I have been conflicted by this since the day I told my dad and step mom that I was pregnant.
My step mother and I have a very unhealthy relationship. It has been civil for the last 7 years (since my first half sister was born). To put it short, my dad and step mom have been together for 9 years. My mom and dad have been divorced for only 7 years. And my step mom used to be my mom's best friend.
My step mother was very excited when I told her the news and I appreciate it. However to me she has always been Kathy, I don't usual address her as my step mother but as my dad's wife. So the thought of my child calling her grandma makes me ill.
How do I tell her this? Or am I being irrational?
Re: My step mother is our LO's....
Is there something else that your child might call her besides Grandma? To my kids my mom is Maw Maw (southern thing), but my husbands step mother is GiGi. She actually likes being called GiGi so it works out for us, but I don't think I would want them to call her Grandma when my husband does not even refer to her as his mom.
I think your best bet is to figure out what you are going to call her (Gigi, Kathy, whatever) and then just start calling her that. I wouldn't make it into a discussion unless she brings it up.
My mother--who is too vain to allow herself to be called Grandma had her grandchildren call her "Cookie"
Idk if that is even an option....but if you are not comfortable with any name that is used for 'Grandmother' you might consider allowing another Term to be used....something that still sounds a bit affectionate and warm. This will allow you to stick to your guns....but still be able to keep the peace in the family.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I agree, it's very nice that she's excited for your family, but ultimately her role in it will be your choice. And also it will evolve as your family and baby grow.
My parents divorced when I was quite young and I inherited 2 step brothers when my dad remarried. Both Boys have families now of their own and one set calls my dad grandpa, while the other calls him Tim. In respect to my own babe, she will call my stepmom, who I call by name, grandma.
It will all be what it will be and hopefully for the sake of your sanity all stresses and dramas can be left aside! I know families and their politics can be difficult sometimes! Good luck