Hi. Sorry to barge in here, but I honestly don't know who else to ask. My husband and I are TTC. We've had 1 miscarriage 2 months ago, and just started TTC again this month. Usually this is not an issue, but every once in a while my husband will not be able to ejaculate. This just so happened to be today (when I'm ovulating) and I could tell he was upset, even though I'm not. I told him not to worry about it, we can try again tomorrow...but I could tell he was still upset. Any advice on how to get him over this?
Thanks in advance.
Re: Help! Husband is upset when he can't "perform"
It sucks that it's happening when you're trying to conceive. But, again, making a big deal out of it might just add to the pressure he's already feeling. I think your best bet would be to try to get him as relaxed as possible before you have sex. Help him get rid of all stress. Keep things light. It'll happen. Trust me.
Do not make a thing out of this... it won't make him feel any better about it.
He may be feeling the pressure of trying to make it work this time, or subconciously may be afraid that if he gets you pregnant again that you'll lose it again, or may not be emotionally ready to "get back in there" for another go round.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's nerves and anxiety induced by the loss you went through.
I feel like for a lot of guys, taking the pressure off can lead to the ideal outcome. TTC can be stressful, and I strongly feel it's important to keep the fun and recreation in sex while trying to make a baby. Your mileage may vary based on your own particulars, but if you guys were into adult film or bondage or dirty talk before baby making, there's no reason not to still use that in your dirty time now. Most guys have *something* that turns their crank like nothing else, and as your wife, you probably know what it is.
Nerves, stress and anxiety are all barriers to conception, in my opinion. The two times my wife has gotten pregnant, we have been on vacation, away from work and the stress of day to day life.
Sometimes that is all it takes to make the little guys swim better.....