April 2011 Moms
Help!!!!!
I need someone who is not family to help me figure what to do. My nephew is 18 months old and we are worried for him. His mother left him in our care when she left to supposedly go get her life straight. Yet she has been there 1 week and has already proven all she wants is to be laid. We are worried that she has sexually abused him as he is acting very strangely. He will not allow anyone to change his diaper at anytime and if you mention changing it he will run screaming from the room or into someone elses arms such as myself my father in law or my fiance. I gave him a bath earlier tonight and when I went to wash his genitals he started freaking out closed his legs and almost started crying. I stopped swiftly and he hugged me and calmed down slowly. His mother used to take showers with him and we would hear him crying and whining. We brushed it off as maybe he was just ready to get out and she wasnt. But at night they would be in their bedroom and we would hear him screaming at the top of his lungs for hours on end. Now that she is gone he seems happier most of the time but when we go to put him down for a nap or bed he starts screaming and throwing a fit like he does not want to go anywhere near that room. He's fine with the bathroom and our room and the laundry room just not that one. His mother used to make sexual comments when he was little about his penis becoming slightly erect whenever she changed his diaper, we all were furious and she stopped making those comments but I fear that she has done something to him. Please help with any advice you can give and please do not cuss me out I'm just looking for advice about what to do about the situation.
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Re: Help!!!!!
THIS!! CALL ASAP!
you have the moral/ethical obligation to call CPS and the police. what you are describing is not right and an 18 month old should NOT be that scared of getting his diaper changed or a bath. DS doesn't like when i try cleaning his penis when i change his poopy diapers or washing it in the tub really...but he doesn't scream, he just kinda pushes my hand away which i totally respect and don't push it on him.
please call
All of this. Please call. DS doesn't enjoy getting his diaper changed, and will run away, and hates when I clean his penis, but not to the extent of screaming. Something is definitely going on, and it's not good.
That is not normal in any way. Take him to your pediatrician, tell them what you suspect and the reasons why and the pediatrician will have to report it to CPS in your state as a required reporter. Be prepared to provide whatever contact information you have for "mom" to the pedi at the appointment and any law enforcement agencies that contact you. This gives you a little cover from any fall out within the family -- I'm assuming you may be concerned about that given that your first line mentions seeking advice from outside the family.
Did "mom" give you any formal paperwork establishing your custody while she's getting her life straight? At a minimum you should have something which authorizes you to seek medical care on his behalf and a copy of his health insurance card, immunization records, contact info for regular pedi... My gut says you don't want to take him to his pedi and its better to go to one you know & trust -- its possible he hasn't even been regularly to the pedi so "mom" could hide what was going on.
I'm so very sorry for him and your family. Please make an appointment immediately with pedi to investigate possible abuse, a child mental health professional to help your nephew, and a very good family lawyer to initiate emergency custody proceedings.
All of this. Your pedi is required to report any suspicions you mentioned whether he/she found evidence to the state. Most likely, the pedi will send you to a specialist for tests. I'm glad he is in your care and hopefully he will feel safe soon. GL!