, you don't have to.
Oh goodness... I have been super stressed out too; I am due in June. I kinda wish mine would be earlier, but I am thankful to my mom's side for putting together a shower during May. They offered to let me invite friends, but I have many really involved friends who are almost another family so they are helping me prepare a fun Moroccan Baby shower in April. So there's two showers... now there is my husband's family who I have no idea if they are planning anything. Possibly three baby showers whew! My friends have been a huge support for me, and are even maybe more excited than me. I feel stressed that I might leave someone out, but I understand that feeling of this is too much. I just make sure people don't feel badly if they can't make it.
Also, if anybody makes you feel uncomfortable just have a male bouncer (not to be confused with a baby bouncer) at the door to escort them out. LOL Ok, maybe my pregnant humor isn't so great these days.
Good Luck to you, and I hope you enjoy the celebration.
It doesn't seem early to me. Mine is hopefully going to be April 20th (as long as I have 5 days off!), as I have to travel about 7+ hrs to get to it. The only other option for me was the end of May and I am pretty sure a 7+ hr car ride at that point wouldn't be my top choice of things to do.
My sis's are throwing it and it will be a mix of friends and family.
I am in a similar situation where I was the first to get married and am first to have a baby amongst my close friends. My bridal shower felt forced and a little awkward with friends and family not knowing each other too well and with no one having had experience with showers. My friends were also in that stage where they were preoccupied with dating and careers and had no interest in marriage. I think the experience and interest level counts for a lot. If your friends have never been to a baby shower or don't care for babies/pregnancies it may be awkward and not fun for them, with or without an overbearing family present. If they love baby showers they'll probably want to be there anyway or throw you their own shower. You know your friends well so you can make the judgement call best.
The date itself doesn't sound too early. You'll be further along by then and will probably know the sex as well. Have fun!
Induced not indices stupid phone!!