June 2013 Moms

Newbie- Anyone else have trouble voicing an opinion?

I'm new to the bump... and to soon-to-be mommyhood. However I'm an aunt to four amazing kids (2 girls, 2 boys) with plenty of little cousins, and I worked three years in daycare through high school/college.

Does anyone else new to posting find it hard to share an opinion? I want to join in to discussions, but so far my first attempt has got me attacked and maybe it's the hormones, or the fact that I've been spending the majority of the last 10 (of 16) weeks on my bathroom floor... but I'm really upset because this seems to be the most active board online/on this site where I fit (locality and timing of pregnancy). 

Thoughts, recommendations? Or is this just typical and don't voice an opinion contrary to the basic thread question?

imageimage
Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!

Re: Newbie- Anyone else have trouble voicing an opinion?

  • I felt the same way when I first came on here. But (IMO) I'd definitely prefer to voice my opinion on matters, even if they are against the flow. You don't know who might be reading. I like to go on the extreme and imagine some 13 year old who is pregnant who has no support or close friends to lean on. (I'm know, a little bit much). But any of these posts pull up on searches, so I'd rather they get all options instead of what's popular for the people that happen to be on at the same time.

    I wish more people would do so actually. 

    Of course there is always the ones who like to post their opinion, get on others about having a different opinion and then in the end don't even have any sources or valid information to back their opinion up.  Don't do that lol

    Just remember it's only "online people". Even if your opinion is the only "right" opinion, you'll always always always get someone to disagree.

    Me and Zech



  • You can always voice your opinion but don't take it personal if everyone doesn't agree with you.  I don't think anyone is meaning to attack anyone, but we are all hormonal and opinionated.  

    I have never felt attacked but I have had people not agree with me and that is okay.   

    Riley 12/24/08 Pregnancy Ticker
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  • I don't know what you had posted before, so I can't comment on being attacked, but I have noticed some boards on the bump seem to be friendlier than others. I think that this one seems to be one of the friendlier boards for sure. I hope that things improve :)
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • Your opinion is just that, it is yours. Everyone has their own, and here there get to be heated discussions about topics. The differing opinions is what helps to make this board interesting, thought provoking, and enjoyable. 

  • MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

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  • Welcome :), and I am sorry for your experience. I think it happens to us all at least once. My first time of any signifigance was today as a matter of fact, so we are now in the same club :).

    In general I would say that the June board is very supportive. However there are times when folks seem to feel the need to flame others. When it is bad, sometimes comments are taken out of context and it becomes a snow ball affect. I like to think that happens the minority of the time however.

    It is important to remember that we are all flawed, broken and human (and pregnant with lots of stuff going on physically, emotionally, and environmentally). So, remembering that makes it easier for me to give people grace, even when being flamed by them :). It also makes it easier to give myself grace if I do speak out of turn ... which we all do from time to time.

    I want to encourage you to stick it out. I have loved the posts that I have seen from you so far. I think you are an asset to the board.  So, stay and be loved (By me at least, and many others I am sure :) ).

     Be encouraged!

    Also, check your inbox in a minute.

    **Child and Loss Mentioned**

    ~~~God's Promises are Good and True! ~~~

     Baby boy born 6/3/13 after 13 cycles :)
    Angel Baby Loss November 2018.
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  • imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.


    image

  • imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    photo AlbumsWideColorBump_zps1797df63.jpg

    We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.

    “So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
  • imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    **Child and Loss Mentioned**

    ~~~God's Promises are Good and True! ~~~

     Baby boy born 6/3/13 after 13 cycles :)
    Angel Baby Loss November 2018.
      Daisypath Anniversary tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
  • imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Yes

    If it was MUD there'd be more...Drama

    ETA: I looked back and saw the post about making a new screen name so she didn't get flamed on her other one....so now I'm just confused. If you, Riss, Knew that you'd be flamed....why are you asking why you are being flamed? Which...you didn't. That convo about BFing is MUCH calmer than ones in the past.

    Me and Zech



  • I felt the same way... Some women are very opinionated and can "flame" someone for having a difference of opinion. Just take it for what it's worth and ask yourself, "do these bishes opinions really matter to me?"  Definitely keep coming back, just know what you're dealing with. And by the way.... There are some AWESOME ladies on this board. Very supportive and nice.

    SURPRISE! BFP: 12/2014 - EDD: 8/13/15

    We made plans and God laughed

    DS: BFP: 9/30/12 - EDD: 6/9/13

    Radley Quinn was fashionably late via induction on 6/17/13

     

  • When will people realize that when you post a question you are going to get many different opinions? However differing opinions does not always equal flaming. People need to get thicker skin or stay off public message boards.
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    BFP #2: 10.1.12 EDD: 6.11.13 Born 6.13.13
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  • imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.


    Are you replying to your own posts? Who got flamed?
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.


    image

  • imageGraceInCA:
    imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.


    Yes
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap.

