I'll review the facts:
1) My boobs are like udders-- I think they're bigger than most of the animals I used to milk when I was a child working on the dairy farm.
2) My nipples are sore and especially sensitive to the cold, even if I am wearing 3 or 4 layers over them. I am seriously considering applying Bag Balm on them before I go outside these days. Maine in the winter is not the place to have sensitive nipples. (We always put Bag Balm on the cow's udders after milking, to protect them from getting chapped in the cold air.)
3) My skin is changing like crazy. Putting the contact dermatitis, changing moles, and ever-emerging skin tags aside, I've started getting brown patches on my cheeks-- almost like age spots. The patches remind me of a cow's hide.
4) I am starting to lumber and waddle like a cow with those ginormous hips. My ligaments are loosening and they weren't in a good place to begin with, after all my years of high-impact sports-playing and injuries. So now I can't walk too fast (that also makes me throw up) and when I do walk, I have this bizarre gait.
5) I'm almost always trying to eat something-- a string cheese, a carrot, etc-- so I feel like I'm constantly chewing my cud.
6) My latest craving the past 2 weeks has been salad. Which is pretty much glorified grass. (See item 5 again.)
I think I should change my name to Bessie. Now if I could only find a way to produce delicious milk, I wouldn't have to wait for MH to finish shoveling the driveway to get some from the store!
Re: I think I'm turning into a cow... LOL
I feel your pain, OK, some of it! But I will give you funniest post of the day award! I think it made me laugh more because the other morning my Hubbie decided to refer to my Girls as Udders and then the argument started! lol!
Don't change your name yet and keep up the sense of humor!
I think that we were separated at birth. I am 4' 10" and I had to buy a 1X bra. Lanolin cream will help the nips. The skin tags are on my chest between my breasts and I have a puffy lump where my surgical scar is on my nipple. My cravings were salad and donuts together. Make sure you wear sun screen. It will help with the brown spots on your face from getting worse. DH laughs at my waddle and my work friends have started noticing when I walk down the hall.
The only thing that we have going for us is that older women don't get as many stretch marks according to my plastic surgeon. I still have not gotten any.
LOL at Daniele! I hope things ease up for you after first tri as much as they did for me. I mean, second tri has offered some serious relief from intense changes.
CG- I pray to God that's true- I haven't seen any on my belly yet. But, that doesn't mean they aren't coming!
BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w
BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
I feel your pain. I had to buy two new bras this weekend and the biggest cup size in the store is still a bit too small.... ridiculous!!!!! I had the brown spots as well with DS....the good thing is they went away completely after having him. They're not as bad so far this time. Skin tags! YES! WTH???? I felt something on my neck the other day and then I realized that's what it was.... go away!
We're all there with you.... can I join your herd?
You all already have! You think I could tell most of my friends this sh!t?!? Only another preggo would appreciate this stuff.
One of my friends who is in her 40s keeps saying, "I didn't experience any of that when I was pregnant. I don't remember any of this..." Yeah, honey buns, you were in your 20s and 30s when you were pregnant. You weren't effin 38 with the joints, cartilage, and ligaments of a 50-year-old football player!
<br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
I dearly hope this is true too. I don't have any yet, but the skin directly around my navel is a bit red. I meant to ask the OB about it but forgot.
Bag Balm is awesome. People also use it in the dog world.
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.