I think I would like to stay home and raise this baby, and any other babies we have.
This being my first - I really have no idea what is going on, or what will happen. I have set myself up to take a pretty serious leave from work (over 6 months) to give me enough time to chose.
What helped you decide?
Re: The choice - cube work or house work?
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I knew I wanted to stay home for basically forever. Sadly our bank account won't ever allow that lol. LSS I am a wahm. It's a nice balance because I get little breaks of 'me' time when I have shoots, but I don't have to be gone from him all day all the time.
Something I think is important to point out though, is that almost every mom I have ever talked to about it agrees that you have no idea how you will really feel until after the baby is here. Many girls who thought they would never want to stay home end up having a horribly traumatic time going back to work, or they thought they wanted to stay home but end up losing their minds and go back after all. You never really know how you will feel until the baby is born.
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This! I had a really, really hard time going back to work after DS was born and never thought I would. At the time, I actually had the best of both worlds -- I worked nights (12 am-9 am) so I got to be with DS during the day until DH got home from work at 5pm. It was nice the first few months, but I couldn't sustain that lifestyle and the lack of sleep. DS is now in daycare full-time and I work 8-5.
In an ideal world, I would want to stay home the first 6 months with this baby then transition to daycare. But, I don't think we could take that financial hit. For our family, it's best if both DH and I work; otherwise we would have to make some major lifestyle changes.
Best of both worlds here- I run a small business from home, so I do both. My decision process was based on the fact that working for someone else got old, quick- and the fact that we believe in creating the life you want to live- and this is how I want to do it! I tried the sahm thing, but needed adult interaction, and I tried the career thing but missed my son- so I do both now. Love it!
Yes I agree, women get bashed for working saying they aren't raising their child and stay at home moms get bashed saying they don't do anything to contribute financially, we never win.
With my first, I was running a business, so I was able to take her to the office with me. She eventually started daycare about 2-2.5. She really needed more excitement than I could provide at the office (and other kids to play with).
With my second, my husband quit his job to be a SAHD. I never took any leave, so there was no adjustment period for going "back" to work.
For this new one, I'll continue working, but we haven't exactly nailed down how the schedule is going to work. I can work from home 2 days a week, and DH can work from home up to 3 days a week, so we will likely just alternate schedules and then maybe have a nanny (or grandma) come over to help out during the day.
But I also knew that I wanted to stay home. It was what I preferred, and I knew I could handle it and keep my sanity and my independence. I have several friends who absolutely need to work to keep sane, and they knew this about themselves and knew they needed to go back to work.
So, my advice is to make sure you know yourself well enough to know what you'd prefer to do. You need to be happy; you can't take care of anyone if you're not taking care of yourself. Really consider what will be better for you...but also be aware that your feelings may change once baby is here, like Dumble said. Finances are obviously important to consider, too. And ditto Que; you will still be raising your own kid, whether you're home with him/her or not. Good luck.
I always thought I wanted to be a SAHM, but it wasn't right for us financially. When DS was born I switched to PT (3 days/week) and it was a great balance for us. I now WFH PT (4 days/week) and my job is completely flexible. I definitely know that I made the right decision for myself and my family.
I agree with PP's that I wouldn't make any decision until after the baby is born. 6 months will be plenty of time for you to decide what you want to do.