    My problem is not with being disagreed with, it's being credited with saying something I never did, and mocked and blasted for having a differing opinion. I posted this to see if there were others that felt this way about posting beyond what I had experienced.

    Whether you think I'm MUD (whatever that means) or not, is not the issue. And maybe, if you read the entire post, you'd see that I agree with BFing wherever/whenever. I disagree with those types of people who will make themselves the center of attention and then be bothered when others may be uncomfortable with it or prefer not to see it in public.

    I also disagree with people who get on the internet solely to bash others opinions that are different from their own, without actually reading what the person wrote fully. It's very middle school and while we may all be extra hormonal, take a breath, reread the original post, and your response before you hit send just to bash someone else. Golden Rule and all that good stuff.

    imageimage
    Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!
  • imageAlliebooberz:
    imageGraceInCA:
    imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    imageKacyChicago:
    imageGraceInCA:

    imageAlliebooberz:
    MUD. You just wanted to stir up more drama with posting this now.

    I agree. Jumping into the fray on a controversial topic on a month board with no other posts? Totally MUD.

    Yes  What's with all the lame MUD today?

    She only has 5 posts, if you read them (by going to her profile) she didn't really say anything to provoke in any of them.  

     Definitely not MUD. There are just some folks who seem to flame others often, and for a newb it is very discouraging. So, I am glad she made this post.

    Your analysis doesn't make sense to me. Her very first post ever wasn't an introduction, it wasn't on a tri board, it was in a controversial thread in a month board, almost halfway through that month board's pregnancy. If that doesn't scream out "MUD!" I don't know what does.

    Yes

    I am sorry, I don't follow the logic that because her first post wasn't an introduction that everything else is MUD 

    **Child and Loss Mentioned**

    ~~~God's Promises are Good and True! ~~~

     Baby boy born 6/3/13 after 13 cycles :)
    Angel Baby Loss November 2018.
      Daisypath Anniversary tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
  • Hang in there.  :D  I would suggest that you brush off/ignore any of the negative posters.

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  • imageHisPromisIsTrue:
    I am sorry, I don't follow the logic that because her first post wasn't an introduction that everything else is MUD 

    There's no other conclusion to draw.

    So you're pregnant. Or you're interested in getting pregnant. You stumble across The Bump (after a Google search, or after after having been on The Knot or The Nest, etc.), and you register. The first post you make, ever, is nearly halfway through your pregnancy, on a month board where you've never before posted or made an in introduction, in a controversial thread. Then, you go on to post only a few more times on that same day, and follow up by starting a thread that is sure to invite more controversy. You've never introduced yourself, you haven't participated in any other topics, and bang, right off the bat, you're up to your knees in controversy on a month board.

    Who does that?

    I can't understand how any reasonable person sees that and thinks, "Sure, yeah, that could really happen." This was very obviously an AE made for MUD.


    image

  • imageMrsveinotte:
    imageRissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap. 

    She chose to feed her baby on a street corner in daytime...oh my!  

    As far as Im concerned a hungry baby is a hungry baby, you cannot choose when/where your baby is hungry.  Would you prefer she not feed her child?  

     I plan on BF my baby whenever and wherever is required.  Most babies don't like the cover, so you may one day be in that same position as that woman.  You should think about it before comparing this woman to a cow.

     

    Actually I would take my toddler child OUT of the stroller and use the bench two feet from her  and nurse right there. Read the original post, she had removed her top, and was leaning over the toddler in the sidewalk ramp. Cow reference: **THIS IS SPAM** hanging, take a sip.

    imageimage
    Our lil' diva: late like her Momma: 40 weeks 5 days!
  • imageRissNRuss:
    imageMrsveinotte:
    imageRissNRuss:

    I compared a single breastfeeding specific woman with a cow, yes, which was based on the position in which she chose to nurse on a street corner in the middle of the city, in broad daylight. However I also would compare a single specific person who never showers with a garbage heap. 

    She chose to feed her baby on a street corner in daytime...oh my!  

    As far as Im concerned a hungry baby is a hungry baby, you cannot choose when/where your baby is hungry.  Would you prefer she not feed her child?  

     I plan on BF my baby whenever and wherever is required.  Most babies don't like the cover, so you may one day be in that same position as that woman.  You should think about it before comparing this woman to a cow.

     

    Actually I would take my toddler child OUT of the stroller and use the bench two feet from her  and nurse right there. Read the original post, she had removed her top, and was leaning over the toddler in the sidewalk ramp. Cow reference: **THIS IS SPAM** hanging, take a sip.



    Keep posting, I'm sure the more you post that not only will more people like you, but you will definitely get more people on your side.
    dx MF & FF IF
    Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
    IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
    Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
    Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
    Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
    Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • imageLidiaLavonna:

    ... You win the judgey award today. I crown you Judgey McJudgeyPants. Congratulations!  

