I need a break.
ball.and.chain
member
I thought about doing this about 20 times in the last 5 weeks but I think it's finally time. I need to step away from this board for a while. At least a week, maybe a few months. I might still be on The Bump, on the IF or TTCAL boards, but I can't be here right now. The number of pregnant women here right now is crazy -- coming here is like walking into an OB's waiting room to chat with all the patients. I wouldn't torture myself like that in real life and it's time to stop doing it online.
I consider it major progress that I am no longer sad all the time, but most of my sadness has been replaced by anger. And since there's really no one responsible for my miscarriage, I'm angry at pregnant women for having what I don't have. I would love to be happy for you all, but I can't be right now. I'm mad every time you post about your pregnancies. I'm mad that it took you all less time than it's taken me, and that most of you haven't gone through a miscarriage to boot. I'm mad every time you hit a milestone I never made it to. This isn't healthy for me and it's not fair to you.
Some of you know how to find me if you want me. I hope to see the rest of you when I'm feeling more like a human being. Good luck to everyone.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Re: I need a break.
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
ball.and.chain you will be missed! Thank you for welcoming me to the board and always encouraging and supporting others. I will try to pass it on and I hope to see you back here again.
Loss is very difficult and it helps to relate with those who understand. Take good care of yourself and all my very best!
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
I, for one (of many), will miss your presence on this board. I hope that you are able to take care of yourself and your family in the time until we see you here again.
I wish you the very best in all your journeys.
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope it gets better for you soon.
If you're feeling up to keeping your toes in the LGBT boards' waters, you certainly are welcome to come hang out on the other board. There are pictures and a couple of tickers in some folk's siggies, but the conversation isn't pregnancy/ttc focused at all. PM me if you need info about how to find us.
Big ((hugs)).
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
This makes sense to me. I often come here hoping that this particular forum is something that isn't TTC. But it really is almost entirely "lesbians TTC"- there is very little discussion of any other choices, (ie. adoption, surrogacy) or of parenting that isn't about peeing on sticks and being inseminated. I get it- TTC is exciting and wonderful for folks when it works, and when it doesn't? Or when one miscarries? reading it feels like someone stabbing you in the eyes repeatedly.
Good luck in your healing.
Sorry, but this takes it a little too far. We have conversations about everything on this board. If the only people who post are the ones TTC or pregnant, the conversation will revolve around that. If you want to talk about something else, post and ask about it; don't lurk and expect it to come up. Many of the posters who are currently pregnant are longertime people myself included, and I think we have been very respectful of recent losses, particularly those of BC and kershnic I miss you, C, and hope you're healing and not posted nearly as much about our pregnancies as we normally would have. Which sucks in itself, honestly, because it should be ok for us to be ecstatic about our own pregnancies even as our hearts break for kershnic, BC, and others who have experienced losses. Many of us have also experienced losses, by the way, even if they're not common knowledge.
BC, I hope you can take care of yourself during this difficult time, and I hope to see you around these parts soon.
ETA TB hates my phone. Sorry about the lack of parentheses and other punctuation.
I also had to take a bump break except for AL boards after my loss I couldn't face talk of pregnancy or even parenting for a long while. I hope to see you back and celebrating soon. Until then Take Care.