my lo never took a bottle or wouldnt take pumped milk from a sippy, so i ended up ebf without any of that and it has worked fine for us. i had planned at weaning around a year but she is very attached and im trying not to force the issue. we are down to bedtime and sometimes a middle of the night. i would love to stop but right now im hoping she does it on her own. my family gives me SUCH a hard time about this. (mother and sisters mostly) just as they have the whole time i have ebf. my sisters do not have kids so i dont really listen to them, and my mother had kids around the time that formula was "the thing"
they are always saying things like "she is going to nurse to kindergarten" or "you need to wean her" or "let her cry to sleep"
i usually just ignore their comments, and i know its my choice to keep bfing if i want, but does anyone else have unsupportive families when it comes to this type of thing? how do you handle it? does it bother you?
dh is pretty good about it, he makes comments every now and then about how she needs to be weaned but 99% of the time he doesnt say anything because he knows its my choice and ill wean when im ready.
thoughts?
Re: if you breastfed or are bfing past 13 months...
The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding up to at least age 2.
If you and your LO are happy with the arrangement I would not force weaning at this point.
Most people have been supportive of me when they find out she is still nursing. Sorry your family is giving you a hard time.
Meh - left to their own devices, humans wouldn't wean by a year. the average age for self-weaning is between 2 and 4, worldwide. And, really, just because you nurse your one year old means that he/she will automatically be nursing four years from now? Really? That's just ridiculous.
Be proud.
We still are going strong at 2.5yrs. DD nurses WAY more than your LO (~5-6 times a day).
I'm pregnant with LO2 and still nursing DD at 18 months. She loves it so I don't plan to stop any time soon. I'm lucky though because nobody makes any negative comments to me, if they did I'd state that WHO reccomend to BF at least until 2.
You can also tell them this information...
I really have no advice my parents are the same way about nursing. We are own to once a day, and I'm close to weaning. But I just refuse to engage my mother/sister. I flat out refuse to talk to them about it. And have gone so far as to say "I don't care about your opinion."
Hang in there! And good for you for making it this far!
Unexplained IF/RPL
TTC#1 2003 BFNs, 2004-2009 5 angels above
2010 IVF-PGS-FET#1, DD b. Aug-2011
TTC#2 2012 BFNs, 2013 FET#2, DS b. Nov-2013
TTC#3 2015 BFNs, FET#3 (my 6th and last angel above)
Journey Complete.
Most 2 yr olds I know are still drinking milk and are very attached to their bottles, so what's the difference? People and their opinions... jeesh. Sorry you have to hear it from your family. The only family member that said anything to me about it was my grandmother, but I just smiled and moved on to a new subject.
Your baby, your breast-feeding relationship. Period, end of story!
By 13 months DD was mostly night and naps. She definitely wasn't ready to wean. By 17 months she was mostly there and I had a work function one night. Got home late and she was already asleep. I decided it was time. The next night she fought and cried and didn't understand and it was hard for about twenty minutes. Then she went to sleep. The next night was a bit easier and so on.
If you want to do it then do it but don't wean because your family thinks its weird. It's not and just because she is 13 months does not in anyway mean she'll be BFing in kindergarten. That's ridiculous. She is still a baby.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
i dont know why i put 13 months... my lo is 15 months! haha oh my.
thanks everyone for the amazing support. part of why i wanted to post this here. im going to just ignore the comments. thanks ladies! you are all so great.
my lo has NEVER been sick, we are so fortunate. and im CONVINCED its from breastfeeding.
I'm still nursing my 17 month old (almost) 3 times a day. When he wakes up, before his nap, and before bed. He still needs it, he still benefits from it, I still love it... so there's no question about doing it or not. I'm currently at my in laws house for an extended Christmas visit (shoot me) and I can't tell you how many comments I've heard, either at me directly or under the breath of one family member to another.
I love to use terribly dry sarcasm and the occasional F bomb to put them in their place. My son has long hair and we pulled it back in a ponytail tonight while he was getting sweaty from playing so hard. a male relative made a stupid comment with something about my son being a "sissy". I simply replied with "My son is none of your Fing business, stop talking".
