Have another? Yes, no, maybe?

NancylovesGomer09 · December 2012

Is it normal to have confusion over having another baby? My son had a lot of problems when he was an infant. He had acid reflux and colicky. My husband and I both decided not have another I even had an IUD put in. Well now my son is almost a year old and Im having feelings of wanting another.. It actually makes me really confused because I know financially we cant afford it, then i feel like my son would have a better life if he was an only child. Then on the other hand I feel selfish because I dont want him to be lonely once my husband and I are gone.. Anyone else have another baby confusion?

jesselayne8 · December 2012

I think you just need to give yourself a little more time especially if your son is less than a yr old. Maybe give it another 6 months to a yr to consider it?

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2012

Well, if you can't afford it you shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of having another child right now. I think your child would rather grow up in an environment where his parents can adequately provide for him vs having a sibling he may or may not like when you pass on.

With that being said, if your financial position changes for the better in the future then you can put some serious thought into whether to have another child or not. I'm guessing that you're getting baby fever since your child is nearing 1 which means he's not a baby anymore. This is common and it may pass with time.

AshleyMF1983 · December 2012

I have 1. Would never have another even if someone gave me a million dollars.

Tink112011 · December 2012

AshleyMF1983:
I have 1. Would never have another even if someone gave me a million dollars.

I would have a 2nd if someone gave me a million dollars. Since that is probably not going to happen, we're 1 and done. I know that the financial strain of a second would be very stressful and I want to protect the happiness of my marriange and provide a good life for my DS.

mben1119 · December 2012

We are one and done. We both initially talked about having 2 or 3 kids, but have both decided we don't want another. DH was a little apprehensive about telling me, too, but was relieved when I felt the exact same way. Once my IUD is close to the 5 year cap, he's going to get snipped.

lynsef · December 2012

DH and I talked a lot before we decided to have #3. We wanted to make sure we could do it financially because we didn't want the kids to grow up in a household that was always worried about money or lead to arguements about money. However, there is a difference between not being able to afford another child and having to be frugle to be able to afford it. If you really can't afford it then I would say to enjoy your family and not put your family through the financial stress. If you could make it work by having a better budget then I say have another because DD and DS have a BLAST together. They do fight over toys and what not, but they hug on each other all the time. Best of luck making your decision.

SharonB222 · December 2012

I would like another and yet I find the baby stage daunting. I'd like near 3 yrs separation between my babes, but due to advanced age (and previous difficulties) will go start TTC#2 when DD is ~18 mos. If I get pg I would be thrilled (yea! baby!) and scared (OMG we're doing this again). If I don't get pg I would be disappointed (no baby) but relieved (we get to continue sleeping).

GL with your choice and future! Smile

SoxFan777 · December 2012

krptcmschfmkr128:
H and I know we want two, and we are TTC #2 right now, but even still we sometimes doubt if we are doing the "right" thing financially, etc. So yes, I think it's normal to be confused, irregardless of what side of the fence you are on.

This is us, too. Maybe I'm wrong, but I also feel like #2 won't be AS expensive because we have a lot of stuff we'll be re-using. I'm also all about getting stuff at yard (tag) sales, too, so I got a LOT of his clothes for super-cheap (some yard sales to 10 cents or 50 cents an item, which is AWESOME for something like a babygap hoodie.

Also, we haven't noticed the expense of a baby because we don't go OUT nearly as much anymore. We used to go out a LOT on weekends, so $50 for dinner, $50 at the bar... it adds up! That's diapers for a few weeks in these parts now...

kxp004 · December 2012

I didn't want any originally but then we had our surprise child DS... that being said now I want one of each lol thank God we got our girl this time because I definitely wouldn't do three

the only major expense I'm worried about is college.... it's so hard to save right now...

plus I think it won't be so hard the second time around since you already know what to expect... well mostly

TiffanyBerry · December 2012

Massive confusion. It is definitely the hardest question of my life and has been almost plaguing me for the past year and a half. It's just not an obvious answer to all of us.

nyki06 · December 2012

We were really undecided because I get Hyperemesis (severe morning sickness) with my pregnancies. We had originally talked about spacing them 2 years apart and then accidentally got pregnant this time around, which will put them at almost exactly 2 years apart. I'm over the evil part of this pregnancy but we will NOT be having any more after this one. My husband will be getting a vasectomy.

lizok22 · December 2012

Wow, for someone who didn't want any, you had 2 pretty fast!

Have another? Yes, no, maybe?

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