Pregnant after IF

A different kind of IF guilt.......

I  am starting to get SO uncomfortable....... And I feel totally guilty complaining about it given that it took so much to get pregnant. Please tell me I am not alone with these feelings!!!


"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

Re: A different kind of IF guilt.......

  • I know just how you feel. Someone else posted something similar the other day, that we deserve to have the normal moans and groans that regular pregnant women have too! We earned it even more! 

    I often mention how my back hurts or a cramp or I'm tired, etc etc. Honestly I don't even think of it as complaining, moreso just a statement of how I feel at the moment. If someone accuses me of complaining, then I say "Duh, I'm pregnant. I'm allowed to and I love that I actually CAN complain about it!" Just because we wanted to become pregnant SO badly doesn't mean we're immune or not allowed to feel the less than fun symptoms that accompany our condition.  

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  • imageHinessn:

    Just because we wanted to become pregnant SO badly doesn't mean we're immune or not allowed to feel the less than fun symptoms that accompany our condition.  

    Ditto!  Complain away!  We are all pregnant and suffering through the aches and pains that come with pregnancy.  We shouldn't have to bottle up our emotions just because we've wanted this pregnancy for so long. 

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

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  • You're not alone.  But we shouldn't do this to ourselves!  I do it, too, I fully admit.  I've talked about this with my IF therapist and it seems to be very normal.  We don't have to love every nuance of pregnancy because we struggled so much to get here.  Being pregnant isn't easy, as I'm learning more every day. It's ok to acknowledge that truth and yes, even to complain!  Though I prefer to think of it as making observations as opposed to complaining.  :) Sorry you're so uncomfortable. 
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
  • You are so not alone!! We get just as uncomfortable as those who got pregnant the easy way!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    TTC#3
    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
  • Do not feel guilty!  We've been robbed of so many things a normal pg woman gets to experience.  Complaining is totally one of them!  Doesn't mean you aren't happy to be pg... means you are enjoying every minute of it... including the part where you get to complain about being uncomfortable!

    (I had a post on this yesterday I think

    https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72175513.aspx )

    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • OMG! I went thru this with DH early on... I felt so awful because I was dealing with m/s until around 18-19w and he didn't understand why I never wanted to do anything because I didn't complain about it, so I finally snapped at him and told him "If you felt like you had the flu 24/7 and that you might blow chunks at any second, would you want to go out and socialize and put on a happy face? I doubt it!"  I told him I don't complain about it because being pregnant is exactly what we wanted and worked so hard for,but if he really wanted to know what I was feeling all the time, I'd be happy to share with him. 

    More recently, I've started getting more aches and pains (which are totally to be expected) as well as BH contractions, but luckily they haven't been bad. He's been amazing though... he asks every day, multiple times, how I'm feeling so I tell him, just not in a complaining manner. We actually went to Maroon 5 last night and he must've asked me 5 times throughout the concert if I'm doing ok... started to get on my nerves, but super sweet at the same time!

    But I agree with pp... just because we went thru IF and wanted this so badly, it doesn't mean we're immune to all the symptoms that come along with pregnancy.  

    Skylar Elena and Hollyn Isabella... our two beautiful blessings arrived April 18, 2013!
    <br>
    <a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=2hpq3o3" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.tinypic.com/2hpq3o3.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
    <br>
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  • imageGregermis:

    Do not feel guilty!  We've been robbed of so many things a normal pg woman gets to experience.  Complaining is totally one of them!  Doesn't mean you aren't happy to be pg... means you are enjoying every minute of it... including the part where you get to complain about being uncomfortable!

    (I had a post on this yesterday I think

    https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72175513.aspx )

    i somehow had totally missed your post!!  


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • Thanks for the support ladies. I really needed the re-assurance. I have had such an easy pregnancy but the third tri has really kicked my as&. 

    The lack of energy is absolutely killing me.(I did not have this symptom first tri which I am incredibly grateful for..) I am at the point where I don't have the energy to do anything. Even getting dressed is such a chore. And the tiredness makes me snappy.

    Also my feet are constantly swollen - no matter what I do. While this isn't  painful or anything, I'm probably going to need new shoes in the future...... Why can't it be flip flop season??? We've also had a horrendous Feb in CT weather wise......a blizzard a couple weekends ago and the forecast of snow every weekend since. It's freezing out and always thinking I am going to fall on snow and ice is not helping matters. Plus a little fresh air on a daily basis and maybe even the ability to go for a walk would just be awesome at this point!

    At the end of the day lately I am just questioning how I am ever going to make it 6 more weeks like this!!! Getting bigger each day none the less. Ugh!  Totally ready to meet my LO! 


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • Thank goodness I'm not the only one... my hubby makes me feel so bad about this. The worst for me is nausea and I have had it since before my blood test came back positive and I'm just praying it goes away after delivery lol. But anytime I cry about feeling nauseous or any thing my husbands like but this is what we wanted for sooo long be grateful and a couple times I snapped and told him to trade places with me and see how it feels and he's told me he gladly would and he could handle it with out crying about it. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think it's totally okay to feel and express these things.  I just try to be aware of my audience.  Around someone I know is (or think might be) struggling to get pregnant, I won't say anything.  But around fertile myrtles or my husband/family, or the women here... absolutely!
      image

    TTC starting November 2010  HSG clear, DH SA #1- Slightly low count & motility SA#2-normal
    Lap&Dye/Hysterscopy Feb 2012: Endo stage 2
    April - June 2012: Femera 5 mg & 3 IUIs = All BFN    July/August 2012: IVF #1 = C/P
    September/October 2012: IVF #2 BFP! Beta 1= 223 Beta 2 = 480 Beta 3 = 11,440
    My beautiful daughter was born June 21, 2013
    TTC #2 naturally, no luck
    IVF #3 April 2015: BFN
    IVF #4 July 2015: BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt = 409, Beta 2 13dp5dt = 1743


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