February 2013 Moms
Myzticsunshine
member
On my own
Myzticsunshine
member
Havnt checked the forums in a while. My s/o kept ignoring and yelling at me and partying excessively, and then some girl he'd been flirting with claimed he cheated on me with her when we got into our last huge fight. So I packed up everything including the crib and now I'm in the process of figuring out where to go once I have the bby while I crash at my grandmas.
He claims he didn't cheat but either way things were pretty bad, and he even thinks a break is necessary. Even though this is the worst time to do it in my opinion. Like couldn't you have gone nuts before I got prego or something?
Lol but you know, he resents me for keeping it anyways, even though he said he'd support me. So I guess that sort of thing doesn't matter to him.
The hormones are making this so hard to deal with because I'm like bi polar. One minute I'm all "girl power" and ready to move on" the next I'm crying and driving by his house because some part of me just can't quite let go.
He claims he didn't cheat but either way things were pretty bad, and he even thinks a break is necessary. Even though this is the worst time to do it in my opinion. Like couldn't you have gone nuts before I got prego or something?
Lol but you know, he resents me for keeping it anyways, even though he said he'd support me. So I guess that sort of thing doesn't matter to him.
The hormones are making this so hard to deal with because I'm like bi polar. One minute I'm all "girl power" and ready to move on" the next I'm crying and driving by his house because some part of me just can't quite let go.
~~** I Love My Boys 
**~~
**~~
This discussion has been closed.
Re: On my own
First of all, I'm very sorry. My H and I separated early into my pregnancy, so I can understand how scary and overwhelming everything seems.
Try to not focus on it right now. For me anyway, it's best to not dwell on something. Just give it time
Everything will get easier!
Feel free to reach out if you need to talk
ETA: I also want to say that with those extra hormones, it's normal to be like that and he has understand that.
I'm sorry. It sounds like you're doing what is best for you and the baby, and that's what matters.
FWIW, my first husband and I separated and I was completely not pregnant, and I still felt bipolar...I think that's probably totally normal and to be expected (though I'm sure pregnancy hormones aren't making it any better)!
Hang in there!
Let go. No, this is not the worst time for this to happen. You could've delivered already, and LO could've been around all the fighting, and if he's abusive in any way, there is no telling what would happen when he's around a baby.
I know it's hard for you, but you seem to be in love with who he was pretending to be, not who he truly is. His behavior can change (saying he will support you, apologizing to you), but his personality will never change, and his personality just happens to suck. Do you think you deserve to be around that? Even more, do you think your LO deserves to be around that? Absolutely not.
Good for you for packing up and leaving. I'm so, so glad you didn't stay. However, I will add that I hope the real reason that you left was because of his abusive, selfish antics, and not because you heard he cheated. You seemed to have been dealing with how he treats you, so why are you up and leaving now? The abuse is a much bigger issue than cheating. Let's say you found out it wasn't true. Would you go back? The abuse will still be there regardless of if he cheated or not. He seems like a scary, explosive, selfish person who is not ready to grow up. You and your LO need to move forward, not be dragged down by a boy who is clearly not ready to be a father. Good luck in your decisions. You are doing the right thing.
All of this. OP, I'm glad you have left and I hope you stay gone. Print out the above, laminate it, and re-read when you need a reminder of why it's a good thing you've left. Things will be rough in the beginning, but in the long run, you are doing the best thing for you and your baby.
You don't need him. He's obviously an ass. You deserve someone WAY better than that. Men are half the baby making process, and I'm sorry, but even if it was a surprise/accident, man up and support your SO.
Hang in there. Sorry this had to happen...
Good for you!!!! I think I have told you before that once upon a time I left a guy who behaved a lot like yours does. Although it took me a long time to stop looking back, once I did finally move on, my life got a million times better.
Just know that right now, you don't have to see the end of the road, just the next step. Heck, if you did see the end of the road right now, you would never believe how good it can be anyway. I promise. I have been there. It's not quick or easy but every little movement in the right direction adds up.
I'm really impressed you had the strength to do this. Keep it up, one teeny bit at a time if needed.
Think of this kind of starting over like cleaning out a storage unit: the mess gets way bigger and way worse when you first start pulling junk out of it, but that's the only way to get it into shape. It can't look "all better" instantly... As long as you keep working, you'll get there!
Did I say GOOD FOR YOU yet???
Agree with all PP. Good for you for making a change that will wind up being in everyone's best interest- specifically the baby's. Sounds like you were having problems even before this alleged cheating (which I agree is hopefully not the sole reason for your decision), so it's probably the right decision.
I spent 5 years with someone who, while I'll always love in a way, did nothing but suck the life out of me with constant negativity. When we split (the day after my 30th birthday BTW), I thought I was going to be alone forever and was all despondent. Well, I forced myself to be positive and look to the future with hope and excitement. 7 months later I went on my last first date with the man I'm married to now. I couldn't have imagined how happy I could be. Try and focus on making YOURSELF a whole person and a good mommy. Everything else will fall into place!
T&P for you and your family!
I am really sorry you are going through all of this right now. Just make sure to take care of yourself and the baby right now. Stay strong and don't ever feel the need to respond to him immediately. Put thought into things like you put thought into leaving ... I know it was hard for you, but it was the best thing for you right now.
This. Good ridance to him. It'll be hard but I promise it gets better.
you can do it before LO is born, at least in CA you can.
So sorry you have to go through this right now, but it's NEVER easy so maybe it's better that it happens before the baby is actually born. He sounds like too much drama... just try to stay positive and look forward to your future (which is improving now you are not in a relationship with that mess). Trust me, there are way better men out there. I was in a relationship for 8 years (married for 3 of them) with an unhappy drama person and finally at age 28 we split. At that time I had no idea if I would ever find love or get married again, I think I was depressed for a few months, or felt like a mid-life crisis or something where I just didn't feel like myself for a while. Needless to say, about 9 months later I met my current husband and I'm very happy to report that it was a big upgrade to finally find "the one." It will happen to you too, I am sure of it. Just try to focus on the positive as much as possible right now. And don't forget to file for child support.
Also, since I was just at child birth prep class last night and they mentioned baby blues...be aware if you are feeling especially down after the birth and feel free to discuss it with your dr to get some support.
I am so sorry this is happening to you! I have been in your shoes, though!!! I wasn't quite as far along though. 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant with DD#1, her sperm donor walked out of my life and disappeared. I haven't seen or heard from him in 6 years. He doesn't even know she is a she. He has had zero contact-- which truly is for the best. I was in the middle of plotting my exit strategy from his abusive relationship when I found out I was prego.
Right now, just take care of you. Give yourself time to process. Take advantage of whatever help is offered your direction, you will need it for a while. Good luck!