March 2013 Moms
tilsonc
member
Vent!! Am I crazy?
tilsonc
member
First my husband invited people over to our house on Saturday for a dinner party without running it by me first. When I asked him about it he goes, I thought you like having people over for dinner? OK, fine. I just have to go with it since he already invited everyone over. One of the couples has a new baby and he suggested I set up the toys and stuff (pack and play and mamaroo, ect) for their baby to use while they are at our house. I think our baby should be the first to use their new stuff. Our baby is not here yet so a lot of this stuff is still in boxes. He thinks I am crazy that I want our baby to be the first one to use her new stuff. Am I crazy or is this normal? What would you do?
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Re: Vent!! Am I crazy?
I don't think you're crazy. I would feel the same way.
Maybe the couple with the new baby can bring their own PnP or whatnot? Surely they're used to taking their baby with them by now (unless he or she is REALLY new) and they probably already plan for stuff like that. I also can't imagine that they would expect you to put out all of your baby stuff for them.
Have DH tell them that they're welcome to come over but will need to bring their own baby necessities.
BFP #1 09/02/11 M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13
SS - age 12...SD - age 8...DS - 13 mos.
Perhaps a little crazy, but understandably so. There's an emotional attachment to those things that I bet your DH just can't understand. You spent a lot of time picking out these items with your LO in mind.
I'd considering having the playpen handy just in case the guests absolutely need something. Playpens are quick and easy to set up, but I wouldn't pull it out and have it in view and set up. I would expect the parents to be prepared to juggle their own LO for the entire evening, mostly because that's what I would prepare for when going to a friend's house.
ETA: I say playpen, probably because I don't like the things, so I can't imagine an emotional attachment to them. Heck, I only owned a second hand one as a "just in case" and it spent 99% of the time in the closet untouched.
I would have felt the exact same way, and maybe it's a little silly to be upset at the idea of your baby not being the first to use it etc, but it's your baby and your stuff, you can do what you want! I would be annoyed at just the extra work of having to get all the baby stuff out and set up now though.
Do you know this mom well? I wouldn't expect someone to have that kind of stuff ready for me to use, so I wonder if she would? Maybe your husband just thought it was a good idea, but she could be planning to bring her own new baby stuff along and might be just as uncomfortable with using someone else's stuff.
I think it is a little unreasonable for him to expect you to unpack a bunch of new stuff for this baby to use on top of asking you to prepare for a dinner party without asking you first.
That being said, I have bought toys (even before I was pregnant) for "our kids in the future" and have brought them out for friends' kids to play with. When a dear friend came over and forgot her portable high chair, I did pull out my brand new one for her daughter to use. I did have a little pang about my LO not being the first to use it, but I do plan on teaching him how to share, so I guess it was his first lesson in that.
But if it was something that could get gross (my high chair is all hard plastic from IKEA, so easy to clean) like fabric, I'd be less likely to offer it.
PS- I think you should made DH do the shopping AND the cleaning for this dinner party while you put your feet up, and you should just do the cooking. Just sayin'
I have let other use a few of my baby;s things already out of need, and ease but I was the one to offer that, my husband did NOT do it for me with out asking first....he know how protective I am.
Exactly this!!