Me: 30 | DH:34
Married: 08/04/12
DD: 6 years | Born: 03/28/13
DS: 1 Year I Born 10/15/17
2nd Trimester
kmornelas29
member
Who will be in the delivery room?
kmornelas29
member
I have gone back and forth about this so many times! I am 23 weeks, so I know I have plenty of time to decide, but I am torn with who I want in the delivery room!
Of course my DH will be in the room with me and I want my mom to be in there as well, but I am torn with my sister.
I was there for both of her deliveries, so the other day when she asked me if she gets to be in the room when I have my LO I was put on the spot and just said yes. She would have been hurt and sad if I said no, but wouldn't have expressed it, so I felt bad!
I went home and talked about it with my DH, and he said its whatever I want, and my mom said I should just tell everyone that I will decide the day of and see how everything goes. I may or may not care on that day.
In addition, the days where I think I don't mind, I also want to tell her that I don't mind if niece and god daughter is in there, but other days I think to myself that I don't want her to be.
If she is I would put her in charge of pictures and such, so I don't feel like she is just starting at me, but at the same time I want it more intimate.
What do I do????
Who was in the room with you, if this is your second?
If its your first, like me, who are you asking to be?
Thanks!
Of course my DH will be in the room with me and I want my mom to be in there as well, but I am torn with my sister.
I was there for both of her deliveries, so the other day when she asked me if she gets to be in the room when I have my LO I was put on the spot and just said yes. She would have been hurt and sad if I said no, but wouldn't have expressed it, so I felt bad!
I went home and talked about it with my DH, and he said its whatever I want, and my mom said I should just tell everyone that I will decide the day of and see how everything goes. I may or may not care on that day.
In addition, the days where I think I don't mind, I also want to tell her that I don't mind if niece and god daughter is in there, but other days I think to myself that I don't want her to be.
If she is I would put her in charge of pictures and such, so I don't feel like she is just starting at me, but at the same time I want it more intimate.
What do I do????
Who was in the room with you, if this is your second?
If its your first, like me, who are you asking to be?
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who will be in the delivery room?
This is my first. I only want DH and the trained medical professionals in the delivery room with me.
I'm also going to ask that we don't have any guests for at least two hours after the birth. I want time for us to bond (do the skin-to-skin contact with LO) and for me to breastfeed.
definitely just my husband, eeeewww to other people watching me give birth that's just wrong
Definitely just DH- I love my family dearly, but they do not need to see me in the birthing state. I want the medical professionals to be focused and the more people present could be distracting and annoying (at least I would be in their shoes). My family can come in once things have settled down a bit.
I asked my mom about her experience and she said she felt the same way...she only wanted my dad there when my brother and I were born.
This exactly.
This!
We did this exactly, both times (except of course the babysitter for DD#1 when #2 came).
With my first- just DH.
This time around it will be DH and possibly SIL. She has had Csections with her 3 kids and would love to experience being in the room for a child's birth in a non-surgical setting. She tried for a vbac with her most recent pregnancy but it didn't work out. I offered and she's considering but didn't want to feel like she was invading a personal moment. We're very close.
I'm sorry I don't have anything really helpful to say regarding your situation. It is a tough one, & if you decide you want an intimate experience, you may just have to accept that feelings are going to get hurt. Good luck to you on your decision.
Aside from DH, I would really LOVE my twin sister to be in the room. She would be in charge of taking pictures, video, moral support, etc. However, I feel that if she is in the room, DH would insist a family member of his choice to be in the room as well. I know he would probably choose his mother, & I'm just not comfortable with the idea of her being there. But if I really wanted my sister there, I feel like I'd be forced to compromise. Which makes me want to just say "screw it!" & just have only DH & I to save the drama. ::sigh:: I guess we'll cross this bridge when we get there...as you should too. GL!
EDD 07/29/2017
I only want MH and I in the room. That is all I had for DD's birth and that is how I liked it.
I agree with your mom that you should just tell your sister that you will decide the day you go into labor.
for DS1-hubby, sister and mom
then for DS2 it was suppose to be hubby, sister, mom again BUT my Mom left to go to the cafeteria and was gone for 30 min and missed the whole thing! My BFF from HS was visiting so she stayed in my Mom's place.
For this pregnancy def. Hubby and sister we'll see if Mom gets to come back after her leaving at 8cm last time....
I personally love having them there and couldn't see it any other way. they all stand by my head and are quiet and out of the way. I love there support and that they keep me company when getting sewed back up and hubby can stay with the baby and not feel guilty about leaving me alone
Layne-May 6, 2013
Callie-February 14, 2011
I know I am the huge minority but I had unique circumstances. My mom and sister flew out to be with me and I planned for them to be in the delivery room with DH and I. Sis was to take pics. My dad surprised me and flew out. I was beyond thrilled because I thought he was going to miss his first grandchild's birth. but I knew a ticket would be so costly.
I thought I would have been more uptight and also would want things to be more intimate but everything about me surprised myself when it came to pregnancy and even parenthood. So I didn't mind that he was also in the birth room. I always thought, heck no!...until the time came and the circumstances were so unique. Of course, I asked him to stay up in the corner of the room to which he, of course, didn't mind. But it was SO cool for everyone to be in the room. They have all told me how much more connected they feel to Taryn. I had tunnel vision during most of the birthing process anyway so I didn't really even realize they were there!
I plan to do the very same this birth. And I am also actually inviting my mentor and MIL if they are comfortable and would want to be a part. I know this is a completely sensitive issue so it is really up to the mom-to-be. One thing I would advise against though, is no kids. I don't want them to get upset if I make any painful noises. If anything, you could just say you want to wait to see how you feel the day of. And remember...you can always change your mind. You are in control because you are the one having the baby.
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
I totally get the no visitors thing! DH and I have already discussed not having any family come to the hospital, except immediate family, for our entire stay. We want that time to be with baby, get use to each other, and rest.
Married: 08/04/12
DD: 6 years | Born: 03/28/13
DS: 1 Year I Born 10/15/17
Thanks for sharing!
Married: 08/04/12
DD: 6 years | Born: 03/28/13
DS: 1 Year I Born 10/15/17
Thanks for sharing and the advice!
Married: 08/04/12
DD: 6 years | Born: 03/28/13
DS: 1 Year I Born 10/15/17
This is my second. With DS it was DH and my mom in the room with me. I didn't ask anybody else and nobody brought it up. I felt like it would just be awkward having anyone else in there. And I wanted my mom since it was my first.
This time around it'll just be DH and I.
That was my thinking as well. Plus, at my hospital they move you out of the room you deliver in to another floor an hour or so later anyway, so we just figured this would be easier.
it's up to you - just because she had you in her delivery room doesnt mean that you have to have her. do what makes you comfortable.
since i am having a c-section i wont be having anyone but DH. i had a scheduled c-section with DD and didnt have to worry about it. before we knew it was going to be scheduled my MIL got really PO'd when she mentioned being in the delivery room with us and i told her it wasn't happening. she was horrified and didnt understand. i kept explaining that we just wanted it to be us and the doctors and that even MY mother wasnt coming in. she still didnt get it. so i told her that she was there for the conception so she wouldnt be there for the birth. LOL.
once they scheduledt he c-section i didnt have to worry about listening to her anymore. the day of delivery she didnt even show up to see us/baby until hours and hours later LOL
I will only have my DH. I never had any intention on having anyone else. DH has some "rule" that no one will be at the hospital until after a certain amount of hours -- we will see about this one.
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011
TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!
I have no problem with people coming in before and after I give birth but during is a whole different situation. Just my dh will be in the room while I am delievering out daughter. I think it is a personal moment between you and your SO (well and a room full of medical staff). We were the only 2 there when she was created so we will be the only 2 there when she is bron. I want to have that experience with just him. It will be one of the few major moments in my daughters life where it will be just us so I plan on taking full advantage of that.
I personally do not understand why people want others in the room. Obviously, if the father is not there or you are no longer together then I can understand you wanting someone else in the room with you.
I honestly feel that the type of birth you're planning to have can impact who you want in the room with you. If I had an epi I wouldn't have really minded having a couple of family members there with me, especially ones who have been through the experience before.
I didn't have an epi and at times I hardly wanted my DH with me let alone extra people who hadn't gone through birth classes with us. I think your moms right, make sure you tell everyone that once you get settled at the hospital you'll see how you're feeling and if you're up for having people there. Give yourself time to process things and then decide.
DH and nobody else. I can't imagine anything more stressful than having other people there. That would not comfort me, it would stress me out and make me uncomfortable. This is my first.
We are both very close to our families and we are local, so after that everybody can start showing up,, but I don't want people in the room with me.
Me, Dh, my midwife, my nurse & the baby nurse. That's it.
I've had as many people as all of the previously mentioned on top of my mom, my sister, my best friend and my aunt and I prefer it just be me & dh with the midwife & nurses.