Off topic, but a thanks...

polyhymnia23 · January 2013

Hi ladies-

I just had to post saying thank you. Thank you for being some welcoming and always so awesome and open with your answers. I was "browsing" on the tttc board and they are just bullies. They actually tell people they are "idiots" and "stupid" just because "they" (the people on the board) do not believe that the poster is having trouble. I think the board needs to be renamed "12 months and still trouble trying to conceive" and it should come with a disclaimer stating "You might be bullied, abused and yelled at, so poster beware."

I could never post on that board and I am thrilled that I don't have to. You girls are just wonderful.

mollykelley · January 2013

I love our LGBT Parenting board too! On this board you will never see STFU and GTFO which are daily on TTTC. We even have straight people come in here and ask questions from time to time and we are happy to answer their questions!

I can't say enough though about reading on the other boards. Sometimes the experienced ladies in TTTC have the exact issue that I'm having and I follow their threads to see how their experience applies to me.

Good luck and feel free to ask anything here!

karah0011 · January 2013

This is basically the only board that I can feel comfortable on as well. There are some bullies on the bump!!! Just plain rude! So yes, thank you from me as well!

mollykelley · January 2013

I post on TTTC, you just have to follow their rules if you want answers! (i.e. put all your data in siggy, give an intro on the board before you post anything, no drive-by BFPs, etc.) I just posted a follow up question on TTTC on Manada's post and I'm hoping to get some answers!

Manada · January 2013

It's so true.

I post on TTTC (as mentioned by MollyKelley!), but I am always a little relieved when my (very honest!) questions are received well there.... They do have a TON of experience there, and good words of wisdom to share, but there's definitely a culture of social 'rules' to observe.

I love this board too. It's nice to have a small community online to turn to...

2moms2twins · January 2013

have you seen the BABY NAME BOARD... its the same they rip people to shreds about names.

polyhymnia23 · January 2013

I have to say that although they may be knowledgeable, I could never ask a question and fear whether or not someone is going to bully me and sit behind an anonymous screen name and computer while they do it. It's so sad because maybe they CAN help people and maybe someone who has only had trouble for 8 months could give them helpful advice? It's just sad.

I haven't gone to the baby name board....I guess I won't! I literally only come to the LGBT board

Maybe that's why there is 0% child abuse among the gay/lesbian community? LGBT breed love not hate.

polyhymnia23 · January 2013

I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community.

AmyRehs · January 2013

I love this board...I don't deal well with the bullies! Thanks for always being so kind guys!

Clynn82au · January 2013

polyhymnia23:

I have to say that although they may be knowledgeable, I could never ask a question and fear whether or not someone is going to bully me and sit behind an anonymous screen name and computer while they do it. It's so sad because maybe they CAN help people and maybe someone who has only had trouble for 8 months could give them helpful advice? It's just sad.

I haven't gone to the baby name board....I guess I won't! I literally only come to the LGBT board

Maybe that's why there is 0% child abuse among the gay/lesbian community? LGBT breed love not hate.

0% huh? "Studies" show all sorts of things.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068731/Gay-couple-accused-abusing-adopted-sons.html

https://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/americas/united-states/120209/gay-sex-pornography-child-abuse-surrogacy-russia

Not trying to start anything but maybe you should really research these "studies" before you say things like that.

Two*True · January 2013

I posted on TTTC when TTC and I wasn't even having trouble. I was one of the early LGBT posters going the RE route so at the time the TTTC board made sense. I just introduced myself, followed the 'feel' of their board and it was fine. They were all very supportive and welcoming even thought I wasn't an IF lady.

Manada · January 2013

polyhymnia23:
I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community.

I've seen those studies, and they're pretty great to say that there is very little to no child abuse among LGBT families - but I won't say that it's absolutely ZERO. As a social worker I think we have to be careful about those declarations of any community, because it can silence and hurt those very few people who DO experience abuse in their homes... and that can (and does) happen in any community.

2brides · January 2013

Manada:
polyhymnia23:
I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community.
I've seen those studies, and they're pretty great to say that there is very little to no child abuse among LGBT families - but I won't say that it's absolutely ZERO. As a social worker I think we have to be careful about those declarations of any community, because it can silence and hurt those very few people who DO experience abuse in their homes... and that can (and does) happen in any community.

Ditto. I am also a Social Worker (pediatric) and have made several reports to CPS re: abuse/neglect from GLBT families.

Not all GLBT families spend months/years TTC - children come into GLBT relationships in all sorts of ways and not all of those children end up in safe/loving homes. Sad reality.

Two*True · January 2013

polyhymnia23:
I was stating a fact, not implying anything. There are studies to prove that there is 0% child abuse found in the LGBT community.

I think you're referring to the NLLFS study which is used for a lot of LGBT stuff because it's the longest running study of its kind. The study is great and all, but we're only talking about 78 teens. So to say that there is 0% in the community as a whole is a big stretch. Of course there is abuse among the community, there is every community. Ours just tends to have very very low statistics compared to others.

clairmeij · January 2013

I agree, this is a really friendly peace-loving board, and I love it. I'm glad that its recognized because I think it is a testament to the precedent that the longer standing ladies put in here. I feel lucky to have been able to inherit and be a part of a board like this!

I'm not convinced by the stats that you quote re child abuse in LGBT homes though. I would like to believe it is lower than many homes with unwanted children, but 0% seems to be wishful thinking.

hlke · January 2013

Well, I'm sorry this got a bit out of hand. I don't think the OP was claiming any of the TTTC ladies are going to be child abuser. I think it was an ironic comment taken the wrong way.

I post on TTTC, but I'll admit I have a rough time there. People's emotions run really high and the board culture is not welcoming. There are regular posters who call people stupid all the time. And honestly, the board name should reflect that it's an IF board for people who haven't moved on to IVF. I'd prefer TTTC 12+ months.

polyhymnia23 · January 2013

hlke:
Well, I'm sorry this got a bit out of hand. I don't think the OP was claiming any of the TTTC ladies are going to be child abuser. I think it was an ironic comment taken the wrong way.
I post on TTTC, but I'll admit I have a rough time there. People's emotions run really high and the board culture is not welcoming. There are regular posters who call people stupid all the time. And honestly, the board name should reflect that it's an IF board for people who haven't moved on to IVF. I'd prefer TTTC 12+ months.

Thank you! You are correct: I never stated or implied that any one was an abuser and it was taken the wrong way.

Off topic, but a thanks...

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