There is a woman at my work due two weeks after I am and she is very opinionated. She has a little boy at home and she is usually very nice so it doesn't bother me, but lately she has been getting to me. She is done working on my due date, which is great for her, but we can't afford it so I am working until I go into labor. She keeps telling me how miserable I will be those last few weeks. Great...thanks...
But even worse, she found out that I am birthing at the birth center across the street from our hospital, and she must have some knowledge about it because she also knew that it meant I will be taking LO home within 8-12 hours after her birth. Insurance doesn't cover staying beyond that, and part of people's attraction to the birth center is that they get to leave with LO and stay in their own bed that night. The midwives come do a home visit the next day and LO also sees a pediatrician the day after that. My co-worker keeps telling me that it is a really bad idea to take LO home that quickly, and that instead, I should go across the street when I leave the center and check in at the hospital because I won't be ready to be taking care of a newborn at home. I am a FTM so I expressed this concern to the midwives and they told me many FTMs take their LOs home and they are just fine and they are very happy to be home. I am GBS positive to if I went to the hospital with LO we would have to stay for 2 days minimum based on their requirements. I am starting to second guess my birth plan, but ultimately I trust my midwives more than this woman...I am just wondering if STMs have any experience that would either make them want to go home with LO right away or stay.
Re: Taking Baby Home Within Hours of Birth
This. Don't let her instill fear in you. You can do it!
it's pretty ridiculous how our society has convinced women they don't have the capacity to birth or care for our own children. yeesh.
when we did the tour of our hospital (which has a birthing center/is midwife friendly), i asked how SOON we could leave after birth (barring complications, obviously) and basically the answer was that if you and baby are fine, you can leave pretty much within a few hours. a couple across the room from us looked HORRIFIED that anybody would want to do this and i cracked up because they looked soooo aghast. different strokes for different folks!
Mom to Ava 12.21.04 and Austin 10.22.06
BFP 12/5/11...natural m/c 12/23/11
At my hospital the nurses didn't do much to help out, really. We roomed in from day 1 and got no sleep because they come to check on you all the time.
As long as someone is checking you and the pediatrician will be by to monitor things like bili levels the next day, you're fine.
Enjoy actually maybe getting a little bit of sleep in your own bed before that newborn wakes up for real and keeps you busy from then on!
This is a great point and something I am nervous about! I will see an LC at the center immediately following birth and the MW will work on it with me at my house. However, I did joing La Leche League and started attending meetings so I can call them in case of an emergency, and I also have the home number of the LC who works at the birthing center who will also see me in the case of an emergency, so hopefully i am as prepared as I am going to get for this part, but it still scares me to death!
I want to begin by making it very clear that I think there is nothing wrong with your plan and fully believe that you, and most other mothers, are capable of taking the baby home hours after the birth.
My personal experience was that the hospital stay was a much needed adjustment period. After dd was born I really appreciated the lactation help, the nurses concern, the fact that meals were easy for dh to obtain for us, and a Dr. being just down the hall if I had any concerns with the baby. I was able to relax in an environment where there was absolutly nothing for me to be responsible for other than getting my strength back and caring for my newborn. I didn't have to consider that there were dishes in the next room to be washed or anything else. For those 2 days it was all about me and my baby and it was a very calming experience for me. As soon as I left the hospital I panicked...like literally as soon as we got in the car. Now I did fine, and I know I had some baby blues, but I wanted to go back to the hospital so badly.
I by no means was not capable of doing it from home immediatly, I just really did find value in the hospital stay. That may be where your co-worker is coming from when she says what she says to you. She just may not get that she's only one side of the spectrum, I'm sure she's only trying to help guide you (if not maybe being a little to pushy about her opinion).
I'm planning to leave the hospital ASAP when LO is born. My midwife said assuming everything looks good with LO and myself we should be fine to go within 8 hours though a normal stay here is more in the range of 3-4 days. I think you should do what makes you most comfortable and definitely ignore that lady...
My mom had me at home (unplanned homebirth) and never went to the hospital because we were both fine and she saw no real reason to go in. Everything was fine and she obviously took me to a pediatrician for all th necessary checkups that they usually do at the hospital.
ETA: My plan this time is influenced by the fact that my midwife will do daily checkups at home for the first week or two after I go home and continue to come as often as I need the first six weeks PP. This is all covered by my social healthcare and is a pretty big factor in wanting to go home right away. I know I will have support for caring for LO and help with BFing and all that good stuff. So I'm still going to be receiving care.