Beyond Devastated.

Re: Beyond Devastated.

• cislebride07

  January 2013

  I am so very sorry.  This happened to me just 2 months ago and it is incredibly devastating.  Please don't lose hope.  I want to believe that this can happen for all of us.  hang in there.

  Dx PCOS Three cycle of Clomid- BFN HSG- clear 6/09-Follistim and HCG IUI on 7/7/09 BFN 7/09- Follistim and Ovidrel IUI on 8/11/09 BFP! beta #1-342 beta #2-717 Joey was born on 5/5/10 Trying for #2 since 6/12 6/12- Gonal F and Ovidel IUI on 7/10. BFN 8/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel. IUI on 8/10. BFN 9/12- Gonal F and Ovidrel IUI BFN 10/22 Gonal F, Menopur, Ganirelex 11/4 trigger 11/6 ER 14R 10F 11/11 ET transferred one 4AA embryo beta 11/20! BFP Betas stop multiplying . m/c at 5 weeks moving on to FET if my numbers ever get back to 0!

  Report0 Reply
• nawlinsgrl member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry, Lauren.
  

  10/10: Married; 5/11: Dx: Blocked Fallopian Tube; 7/11: D&C/Hysteroscopy to remove polyp
  IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
  IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
   

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• DaisyZH member

  January 2013

  I am so very sorry (( Hugs ))

  
  

  }
  

  
  

  
  

   
  
   

  Report0 Reply
• ttcmbbaby

  January 2013

  I'm sooooo sorry for you!!!! I was really hoping for you because you number was higher than my first that didn't work out... I had a 34 first beta and a 4 second beta... Best of luck!!!

  
  TTC #2 since 2009 Have PCOS two close calls with letrozole and hcg trigger. Hoping 3rd time does the trick...

  Report0 Reply
• egsquared member

  January 2013

  I'm so so sorry.  I know how hard it is to keep having losses.  Big ((hugs)).

  TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d

  BFP #1 Chart
  

  
  

  TTC #2 since 6/11

  me=36 - low AMH, DH=38

  BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11

  BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12

  BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12

  BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12

  IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies

  BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• queenbone member

  January 2013

  ((BIG HUGS))
  

  Married 9-4-04

  
  

  ***PM me for my IF history***

  
  

  

  

  Report0 Reply
• SigmundsGirl

  January 2013

  I am so sorry. Huge hugs for you!

  Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
  18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
  BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10

  TTC #2 since Dec 2011
  BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12

  Report0 Reply
• 74dragonfly member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers yor way.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• kimberm0511 member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry. I hate hearing bad news. Don't lose hope!

  TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13

  Report0 Reply
• Jen071407 member

  January 2013

  I am so sorry.

  
  

  Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF

  TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation

   3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI

  2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI

  BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.

  NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 

  RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 

  IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 

  ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

  
  

   

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• laurid75 member

  January 2013

  I am so so sorry

  Report0 Reply
• jrhell

  January 2013

  I am so, so sorry. 

  Report0 Reply
• anitaflora member

  January 2013

  I am just sitting here shaking my head and heartbroken for you. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could do something. Please, please do what you need to to take care of yourself. Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for healing.

  dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010

  
  

   <dream 2> 12.2011

  
  

   2.10.12 : 4 weeks

  
  

  6.17.12 : 10 weeks

  
  

  10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days

  
  

  12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day

  
  

  4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days

  
  

  10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days

  
  

  4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day

  
  

  6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative

  
  

   </dream 2>

  
  

   resolve.org

  
  

  AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR
  
  
  

  "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"
  
  lyrics
  

  
  ***All always welcome!!***

  Report0 Reply
• flows912 member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry! Big hugs for you.

  
  MPZ born June 2011
  TTC #2 ... Cycle 1-3: IUI = BFN | Cycle 4: IVF ... canceled but 3 snow babies
  Cycle 5: FET .. BFP! | EDD - 3/15/2014
  

  Report0 Reply
• e74 member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry.  Big hugs!

  DS#1 born 9/23/06 

  Twins DS#2 and 3 born at 31 weeks, 3 days due to a short cervix on 8/2/13.

  Report0 Reply
• jeannaqueena member

  January 2013

  Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

  TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
  BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
  3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
  TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
  BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
  Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
  Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
  Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
  Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
  Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
  Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie

  Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home

  Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
  

  
  

  
  

  Jeanna's Motherhood Journey or Our Secret IVF Blog 

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Lauren79 member

  January 2013

  jeannaqueena:

  Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

  Thanks everyone. 

  Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

   I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

  If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

  Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

  I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

  I appreciate everyones support. 

  
  
  
  
  
  Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
  TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
  BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
  BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
  CP 11.09.12
  BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

  BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
   

  
  
  <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d0e64" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• TripMomma member

  January 2013

  Oh no I am so sorry...

  

  Xander, Hayden & Lily 5 1/2 and Jericho 3 My Blog!

