October 2012 Moms
I have HAD ENOUGH. UGH
So we left LO at my MIL's house at my husbands suggestion under the premise that he would only be there from 4 to 9 while we go to his friends house who dont have any children. At 8:30 i told DH that it was time to go get little man and he literally rolled his eyes and actually said "orrrr he can just spend the night there". When I said no I would really like to get him, his childless friend actually went back in the room with his other friends and said "well DH's wife is making him leave to go get the kid" then they all had a big laugh about it and how ridiculous it is that I want to go get OUR child. Its now 10:08 and he is still with my MIL because I was made out to be the bad guy and I left my keys to the car at the house since DH drove. WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. He is now playing video games and LO is spending the night with his grandmother. I am LIVID. We will be having a fantastic conversation on the way home.
Am I over reacting?
Am I over reacting?
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Re: I have HAD ENOUGH. UGH
I made rachelmichelle1 my bitch.
And it would be a cold day in hel! before I would ever agree to go anywhere with him minus LO again
this. I'd have left him there at 8:30, the time originally planned!
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
Not only are you not over reacting, but I read your post to DH. HIs responce? "Dude, if we leave DD at Grandmas- it's going to be because you and I need private time, not to play video games."
You have every right to want your baby with you at night. I'd be beyond pissed.
Um. this
This! Also, does your MIL even know there's a chance LO is staying the night? Wth? I want to smack your DH for you!
At 8:30, it wasn't past his bedtime. Shoulda taken the keys from him and left.
Imo, leaving LO overnight somewhere (is this the first time?) is something that should be discussed in advance. Not af 8:28, bc your husband wants to play a video game.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
This!
Yeah.
This!! Who gives a sh!t what those people think!! You should have told DH to find a ride home and left him there!! I would NEVER let people guilt trip me into leaving my child overnight with anyone!
This! Not only is your dh being disrespectful to you and your child, he is also being disrespectful to his own mother. You are not overreacting! I would be sooooo angry.
DH and his friends sound completely irresponsible and
immature making fun of you for wanting to take your child
home. I would've grabbed the keys and left. And yeah, I
would find some new friends, with kids.
Dude, I am just seething. There is no way I would tolerate this behavior. He is a grown man, a partner in raising your child. How did you even marry him, and what was the discussion to have a baby with him like? He sounds like a complete waste of parenting space. He should not ever make you out to be the bad guy to your friends over any topic. You should always be a united front in front of others. If you discussed something earlier then that should be what you do. If he wants to change the plans he needs to discuss plans to change it at a future date. And why cant you bring a baby to a kidless friends house? All of our friends accept us all. He needs to talk with a professional on ways to communicate and respect his loved ones or if it were me he'd be headed down the divorce track.
ETA: some of this is on you. When he behaved like that it was up to you to state fairly and clearly to everyone that you were leaving like it was discussed beforehand, and that if DH wanted to stay he could find his own way home .
I completely agree. I think at the moment I was so hurt and felt so disrespected that I wasnt sure what to do. I knew I didnt want to fight in front of the baby and that is exactly what would have happened. He is normally a good father, but its when he gets around his friends that he makes "jokes" that really arent funny to me just to get a laugh out of his friends. He is always trying to get people "on his side". It is definitely a two way road and I should have gotten up and defended myself and my child. I am ashamed that I didnt.
Dont worry too much. Many dads go through an adjustment period after having a baby. They still think things can and will be the same. So hopefully this behavior with end soon. You need to make it very clear that his priorities should lay with you and your child. This will become a real problem if it is a continueing pattern though. I am far enough into this parenting thing to know that if my DH doesnt enjoy hanging out with our children and me the most out of anything than I would get so lonely and resentful that our marriage would be non exsistent. i am really lucky that while ofcours DH has his own hobbies and friends (like a healthy well rounded person would) he is always on my side.
Have a very long and serious talk with him now about your expectations in this partnership. If it is hard to get you message accross then suggest counciling as a way to help build your relationship. parenthood is a whole new ballgame.