August 2013 Moms
yayamag
member
Baby name rant
yayamag
member
So I have always dreamed of naming my daughter after me, not necessarily for me but because I genuinely love my name. I grew up loving my name... Yajaira. I had talked to the father and he originally said he was on board, then he said maybe as a middle name and now he doesn't seem to really like it. He thinks it's too confusing to have the mother and daughter have the same name. I'm so upset because I really don't have another name in mind. Since I was a kid I knew it was what I was going to name my daughter. It just sucks that because I am a woman it's too confusing but if it's a boy and he wants to name him after him there wouldn't be an issue. I just had my heart set on it.
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Re: Baby name rant
Well as far as I am concerned, if you guys are not together then he has less say in the babys name.
That does sound like kind of a double standard to me. I don't think it would be confusing, just uncommon. I don't know what type of advice I can give you, but that does kinda suck.
also if it were me, I'd probably just make it the middle name....it's both of your baby so you should find something you both agree on. That's how I would see it at least. Anyone who has had their heart set on a certain name for years runs the risk of their future baby daddy /mama not liking that name
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Def a double standard, but it is what it is I guess. The truth is you have a long time before you had to decide so I wouldnt be heartbroken yet. I think we went through at least 4 names before we finally settled on one. FWIW, i think it is a beautiful name. We have a tradition in our family of the first name of parent being the middle name of child- I think its nice.
Be blunt with him. Tell him that this name is really important to you and that you are willing to compromise by moving it to the middle, but now it is time for him to compromise and recognize that it is your baby, too.
Is he going to coparent with you? If so, I think it's important for you both to give a little and agree on the name. If he's not in the picture long term, I think your opinion matters more.
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If this was is a boy, would you want him to have the same name as your ex-boyfriend? I wouldn't. So maybe that is where he is coming from?
I don't like using "legacy" names at all, girl or boy. I think middle names are a great way to honor someone. It sounds like this is a compromise the father may be willing to make and you may have to compromise, as well.
If you have a good relationship, and want it to stay that way, I wouldn't insist on a first name he really doesn't want to use. You wouldn't want him to do that to you, right?
Maybe you'll have a boy and this will be a non-issue. Either way, give your child his/her own name. Let them be their own person. There has to be one other name you can find and love.
This for the first name. With that said, maybe you can ask him for his suggestions and see if you can come to common ground.
Baby C - 08.23.13
This. 100% this. Finding a first AND middle name you both agree on is hard enough. A good thing is that as long as he compromises with you, then you will only have to find one name, the first name.
That's insane.
Just because a couple isn't married does not mean the father can't and shouldn't have a say on a something as simple as a baby's name. It sounds like he is involved thus far and not a dead beat guy who is just along for the ride.
I say to OP, ask him what his reservations are and also see if you can compromise on a variation of the name or using it as a middle name.