Toddlers: 24 Months+
bklyninri
member
Almost 3 and ZERO interest in potty training
bklyninri
member
My son will turn 3 in 2 months and he has no interest in going to the potty. I have tried putting him in underware and he just has accidents. He doesn't want to go sit on the potty when I ask him. If he does sit, he sits for a second, gets up and runs away. My gut is to not push it but my goodness...he is almost 3!
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Re: Almost 3 and ZERO interest in potty training
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Funny, of all the things I can control in my child's life, I can't seem to control her bladder. I got blasted last week by a friend because my DD isn't potty trained yet, try as we might. She also used the "who's in charge?" line. I don't know why it would be harder to get a kid out of his diaper if he's in it longer - by that logic, all kids need to start potty training from birth. OP, just letting you know I'm there with you! Trying to train them when they aren't ready is more about training yourself.
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I agree that they will do it when they are ready. To the pp, good for you and your kid that they were trained at 18 months. Everybody's situation is different and each child is different. DD1 is a little over 3 and just started PT'ing. I had tried twice before and it ended miserably. She was upset, I was upset and frankly it wasn't worth it at that time. I would have loved to get rid of diapers and wipes sooner, but I know that pushing it would have made her resist it more...it is just the type of child she is.
Over the last month, DD1 has been really starting to show interest. So we ditched the diapers, went to regular underware during the day and pullups at night. She has done wonderful. This week alone she has only had one accident.
I truely believe that when they are ready they are ready. Also, when they are ready, I am a firm believer of totally getting rid of the diapers. We told DD1 the diaper fairy was coming and leaving her a gift of new panties in exchange of all her diapers. We bought Dora panties and plain white panties. We start her out in the Dora panties. If she has an accident, she has to wear the plain ones. It gives her motivation to keep the cartoon panties dry so she can keep wearing them instead of the plain white ones.
Don't let people get you down because their child has been pt'd for while now. And just because they are older doesn't mean it will make it harder. Each child is different, each circumstance is different.
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This has nothing to do about controlling her bladder. It's about communication. By delaying PTing you are essentially telling your child it's ok to pee/poop on themselves. So essentially PTing is UN-TRAINING them from doing what they've been doing for so long. And you hit it right on - you start slowly from birth. That way you don't expect things to change within a week's time. It's a gradual process that you work on together.
Well I'd consider yourself lucky that you had a child that was easy to potty train. All kids are different, and not all are ready or willing to be diaper free by 18 months. We started potty training our daughter around that same time, all it did was make her frustrated and defiant. We put it off and tried again when she was a month shy of turning 3. She ended up being potty trained in a 4 days. Same with DS. He had absolutely no interest until 2 months before his 3rd birthday. He decided on his own one day that he was done with diapers, and never looked back.
That's great that your child was easy to potty train. But all kids are different, and not all are ready or willing to be diaper free by 18 months. We started potty training our daughter around that same time, all it did was make her frustrated and defiant. We put it off and tried again when she was a month shy of turning 3. She ended up being potty trained in a 4 days. Same with DS. He had absolutely no interest until 2 months before his 3rd birthday. He decided on his own one day that he was done with diapers, and never looked back.
This advice is rediculous.
OP: my DD is the same age and we have the same exact issue. Totally capable but zero interest. She doesn't have an older sibling and is one of the oldest in her class so no other kids in her class are potty trained. She isn't around older kids much so I think that's why it's taking her longer to show interest.
I'm LOLing at Natasha's 'advice'. Teachign the kid it is ok to pee & poop on themselves, LOL...I suspect she is not teaching him that but telling him he is a big boy & big boys dont use diapers, just like everyone else tells their kid. He just doesnt want to hear it or do it yet. 3 yr olds can be a bit stubborn in case you didn't know....
So on that note, the way I looked at PTing w/ DS is that he was only 3, it wasn't like we had some deadline like kindergarten looming, and maybe it didn't hurt that I'm not a diaper changing hater, it didn't bother me that much. I truly believe all kids are differnet and it is absolutely true that boys tend to train much later. I have b/g twins and can attest to how truly different the genders are as well as personalities even when raised side by side simultaneously. DD asked for underwear, asked to PT, did it quickly & with very little issue, was interested in M&M rewards, etc at 2 1/2.Her personality is much more controlling and she is much more interested in 'being a big girl' than he is by far.
This is long but maybe it'll make you feel better.
DS openly said NO he was not interested for a long time. Rewards in terms of candy or sticker charts had zero effect. The one time at age 3 & 1 month when I, like you, felt like he was 3 yrs old and we needed to start to push the issue maybe a little more, tried to do a 3 day (it was a long weekend, I work f/t so staying home for some crazy extended period of time to PT is not an option in my life) intensive where he was in undies and we went to the bathroom every X amt of time & tried, enforced rewards, stayed at home for most of the 3 days, etc it was a huge FAIL. he hated it, cried, it was not traumatic per se but not positive. I decided that this was not the way I wanted it to go. 2 weeks later I talked to DC teachers & they said, hey why not send him here in underwear, we have scheduled potty breaks, we'll see how it goes...so I did. On day 3 after multiple accidents each day and not a single success at actually going on the potty, they said they agreed that he was just not ready or interested, he didn't care when he had an accident & would just play in wet clothes, etc. So we backed off again. About a month after that (at around 3 yrs 3 months), he expressed interest finally. We jumped on it and he FINALLY successfully peed on the potty. We started sending him to DC in underwear and wearing it most of the time at home (not naps or night)... he still had accidents but many more successes. Much more slow going than his sister but progressing. It has been 6 weeks and the good news is he is decent at peeing but the bad news is I have no clue when poop will happen and he also will not actively tel us he has to go, we have to still always remind or he has an accident. That is getting tedious for sure but I know it will come. We drove 12 hrs each way for the holidays and the kid had a dry pull up (yes we used the evil pull up on the long car ride LOL) in the car both ways & peed at all the rest stops/restaurants so I think that his problem (which crosses over into many aspects of life for him) is that he gets very distracted, doesnt want to stop playing or whatever so he has an accident and we are working on that.
