NBR and I very "sensitive" subject.
Neary2011
member
My name is Rebecca and I am new mother of a 3 month old daughter and I really need to be able to talk to someone, someone that understands and can give me some advice.
When I was about 8 or 9 my brother sexual abused me several different times and now that I am married it is really messing with my marriage and sex life. Sexual intercourse from the very begining was very very very painful for me, and even after having a vaginal delivery sex is still painful and to be honest it is more painful, and with that being said, my husband and I don't have it very often and my husband also told me that when I tell him to stop because it's hurting me, he told me that turns him off and that makes me feel ever worst about the whole thing, I want to be able to enjoy sex with my husband, it is something that both he and I deserve.
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Re: NBR and I very "sensitive" subject.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I think your best solution is to talk to a professional. They can give you advice about dealing with you past and tips on making your sex life better. It will be lasting advice too that can make you feel closer to your husband than ever. GL!
'I loved you for a thousand years and I will love you for a thousand more'
I went through a traumatic experience as a teen and it took a while and counseling for me to be able to come to terms emotionally with it and enjoy a healthy sex life again. It's very brave of you to come forward and share your experience. I would strongly recommend 2 things - 1. as others have mentioned, finding a therapist and get counseling to handle the emotional aspect and 2. talk to your Ob/Gyn as well to make sure there isn't a health issue as well.
DH and I have been together between dating and marriage for 16 years. I didn't have any issues with sex being unusually painful for the first 3-4 years of our relationship, nor was it an issue w/ past partners. We decided to abstain from intercourse for what ended up being about a year while we were working out other issues in our dating relationship to decide on marriage, and when we resumed, it was suddenly a lot more physically painful than it used to be. I thought it might have just been from not having done it in a long time, but it continued to be problematic for years. My doctor suggested it might be a reaction to latex, so we switched contraceptives, used more lube, and just lived with it. Years later, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a huge amount of adhesions and scar tissue in my pelvis. After having the adhesions removed surgically, the first time we had sex afterwards, I felt no pain at all. I had no idea that it was the endo that was making sex physically painful. I wish I hadn't just ignored the discomfort and felt like I had to just settle with pain for nearly a decade!
This.
And I understand that it can be frustrating for your H, but telling you that it turns him off because you've asked him to stop is not okay either. What does he expect you to do? Weather through it and be in pain? No. It's your body, and you can tell your H to stop when you want. I wouldn't have sex with someone that made me feel guilty even if it didn't hurt.
Thank you and I will check out that website!
Thank you for suggestions!