Let me start by saying...I am thrilled beyond belief that all test have come back positive. I had additional bloodwork done because I am 37 and my risk for trisomy disorders was not that reduced after the 13 week screening. So everything is GREAT.
However, I feel like an emotional wreck and I am sitting in my office trying hard not to cry. The geneticist came on the phone...gave me the results and said you are having a boy. Apparently, this additional blood test determines sex because it is literally looking at chromosomes.
So why do I feel sooooo guilty that I am crying because it is not the little girl I wanted? I have three nephews, I wanted something different, I LOVE pink and I am obsessed with little girl stuff.
Is it ok to be disappointed? How do I stop feeling this way? Maybe I should go to Target after work and get some cute biy things to cheer me up?
I would love any advice. All my friends had thei kids 10 years ago and aren't really good at this stuff.
Re: Doctor revealed sex and I am sad...
Ah yes, or 3T or IF boards.
Eta: seriously not trying to be snarky. I think checking out all these boards will help to put things into perspective
TTC since 3/12
High LH/FSH Ratio 8/12
DX with PCOS 11/12
Clomid 50mg - 19.5mm Follie - Trigger + TI = BFP! 11/12
EDD August 11, 2013
So true and once you hit your third tri, you won't even care if its a boy or girl. You just want them to come out healthy over everything.
Considering your age i think that you should be thankful that you were able to conceive a healthy baby. That being said, you wanted a girl and got a boy and there is no changing that. I can promise you that instead of tutus and dance lessons you will fall in love with toy trucks and work boots faster than you could ever imagine. When you see that baby for the first time all of your thoughts of little girls will disappear and you will love this little boy! I think, if this is going to be your only child, that no matter what it was you would be a little sad that it wasnt the other sex because its human nature to want what you cant have and to wonder what kind of mom you would be if it were a girl. Stay positive and love this little guy!
If it helps, I was sure DS was DD, as was DH. When they announced we had a boy, we were shocked. I actually had guilt over it and that I, obviously, wanted a girl (#18&)-1 % &; 3$1 "'41-3_ % 3$%?: % +&?314 ;( "'41-3 3" #1 & 6%2'). I am so happy it was a boy first though. It turns out someone knew better than me With DD, I thought she was going to be a boy and spent my pregnancygearing up for all the positives of 2 boys. While I was thrilled when they said we had a girl, I had to find the positives for that relationship and let go of the ones I expected. I was always happy, but I found out when baby was here, so I think it was easier having baby in my arms. Good luck - go find something adorably boy.
Thanks Kitten 80 and others. You are all right and it was fleeting. Just being stuck in the office with no one to talk to made it sort of hard. [My office is horrible]. I do have a million things to be thankful for and I am everyday. Emotionally though, thanks to raging hormones...I could not help my reaction.
I am headed to target for retail therapy which always works for me. Now, I am 4 weeks ahead of time on knowing whether to buy blue or pink! That is a total bonus!
You know some people have to post their first post at sometime.... soooo just because it's her first doesn't mean that she's automatically an MUD. Give the lady a little bit of slack for being honest and trying to get some help/support. I get people are going to disagree, but I feel like people are called out for being MUD a little too quickly around here.
Im lurking because TB is slow
I had a touch of disappointment when I found it was a boy. I didnt even think I cared until I found out. Some pluses about a little boy.
If I had a little girl, I wouldnt have a little man calling me mom in his tiny little boy voice that melts my heart
I have this weird grandeur about raising a man. I mean, not everybody gets to do it and how wonderful to see your little boy grow into this big hunk who still loves you like when he was little.
You can do a little boy's hair way before a little girl's.
Sweatshirts!
For me, it was mostly a "cute" thing. Little boy stuff isnt cutesy to me. My guy had reflux so bad he basically wore a receiving blanket his first few months, so girl or boy, my LO wouldnt have been wearing anything cute. I remember dressing him up to go out to dinner for the first time in his little matching socks and outfit. He was so sweet and cooing at everybody. He will melt your heart. Dont worry.
Married: December 19, 2009
This is my third and I have 2 boys. All the people saying "I hope it's a girl" to me are making me want to punch them. I just feel blessed to have 2 amazing boys and hopefully another healthy baby inside me.
I really don't understand when parents are disappointed. I mean, you do know when you set out to have a child, there's a 50/50 chance you with have either sex, right? Or is that not common knowledge?
I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I just think this kind of attitude is a slap in the face to all the people that would kill for a healthy baby. That said, I hope you come to terms soon with this and can start feeling incredibly happy and blessed about the life you're holding in your hands instead of "crying at your desk". It just seems a little ungrateful to me. Sorry.
Have fun at Target, it sounds like you know just what you need. :
Make a pregnancy ticker
I wanted a girl so badly for my first. Obviously, that didn't happen.
Now? Should fate never "give" me a daughter, I honestly would not care because I know what it's like to share a bond like no other with your child, regardless of what is between their legs.
First, congrats on your healthy baby. As far as your disappointment with a boy, all of that will fade away when you're holding him in your arms. As a FTM, of course, I haven't experienced this first hand, but it's the truth.
Go buy some little boy things. It may help create some excitement for you.
EDD 07/29/2017
Don't let yourself feel worse than you already feel by listening to snarky comments from people. This will pass and you will be more than excited for the arrival of your son.
Exactly! I get your point and really I don't get why there were so many comments about looking at it in perspective. I guess you are just a bit sensitive on everything, I almost cry for nothing all the time and it's not because I am truly sad but because my hormones are crazzzy!
I know you'll love this LO as much as if he was a girl and 20 years from now you'll laugh at this 'disappointment'.
Congrats on your healthy baby!!
You know, I think it's completely possible to be happy and disappointed all at the same time; especially when pregnant.
It's okay to be disappointed, it's okay to feel a loss of opportunity, but at the same time remembering that baby is healthy and that it's a little person who will soon be the most amazing thing you've ever seen.
I was a little disappointed that I'm having another boy, I love my son and wanted the chance to experience parenting a boy and a girl, at the same time; I love this baby and am so thankful that I get to have another child regardless of it's gender.
Take the time to be sad and work through all your feelings, you'll find that after you've gone through it all you're okay with having a boy. After all, it's really hard to look at a tiny face that thinks you're the single most amazing woman on the earth and not love it and know it's absolutely perfect just the way it is.
It's okay to be disappointed.
And I hate the at-leasting that goes on in these posts. The people who are at-leasting this post better never EVER complain about anything ever in their life or feel sorry for themselves about something silly. Don't complain about traffic... some people are blind and can't drive. Don't complain about not having enough money to go on a vacation... some people are homeless.
It's normal to be a bit disappointed when you have to rewrite in your head what you thought your future was going to be.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes