Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
peeps07
member
sadness is setting in
peeps07
member
I was hoping to join this site as an excited expectant first time mother. My ultrasound yesterday showed no fetal heartbeat and growth that was not consistent with my 9wk 5d pregnancy. I had bloodwork done and need to go again tomorrow for more bloodwork to compare levels. Then we will have an appointment and discuss results. I am not looking forward to this appointment. Of the three options for m/c, what is your opinions, thoughts, insight. I think I know which course is right for us but would still love some pros and cons. Thanks everyone 
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Re: sadness is setting in
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to us last week, at 10w2d. Our doctor gave us the same three options, and we opted for the D&C (they were able to get me in the same day). There are a few posts recently about this topic, so I'll let you peruse those. For me, the D&C worked out really well and gave us a good deal of control over where/when everything happened, and I felt better about everything happening at the hospital (we live about 45 min away from the nearest ER). I also got some good drugs to help control the bleeding and deal with pain in the first 24 hours. But honeslty, PHYSICALLY it wasn't that painful. Emotionally, the least painful option is probably the one that feels the most right to you.
I think your best option is the one that you feel is right for your situation. It sounds like you're leaning towards one. It's good that you have been given options.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think we have really similar stories, and please believe me that it does start to get easier. This board helps a lot.
First, I'm really sorry for your loss. We can all relate to what you are going through and this board is an amazing place to be while you heal. I chose for the D&C, well...the doctor highly recommended it so I went with it. And I thank God every day that I did. It was the best decision for me, my DH (emotionally) and also for my DD who is 2. I knew they would need me, and I felt like the procedure would allow me to move on, physically and emotionally quicker than letting it happen naturally. I can't tell you what is right for you, but I pray that your experience is quick, painless and that you are able to find peace with this horrible outcome. I was also almost 9 weeks and it's really sad to think you're getting to the end of your 1st trimester when everything is supposed to be okay. You'll make it through this...we are tough.
A little bit about me...
Married my awesome guy on 12/27/08
DD Lucy Rae born on 11/16/2010
Loss #1: November 29, 2012 at 8w1d
Loss #2: June 9, 2013 at 13w (Amelia Grace)
BFP #4: We are having a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Matthew was born on July 16, 2014!!! Welcome to our family!
"If anyone asks me how many children I have, the answer is 4. Just two of them live in Heaven."
*All are welcome in my posts*I went the medicated route and I am currently still miscarrying at home.
It is traumatic in that you do pass all of the clots and tissues at home, so you will see them if you look, but I do feel closure by having this experience. I'm sure everyone's different.
I liked how the medicated option came with less risk than the D&C, but I'm sure D&Cs are pretty safe as they're performed so frequently without complications. My doctor told me that they like to avoid them at all costs, though, so that helped me decide on the medicated option.
It was much more painful physically than I had expected, but the pain doesn't last long.
Good luck on your decision. I'm sorry you're going through this.
BFP #2 - 3/2/13 * DS1 - BORN ON EDD - 11/13/13
BFP #3 - 11/7/14 * DS2 - BORN ON EDD - 07/21/15
I am so sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through this.
I don't know what's right for you of the three options, but I'll give you my own experiences:
Waiting for a natural m/c: last year I had a missed m/c at 8 weeks and my doctor advised me to wait for my body to do it naturally, since at the time I also had a very large fibroid blocking my cervix that would have made a D&C very complicated, and the medication would have caused too much bleeding (risk of hemorrhage). I waited a month. In the meantime, I had a very large/pregnant looking belly because of the fibroids, a ton of gas, and all kinds of unpleasant reminders that I was no longer pregnant. It was mentally exhausting. It also never happened on its own.
D&C ... Because it never happened even after a month of waiting, I had to have the D&C last January. I was terrified of surgery. TERRIFIED. I'd never had more than a wisdom tooth pulled, and that was under local anesthesia. Despite the fact that I had to have an ultrasound-guided D&C with two doctors and it was a much longer process than a 'normal' D&C, the surgery was not nearly as bad as I'd thought it would be. I woke up very crampy, but was given percocet which helped tremendously once it kicked in. I was feeling pretty good that afternoon. However, two days later I had UNBEARABLE cramps and ended up passing a large blood clot on my own that was left in there (but that no one had warned me might happen, which scared me). My doctor told me Advil would be enough for pain. It wasn't. Ask for painkillers, just in case. Also take the next day off work. I was told I could go back (had it done on a Thursday), but clearly my doctor is off her rocker. Even the discharging nurse was like, no way, stay home tomorrow.
Cytotec/Misoprostol... I took this last Wednesday, and have already described my experience in a previous post so I won't bore you with details here. (https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70551173.aspx) Long story short, it worked for me, but again, my doctor told me Advil would be enough for the pain, and it definitely was NOT. (Just as an fyi, I am not a wuss about pain, but honestly, the experience is crappy enough, no need to endure more physical pain than you need to) Ask for painkillers. Worst case scenario, you don't need them, but at least you'll have them if you do. I'm still spotting today, but I just had my follow up and I'm all clear.
If I have the unfortunate need to do this all again? I would go for the cytotec, but ask for a painkiller to go along with it. And do it when you have a day or two at home to recover - I physically could have gone to work the next day, but was very glad not to have to.
BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014
Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
Not sure what everyone else's experiences are, but the D&C was best for me. I found out the same way. At 7wks 3days, we found out our LO had stopped growing at 5wks 4days. We were given options as well. The D&C seemed to be the most painless option for me. I just needed to feel like I could control when it was over... It was already over, but it didn't feel completely over until I had the surgery. I still had devastation afterwards, but from other people's posts I've read about the other options, it seems to drag that devastation on longer. Again, this is only my opinion, and everyone is different, but this was the best option for us.
GL to you, and I am so sorry for your loss.
BFP #1 - 07-15-12; Natural MC 07-18-12
BFP #2 - 09-29-12; U/S showed baby stopped growing @ 5wks 4days - 10-30-12; D&C - 10-31-12
BFP #3 - 04-10-13; Third time is a charm... Stick, baby, stick!!!