    I just got an image of a McDonald's McGriddle wearing pants....Smile

    Me and Zech



  • There are always going to be people that feel the need to be catty or sarcastic. You just have to let it roll off your shoulders. Take it with a grain of salt and move on. I always find it funny when the people on here voice their opinion when the op wasn't even asking for one. Those are always fun too ;
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  • The way I think of it is that these are just opinions and opinions are never fact.  Opinions are usually misinformed or very biased based on personal experience, culture, and upbringing.  It's human nature to be defensive so when entering a controversial conversation, people will respond with their dukes up. I just try to respond to posts that I can relate to, stay positive with my comments, and share experiences if it could help.  Keep your chin up, let negative comments roll off your shoulders, and remember that the person who makes a negative comment is not a doctor (I mean, come on, you've seen the typos), not your close friend, and not worth a counter-response.  Focus on the positives and I think you will enjoy the boards.
  • I'm gonna go ahead and throw out the 'just wait til you breastfeed' card here. Even if she is MUD, to those who are defending/agreeing with her can take the card too.
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  • imageDumbledore:
    I'm gonna go ahead and throw out the 'just wait til you breastfeed' card here. Even if she is MUD, to those who are defending/agreeing with her can take the card too.

     

    Yep.  My eyes rolled so far I saw my brain at this post.  MUD. 

    BabyFruit Ticker image image
         Big M 7/11/11
          Little M 6/16/2013
                    Angel baby 5/17/2014          
  • You know I think RissNRuss makes a valid point especially on breastfeeding.  Everyone on this board knows how HOT button this topic is yet someone posts something about and everyone chimes in.  It is on par with abortion.  I have a brillant idea.  Why don't all us pregnant women talk about the laws about abortion?  That should be loads of fun, don't you think?  We are all hormonal pregnant women who in about 6 months will all find out the difficulties of motherhood and raising children.  What are we all going to do when our children tell us that what we posted on here about breastfeeding was absolutly ridiculous and INSENSITIVE to other's opinions?  Most people have flamed everyone who is not pro breastfeeding all the way.  I remember a post not to long ago where the woman felt awkward in her own home because her SIL(who she had only met 3 times) went topless at her dinner room table during dinner.  You flamed her. 

    Oh and I bet that some will miss read most of what I wrote and flame me for those, but it is also one reason why I troll and don't post most of the time. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I feel the same way.
  • I think the important thing to take away from your experience on the bump today is that opinions are just that, opinions. You can choose whether you allow them to bother you or not. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a deep breath and walk away from the conversation if it's upsetting to you. If you are particularly sensitive to what others have to say, you need to prepare yourself for that before posting here.

    Now for my opinion - I actually grew up on a cattle farm. I've seen cows feeding their calves before, many times. Do you know that they'll take a huge dump while this happens? Piss all over themselves? Or unthinkingly roll their calf over while they tromp off in a rush to eat? Sit on them and seriously injure/kill them? Cows aren't very bright. They're very instinctual creatures. Comparing breastfeeding woman in public to cows is incredibly offensive to me. I don't see woman crapping all over the street and trampling on their baby to get to their next meal. I see woman performing a natural, normal function that's necessary for the development of human life. It's something we've done for 100's of 1000's of years. If you're shy about feeding your child in public, that's fine. I'm shy too. That's my problem and I'll deal with it in my own way. What I would never do is tell another woman how/when it's appropriate to feed her child. It's none of my business what she does or where she chooses to do it. Whip your tits out in church, on the bus, in Walmart, at the dinner table - who cares. Boobs are for babies and society just needs to get over it and stop getting all offended when they see a baby innocently having his lunch. But hey, that's just my opinion ;D

    TTC since 2004, Ectopic 2005, lost right tube. Multiple miscarriages. Baby girl born June 2013.
  • Daggumit (is that a bad word, BLT??) - I missed all the fun. I have no opinions on breastfeeding. Except that I think it's better than buttfeeding. 





    I'm not new. I just hate The Bump. 

  • imageflerlgirl:
    Daggumit (is that a bad word, BLT??) - I missed all the fun. I have no opinions on breastfeeding. Except that I think it's better than buttfeeding. 

    Lol. No. In fact you can now use ass and bitches. Almost like ass and titties.

    image

    CJ 05/29/2013

  • imageflerlgirl:
    Daggumit (is that a bad word, BLT??) - I missed all the fun. I have no opinions on breastfeeding. Except that I think it's better than buttfeeding. 

     This made me laugh and gag at the same time.

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  • imageBacon+lettuce+tomato:

    imageflerlgirl:
    Daggumit (is that a bad word, BLT??) - I missed all the fun. I have no opinions on breastfeeding. Except that I think it's better than buttfeeding. 

    Lol. No. In fact you can now use ass and bitches. Almost like ass and titties.

    suhWEET, thanks! 






    I'm not new. I just hate The Bump. 

  • imageCocoMcGee:

    imageflerlgirl:
    Daggumit (is that a bad word, BLT??) - I missed all the fun. I have no opinions on breastfeeding. Except that I think it's better than buttfeeding. 

     This made me laugh and gag at the same time.

    Yeah, I kind of grossed myself out with that one.  






    I'm not new. I just hate The Bump. 

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