Working Moms
Soon to be a single, working mom
H and I have been having issues for a long time and finally decided to file for divorce last night.
So now I'm a working mom with a 2 year old and one on the way in February, looking for an apartment and trying to figure out all of that fun stuff.
I can't bring myself to go to the Single Parents board yet so I'm posting here.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Soon to be a single, working mom
I am not a regular poster here, but I just wanted to say I am sorry. It must have been tough to make that decision.
I am sure it will be hard but you can do it. Sending you strength.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
First and foremost, I am so very sorry. I am sure it's been a difficult road, and even more difficult to make the decision
I have a couple of friends that are single parents, and I'm always amazed at how they handle it and have transitioned into it. The one thing that seems clear from them is that it's one day at a time, and one thing at a time. Also, identify your 'network' of who you can rely on to help.
Not sure what terms you'll be on with your ex, but if you can iron out details with him and not try to take everything on, can be extremely helpful from what I see.
Best of luck, I'm so very sorry you're going through this.
I am so sorry for your situation, I can only imagine all the emotions and how hard that decision was...I have a good friend who separated from her husband while pregnant with their 2nd child also (though it was a shock to her & not a mutual decision as yours sounds to be?) and I believe her mom stayed with her awhile after the baby was born and also her ex gave her quite a bit of monetary so that she could stay home longer than she ordinarily would have. Even with a pretty terrible situation between the 2 of them, they made huge efforts to have an amicable relationship for the kids, he was & is still involved (it has been maybe 5-6 years now) and he even joined her, her new husband the kids on a trip to disney ... so I think so much depends on both of you & how you choose to approach it. I am very impressed w/ how healthy their relationship & involvement seems to be, at least from the outside...
Good luck, I would say take advantage of any & all support networks who offer- if people ask what they can do, come up with something, whether it is helping w/ laundry, picking up a few things, bringing over dinner, watching your older one while you get things done, etc.
Come on over to the blended family board. There are women there with a variety of different circumstances.
Chin up, you can do this. I went from being a stay at home mom to single working mom almost ovennight. A year and a half later, my XH and I have a good relationship and our 4.5 year old is thriving. It can be done and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hire a good attorney asap.
There is not much new for me to add. I will say it takes a lot of strength to come to the decision of separating/divorce. Ultimately, you need to do what will make you happy. Overcoming obstacles only makes us stronger. GL to you and keep us updated.
ETA: There is a starting over board on GBCN
https://www.pandce.****/index.cgi?board=so
Sorry to hear what you are going through, sending you strength....BTW, I noticed you are from CO...what parts? I am in Colorado Springs.
First, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I haven't been in your shoes, as I didn't have children when I divorced, but I do know how hard it can be to finally make that decision. Just know that hard times won't last forever.
Second, do not be afraid to reach out to family and friends for support. There are lots of ladies to talk to online, but nothing compares to a good hug from a real life friend. I'm one of those people who has a very hard time asking for help. I didn't tell my parents about my marital troubles until I had to moved back in with them. I also have a hard time having anyone watch our kids, especially my step son. Don't be like me... it's not bad to ask for help. It's a good idea to also get in with a therapist. There are so many emotions to process with a divorce.. especially with a little one on the way, you need to stay healthy mind & body!
I wish you the best of luck, keep your head up, life will be happy and good again!
Married April 1st 2017
DS #1: May 2009
DS #2: Jan 2012