My MIL decided to put on a movie so no one would have to talk.
in my opinion I say let 'em have it. stand up for your amazing gift to literally nourish your child from your own body, and tell everyone else to eff off.
If a baby is pulling on your shirt in public it doesn't mean they're ready to wean, it means they want more milk and are communicated that to you. There is nothing wrong with that.
Not very many people know that I still BF DD. She's 18 months old now and BF's around 5-6 times a day. My original goal was 12 months, but I realized very early on that I'd be comfortable continuing longer. I plan to let DD self-wean whenever she's ready.
Occasionally, someone will ask me if I still BF her when they see her pull on my shirt in public. I'm honest about it, but I don't really like to talk much about it with people because I really don't care what their opinions on breastfeeding are. I've done my research and am comfortable with my decision so it doesn't matter to me what others think.
As far as your family's comments are concerned, I'd just tell them to mind their own business. If you weren't meant to breastfeed, your body wouldn't still be producing milk!
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
Ugh. Don't you hate how everyone is always like "are you BF'ing?" in the beginning and then judge you if you aren't. THEN, people start judging you if you [still] are. Luckily I haven't had anyone say anything and everyone in my family is totally supportive. I know some "friends" who silently raise their brows but they can suck it. PUN? JK.
Keep going if it's what you want. Consider whether or not you'll regret stopping - and who you'll be stopping for.
I'm letting him wean naturally FTR. Judgers can judge.
I just weaned my 22 month old a week ago and it went very smoothly. I had tried about a 5 weeks ago but she was clearly distraught so I decided to wait a little longer and now it is clear she was ready.
If you and LO are happy then you should stick with your gut and do what you feel is right for as long as you want! My bf's mother was almost grossed out by the idea of breastfeeding and couldn't believe I didn't wean her earlier, but I just ignored it for the most part. At one point a few months ago my bf asked why I hadn't weaned her yet I explained my feelings behind it and after understanding better he was more supportive again (not that he ever directly wasn't).
I have the same issue with my mom and sister. I just ignore them for two reasons.
1 its is the best thing for both baby and mom As long as you are happy I wouldn't worry.
2. it is none of their business. When your sister has hers she can do what she wants, just like you.
They both make little comments about how I don't know when to stop. I tell them that in other countries they nurse until the baby is 2 or 3.
My family is supportive for the most part. If they weren't, I would probably just ignore them.
One of the main reasons I'm doing it is b/c I think DD has allergies so I want to give her as much immune system support as I can. If you have a reason like that, you could try explaining it to them (not that you owe them an explanation).
I feel exactly like some of these other women about do what is right for you!
I still nurse my 19 month old! I love every minute of it! Plus he is def attached! He must have it to nap or at bed time. I have just started considering weaning because of the pulling of the shirt in public and saying "boobies"!! (Yes, I def should not have started him on using that word!)
I think if more people done research on the health benefits people would be more supportive of extended bf. My immediate family are more supportive than others. I just let them talk! What some say goes in one ear and out the other!
DD is 20 months and still breastfed on demand (when I'm not at work). I have taught her manners when it comes to nursing. She knows to ask and not to pull on my shirt.
I have no intention of weaning her at any age- she can and will make that choice on her own eventually.
I am the ONLY person in my family who has ever breastfed, and they are pretty negative about it. At a certain point, I said "this isn't up for discussion, and if you don't want to see it, don't look", and left it at that. While not exactly supportive, they are used to it by now. I breastfeed in front of everyone and don't use a cover, but I am pretty discreet. I act like it's no big deal, and they have come to act the same way.
The only person who bothers me is my mom, and the last time she said that we should think about stopping, DH said "Look at that little girl- she's growing, healthy, smart as a whip, and very independent- CLEARLY, we're doing something right". She had to agree, lol. DH is incredibly supportive, though, and has told me on numerous occasions how glad he is that our daughter is breastfed.
I was also particularly glad to BF when DD was sick last week and she wouldn't really eat or drink, but she would nurse.
I'm still BFing my son at 13 months old. No comments from anyone - and family has been supportive. My friends haven't commented, and one of them weaned at 3 months.
Hang in there. Do what is best for YOU and your child. Ignore everyone else.