  Report0 Reply
• KaramelSutra member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry

  ---

  The Mob Boss 
  Birth: 10lbs 11oz, 21.5 inches <> 1 mo: 14lbs 7oz, 23.5 inches2mo: 18lbs 15oz, 25.5 inches <> 4mo: 26lbs 8oz, 27.5 inches6mo: 29lbs 8oz, 30 inches <> 9mo: 32lbs, 32 inches12 mo: 37lbs, 34.5 inches <> 15 mo: 38lbs 6 oz, 36 inches. 20.5 inch noggin18 mo: 43lbs, 37.75 inches 21 inch head2yr: 47 lbs, 42 inches. 21.5 inch head. Woah.  

  

  
  

  
  

   

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• jeannaqueena member

  January 2013

  Lauren79:

  jeannaqueena:

  Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

  Thanks everyone. 

  Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

   I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

  If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

  Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

  I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

  I appreciate everyones support. 

  i hope there is some testing they can do and Dr. P has some thoughts.  It is so unfair that you have gotten pg so many times and yet this keeps happening.  I do want to post a story.  I have been following a blog and her betas were going up, then dropped then started to rise and double.  Her RE said it must have been a vanishing twin as you stated. I wish they could look in there and could see what is happening. Lots of prayers for you.  I have an apt coming up next week would love to try and do the play date we have talked about forever if you are still interested.   

  TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
  BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
  3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
  TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
  BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
  Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
  Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
  Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
  Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
  Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
  Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie

  Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home

  Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
  

  
  

  
  

  Jeanna's Motherhood Journey or Our Secret IVF Blog 

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• CeCe8579 member

  January 2013

  I am so sorry! It breaks my heart! Hugs!

  Carly

  (Former UN: iloveshanej)
  
  

  Birdie born 05/01/2007
  Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          

  
  

  
  

  Potato Launcher

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• by your side

  January 2013

  xoxo so very sorry...

  Right Oopherectomy w/tubal ligation 11.15.2007
  BFP #1 03.30.2008, Born 12.08.2008
  TTC #2 Since 11.2010
  DX: IRPCOS with Fair Motility on SA
  Cycle #22 - RE Round #1 - 100MG Clomid - BFN
  Cycle #23 - RE Round #2 - 150MG Clomid/Pregnyl Trig - BFN
  Cycle #24 - RE Round #3 - 150MG Clomid/Ovidrel Trig/IUI/Crinone - BFN
  Cycle #25 - RE Round #4 - 2.5MG Letrozole/Ovidrel Trig/Crinone
  

  Report0 Reply
• Lauren79 member

  January 2013

  jeannaqueena:

  Lauren79:

  jeannaqueena:

  Lauren, how in the world.  I am heartbroken for you too.  What does our RE say??? This can't be common? I just don't understand this. I wanted a miracle for you...you have been through enough, damn it!

  Thanks everyone. 

  Jeanna, I have to go back on Friday for another blood test. 

   I of course have been googling which is a bad thing.  I think I am in denial.  I read something about a vanishing twin.  I had two great mature follicles and one close.  This morning I was nervous because my line was lighter than all of the others.  I know people say, a line is a line.  In my case since I have been through this so many times, I do know my body.  I know that the darkness of the line does matter.  I decided to use a wondfo through the afternoon and into this evening.  My lines are now getting darker.  I am so confused.  I am going to stop the progesterone suppositories per the doctors orders.  I hope this is not a mistake. 

  If and when I do miscarry since I really know it is inevitable even with my little gleam of hope, I will demand some sort of testing. I have an appointment with my RE Tuesday to discuss. (Jeanna, Dr. Park)

  Maybe I have scar tissue from my c-section.  All of my tests have always come back normal and my diagnosis is unexplained infertility.  My egg quality is perfect.  DH hasn't has his sperm tested in almost 2 years so we may check that again.   

  I left work early, picked up DD and took her to the park.  I just needed to be with her.  She is now sleeping and I wish I could go in her room, pick her up out of her crib and hold her all night. 

  I appreciate everyones support. 

  i hope there is some testing they can do and Dr. P has some thoughts.  It is so unfair that you have gotten pg so many times and yet this keeps happening.  I do want to post a story.  I have been following a blog and her betas were going up, then dropped then started to rise and double.  Her RE said it must have been a vanishing twin as you stated. I wish they could look in there and could see what is happening. Lots of prayers for you.  I have an apt coming up next week would love to try and do the play date we have talked about forever if you are still interested.   

   

  What day is your appt?

  
  
  
  
  
  Pregnant with Letrazole (Femara) on the first cycle with DD after TTC 2+ years
  TTC#2 with Letrazole (Femara) since January 2012
  BFP 06.29.12 EDD 03.11.13 natural m/c 07.13.12
  BFP 09.22.12 EDD 05.31.13 natural m/c 10.07.12
  CP 11.09.12
  BFP 01.01.13 EDD 09.15.13 d&c 01.24.13

  BFP 03.26.13 EDD 12.04.13
   

  
  
  <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d0e64" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  
  

  Report0 Reply