One other thing, we started having him stand after a few days instead of sitting & it made a world of difference. He has to stand on a stool so sometimes it is a pain & in public I hold him up in the air & dangle him.
GL & obviously I'm of the don't push it, it will come camp.
Yes, my advice is so ridiculous. Yours is amazing. That's why you're still changing diapers. How do you get your toddler to even sit still? But congrats on having the oldest kid in class with diapers! Something to brag about, truly.
My son sees a urologist that is adamant about not pushing potty training early because he sees a lot of kids that are four, five, six that can't hold their urine. They were pushed to train too early and they wound up using the wrong muscles that then became too weak to hold it once the kids got older and bigger.
My three year old shows absolutely no interest in the potty and his personality is such that it would be a huge fight. I'm waiting. And that's also the doctor's orders because of a kidney surgery he had at around 20 months.
No, your advice is ridiculous because you are assuming that all kids are the same. And you didn't really offer any advice, only condescension that the OP wasn't in charge of her child since he isn't potty trained yet and judgement of anyone who feels it is better to wait until their child is ready. Honestly you got lucky that your child was easy to potty train. As is evident in this post, not all kids are that easy and not all kids can be potty trained that young.
I thought in your first post you were just coming across wrong, but it is now evident that you clearly feel you are a superior mother because of this. Learning to use a toilet is a development milestone similar to walking or talking. Readiness is a combination of physical, physiological, and cognitive abilities. Being potty trained at an early age is not an indication of superior parenting.
Exactly. My kid did plenty of stuff "early" but potty training isn't one of them. I don't go around telling people they aren't in charge of their kid because they haven't met certain milestones.
As for "how do you get your toddler to sit still?" well...who's in charge, right? <eyeroll>
Wow! Rude much? Your answer is completely condescending, whether you were trying to be or not. As others have said not every child is the same. My child hardly even could talk at 18 months much less communicate the need to potty. He still isn't ready and I'm not pushing it. When I chose to have a child I realized I would be buying diapers and wipes for a long time! No reason to rush your babies to grow up so quickly.
OP: it will click eventually and your child won't go to kindergarten in diapers I assure you. Just keep trying.
LOL
Because, you know, you're not bragging about "DD was potty trained at 18 months" or anything....
Grk_Natasha, why are you so nasty?
Potty training isn't just a communicative process--the child has to be physiologically, verbally, cognitively, and emotionally ready. The child has to be aware they have to go, communicate prior to having to go then have the ability to hold urine/feces for a period of time until they get to the potty which is a cognitive skill most 18 months old don't have. The child has to be dry for an extended period and have to urinate in large doses vs just small dribbles. They have to have the motor skills to pull pants off/on. The child has to dislike being in a dirty diaper. Many people can do elimination communication and essentially have their kid never use diapers--but that's not the true definition of potty trained. That's parent trained.
I think pushing your child to train before they're truly ready can backfire. First, it's selfish because you push your kid to hit a milestone solely because you don't feel like changing diapers--talk about lazy parenting! Secondly, if you do push them early it can cause incontinence at an older age as a PP mentioned.
Some kids are ready at 18 months--don't get me wrong. Not all are though and I'd say only a small percentage of 18 month olds have all the skills needed to truly potty train.
You can either spend 6 months "training" a not ready 2 year old or you can spend 1 day training a ready 3 year old.
We've done both ways. We started PT right after Buddy turned 2. After 7, count it 7 months of accidents, crapping in his undies, and peeing on my carpets. I put him back in diapers, best choice I've ever made. We gave him almost 7 months off. We just started PT again at 3yr3mo and he's finally getting it. We've had very few pee accidents, and only a handful of poop accidents (no pun intended)
Its challenging but good luck.
My son is 2 and 1/2 and nowhere near potty trained. He is scared of the potty! We've tried everything you have tried and he just cries and gets up and runs off the potty.
I have also heard it is just more stressful to push them when they aren't ready, so I am going to wait until I know for sure he is ready. It should be easier on us if we wait.
It is aggravating to see younger children already trained, but I have to realize all children are different and will be ready at different times. Heck, I know little girls that are a year to a year and 1/2 younger than DS and they are peeing on the potty! Grrr! lol
Good luck to ya...we are in the same boat! We just need to be patient.
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
Couldn't disagree more...not to be snarky, ok never mind this will be snarky. OP...I would ignore this post.
OP, people do not know your child personally and they don't know mine either. All training methods don't work on all children. Yes, us parents are in control, but a toddler that isn't ready to be potty trained...just isn't ready...bottom line!
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
Wow...you are being nasty. Do not brag that your child was willing and ready at 18 months! Good for you! It is rare children are ready then or before 3! Do some research and report back with expert advice. Also...wouldn't kill you to be nice either!
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!