I'll be 35 in May and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. My Fiance proposed in October and we just found out we are expecting. Our wedding is June 22nd. We called around to see if we could move the wedding date up and we can to May 11 but here's my problems:
1. Is it awful to not want to have prego wedding pics or should I just be loud and proud?
2. I really don't want the wedding to be about "the baby" we have such a wonderful love story I wouldn't want anything to overshadow it. If we kept it in June how would I tell folks ahead of time so as not to have everyone surprised? (im assuming at 24 weeks id be not able to hide it)
3. May 11 is mothers day weekend my birthday weekend and it would be our anniversary
Any brainstorming would be really helpful. thanks!
Re: move the wedding date? I'll be 24 weeks.
If it were me, I would just do a small wedding as soon as possible. But I don't know how important it is to you to have a big wedding (?).
1. I think you will still be showing in May. If it were me, I wouldn't want pregnant wedding photos, so I understand.
2. I am sure people will know you are PG, whether in May or in June. I don't think you will have to "warn" them. If they are close enough to you to come to your wedding, then they are close enough to you to know you are PG. I am assuming you are inviting family and friends to the wedding, right?
3. I wouldn't want to have my anniversary, mothers day and birthday all at one time of year.
Totally JMO, but once you are PG, I think a great deal of the focus and planning is put on the new family member/life being brought into the world and not so much on weddings. Again, JMO, but I would much rather spend my time and money planning for the baby than a wedding. I would also much prefer having a baby shower to a bridal shower. These are some of the reasons I would opt for a very small wedding.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
Thanks for your response!
We live far from our family so no one would know. Since I'm 35 yrs old I have a "higher risk" and we wouldn't want to tell anyone till I was about 18 weeks or so. (And that's the May date for moving the wedding). In the gown I have it wouldn't be obvious in May, so I'd have "normal" looking pics.
The pre planned June wedding can just be moved and the same in May, no smaller needed.
So if no ones knows we are expecting and we keep it in June, we'd have to pre announce that we are expecting sometime in May (do people do "expecting announcements?") so as not have it be shocking to all of our guests and have that news take over the wedding day.
Guh...so confused.
wouldn't people wonder why you were moving the date?
has anyone bought tickets/made travel arrangements?
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
I got married around that time in my last pregnancy. I didnt mind having a big belly but I was so tired. If I could go back and do it again I would of pushed it back or moved it a year later.
In the end we had a beautiful wedding, and my dress was cute and the photographer did a decent job of trying to hide my bump. In the end it is up to you two.
I would do it in May. I think at 18 weeks with the right dress it won't be obvious. The other thing is that I would be a lot happier spending the day in a formal dress and heels at 18 weeks than at 24. I think at age 35 no one is going to care about you being pregnant at your wedding, but still I get wanting your wedding day to be about your marriage and not your child. There will be plenty of time to focus on the baby.
It is a little bit of a bummer to have mothers day, your birthday and aniversery all close together, but that wouldn't be that big a deal to me. I would focus on which day you think will be the most fun for you.
PP makes a great point. The further along you get, the more uncomfortable you'll be. 2nd trimester is the easiest by far, so you might want to do it then.
if it were me, i would also have a small wedding as soon as possible. i wouldnt want to look pregnant in my pictures either.
this situation happened to me when i became pregnant with DD. we ended up having a smaller wedding early, and it worked out great, and same as you, it put my birthday, wedding anniversary, and valentines day within 2 weeks of eachother. but actually, it hasnt been so bad, we just do one big celebration and its actually kind of nice that way.
She is considered high risk and is not comfortable disclosing her pregnancy early. She stated she wants to wait until 18 weeks. I don't think it is an issue of her not knowing how to tell people.
Thanks. Ya, wedding or no wedding we wont be telling anyone till around May.
Sigh..I suppose it all boils down to how I'd feel but I've never been prego before and I'm not sure I'd feel better at 18 weeks vs. 24 weeks? No way to tell I suppose. I'll have to make a blind choice.
To me, a guy who is perfectly willing to have no legal rights over his own child until some time in the distant future raises a lot of question marks in my mind...
A pretty picture in a pretty dress is so not worth the huge question marks that come from having a child before you are married (if you two are planning on...eventually...getting married). He won't have the right to make decisions for you in the hospital if you have pregnancy complications, he wouldn't have any automatic rights to see his child if you for whatever reason had long-term complications while giving birth that left you hospitalized post partum (think Bringing Home the Browns), you all will not receive spousal support if either of you are hurt or killed in the next year, etc.
In my opinion, when you decide to have a child, the needs and best interests of the child should absolutely come before all else. In this case, there are so many question marks that come from having a child without being married--especially since you are planning on doing it in the long term. Just go get married by the JOP before your child is born, and then have a big reception at some point in the future. But probably, by that time, you will realize that the money would would have spent on that big party is way better spent on things to enrich the life of your new litle one.
Again, to each her own. But I just don't get making such an important decision with so many legal ramifications just so that you can look hot in your wedding pictures some day.
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Patiently waiting for little brother!
I think you either posted this in the wrong place or are confused, none of this is my story.
Because to some people being married isn't that important. Some people can't legally get married. The world will not end if they are not married before their LO arrives.
CJ 05/29/2013
Thank you so much Jessica! This was music to my ears. I obviously knew what I wanted but some fears just got in the way. The minute i read this I knew. I cant wait to be married and just stop trying to rearrange everything just in case ill not feel well (which i cant predict) or not feel beautiful. That part is up to me!
June 22nd here We come!!