In awe and in love

Ivy Joy was born last Friday, November 30th.  I couldn't sleep the night before because I was feeling sick.  I wasn't throwing up or anything, just kinda nauseated and couldn't sleep very long.  I had a feeling something might be up, so I had DH pack his hospital bag and dropped him off at work so he wouldn't have to go all the way home to get me, just in case.

Contractions started around 10 that morning, and when they were 10-15 minutes apart (around 12:00), DH decided I needed to go to the hospital even though I didn't think it was a big deal.  We went anyway, and I was between 6 and 7 cm dilated and 70% effaced.  They got me in a room asap, gave me an epidural - I was going to try going without one, but I couldn't suck up the pain - and then they successfully managed to flip her face down.  Her head was already down, but was facing the wrong way.  Ivy was born at 5:21 pm after four pushes, 8 pounds even, 20 inches long. 

So far, everything has been going fine.  She is still a bit jaundiced and has a blocked tear duct, but she eats really well and sleeps to no end.  Now, feeding has been a whole different story. Apparently I have extremely sensitive nipples. She latched perfectly, but I still bled every time and my nipples were covered in tiny scabs.  Tuesday night, she was feeding on my right breast and pushed it just a little too much and my nipple sort of exploded on her. Her face and neck were covered in blood and I completely broke down. I cried every time I looked at her the next day because I felt so, so bad.  

DH went to the store as soon as it happened and got me a breast pump, which has so far been working really well. Most of the scabs have fallen off and my nipples have been healing pretty fast. I breastfed her last night on the left side and even though it was sensitive and a little painful, it wasn't nearly as excruciating as before. Her pediatrician had a look and gave me some medicine to put on them (works wonders btw) and said to continue pumping and once they heal completely to try breastfeeding again. She even offered a whole case of formula, but I was still feeling so guilty for what happened that I couldn't take it. I know it doesn't make sense, not even to me, but at the time it did for whatever reason.

Later on Wednesday, a friend of mine who's a photography major asked to take some newborn pictures for a project. It was a great end to what started as a horrible day, and the pictures came out great.  I only have this one; she's still editing the rest, but I've been missing TB and had to share the whole story.

So, here it is. Now I'm off to lurk to see what's been going on lately! Hi again!