wwyd - how soon can baby attend group functions?
CBomback
member
I am due March 10, and my DR plans to induce 1 week later if the baby hasn't come yet. March 23rd is my first nephew's Bar Mitzvah. Since this is a major major event for our family, our plan was to attend the service in the morning with the baby if we weren't still in the hospital for any reason, but probably miss out on the party, which is late into the evening. BIL/SIL totally understand, and they know that we're really going to be playing this my ear. At any rate, we hope that our presence with the new baby will not take any attention away from our nephew, especially since we don't want many people getting too close to baby before she has had any vaccines.
I just found out that MIL has claimed "baby's first" Passover (we live close to both sets of parents), which I was OK with until I found out that Passover is the monday after the bar mitzvah. It's usually in April. That's 2 weeks after our due date! I could see making a special effort for a bar mitzvah, which is a once in a lifetime event, but passover happens every year! What's worse is that our pediatrician, who works with FIL in his practice, warned us to keep the baby away from the other cousins (8 of them) for as long as possible since they are all in school and could be carrying tons of germs, and they will all be there trying to touch the baby. There's going to be about 25 people total, and I am getting VERY anxious about it.
Is anyone else being expected to attend family functions so soon after delivery? WWYD?
Re: wwyd - how soon can baby attend group functions?
With DS (born in August) we were out a couple days after he was born (supermarket, restaurant, church, etc). We avoided functions for 2 months where people/family would be wanting to hold baby, especially when I wasn't comfortable telling them to wash their hands and not touch/kiss babies face.
This time we plan to be a bit more conservative since it's the end of flu season. I would probably do the same as you plan - attend the service and skip the party. As for Passover, it would depend on how many people and how comfortable you are telling them to back off if needed.
Regardless of your decision, I would recommend being tentative to/for everything. You and baby are most important and should do what you are comfortable with and makes you happy and that may change day to day.
I think doing the Bar Mitzvah service and not the party is a good compromise. People won't be as apt to hold LO during the service, you could even make sure to show up just before it starts and try to scoot out pretty quickly without have to introduce the baby to everyone.
Passover with 25 people though? I would tell them you just don't feel comfortable with it, especially with 8 school aged kids. I skipped out on a few family things that came up really soon after my DD was born. Some I made an appearance and left her home with my husband and others I just skipped altogether. With a March due date I feel like it's still cold/flu season and would play it safe. Not worth having a sick newborn to make your family happy.
I am really lax about stuff like this so I would say that you should go. I would skip the party in the evening like you said but you can bring a newborn in a carseat to a religious service and keep the baby in the infant carseat covered with a blanket and just be strict about not letting people touch the baby/get too close. With both of my kids we were back at church like a week or two after delivery- DS was born March 3rd, DD Nov 28th so definitely cold/flu season both times and neither kid got sick as newborns.
Another option is to wear the baby in a baby carrier like the moby- when a newborn is wrapped up in a moby wrap they are REALLY covered up and since the baby will be against your body it automatically helps people keep their distance (since they have to touch your body to touch the baby vs. a baby in a seat, kwim?). Either way just do what you are comfortable with- I wouldn't commit to anything now, tell them that you will have to let them know when the time comes and it just depends on how you and baby are feeling. I also have had 2 super easy labors and recoveries and felt great pretty quickly, not everyone bounces back so quickly so you might still be pretty sore, tired, etc. at 2 weeks pp.
My LO will not be at Passover this year. My 15 month old coughs someone's cold when she was 4 weeks and ended up in the hospital for five days. Keep the baby away from kids -- it is the safest course of action.
I totally see the difference. At the supermarket/church/errands, there are strangers who will not be coming up to you or the baby asking to kiss her, hold her, hug her, etc. At a family function, I would think everyone would expect to hold her.
I'm pretty lax about these things too. I would go if you feel up to it, but if you don't for any reason, then don't.
DS was 7 days old on his first Christmas. We went to mass on x-mas eve, my family's house that nigh, my mom's the next morning and my IL's that night. I'm playing it by ear with this LO since Easter will be about 2 weeks after he is born. If I'm up to it, we'll go to church and my IL's. If I'm not feeling it, we'll just go to my IL's.
My little man at 0-1-2