Disappointing hospital tour
Litgirl77
member
We went to a day long childbirth education class over the weekend that included a tour. I was really happy with everything, except that they had billed the rooms as having space for partners to stay in room. When we saw the actual room, there was nothing but a recliner which sort of makes a bed, but not really. I've visited other friends and family after giving birth and they had actual couch-like areas where someone could actually lay down.
So now, my husband is not happy about the idea of spending the night there and wants to go home to sleep.
Part of me is like, "suck it up," I'll have just had a baby and I don't really want to spend the night alone in the hospital (especially if I have a c/section and can't move that much).
But the other part of me thinks, "oh good," because he'll at least get a good night sleep so he can be at my beck and call when we go home.
Any STMs want to weigh in and share what they did? Maybe we should just wait and see how we feel later?
Re: Disappointing hospital tour
For DD, we were only allowed to stay one night (don't ask why - hospital policy? good grief....but that's another story).
DH did sleep on that sleeper chair extenda-bed thing, and while it wasn't the best, at least it was something.
How about a compromise? When the time comes, see how he feels and how you feel. If you want him to stay because it makes you feel better for the first night, then do that. If you feel that he'd be better off at home, then he goes home. At least you're prepared for whatever case, and you can do what you want and feel to do.
At the end of it all - it's one or two nights out of his entire life.
I say make it a game time decision. You may find that he is adamant one way or the other once your LO is here. For me, DH stayed the first night on a hard chair, because by the time I got wheeled back to my room it was close to 1 in the morning.I had had an emergency c-section, so I really wanted him w/me, plus he wanted to be there.
Luckily I didn't have a room mate so it wasn't a problem.
The second time around, I had a roommate so he was not permitted to stay and actually I didn't feel like he needed to be there overnight. Between the nursing staff, & myself, I felt like it would be best for him to get one last good night's sleep
I have since switched hospitals/OBs and know they have the fold-a-bed thingys, but this hospital is only 15 min away & w/the other two kids at home, he'll be heading home.
my hospital also only has the recliners. we live about 2 miles from the hospital, so no big commute. i sent him home both nights- he snores, he would have been uncomfortable, we were both exhausted.
i also sent my boys to the nursery from 12-6 and took an ambien to get some rest. thank goodness, because our first night home with the boys they took turns crying all night long and we didn't sleep at all!
if you need help moving around, the nurses will help you, too. i preferred the peace and quiet, and just had my husband come back first thing in the morning after a good rest and shower in his own shower.
I actually don't mind if DH goes home to sleep but if he was adamant about doing it just becuase the sleeping arrangements at the hospital are uncomfortable I think I would be mad. I mean, I just brought our child(ren) into the world, I am certainly not going to be "comfortable" so eff off if that is your priority.
But I digress. I am trying to encourage DH to get a night or 2 of sleep at home this time so that he will be well rested when we get home.
Ahhhhhhh. Children.
There is no way I'd send DH home to sleep just because he was pissy about the chair/bed. Like PP said, I'm not going to be the most comfortable or able to sleep much, and I don't want to be alone when I have people (nurses) coming in at all hours to check on us.
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Those couch like things are probably not much different from the pull out chair. They aren't the best, but they aren't much worse than a hospital bed. DH takes his own pillow and he sleeps ok. I like him there for the first night just in case something comes up with me or baby. Docs and nurses are great, but they make mistakes or they forget things. I want someone who is there that can advocate.
The second night I sent him home.
I will say this: our hospital has a policy that the baby can't sleep in your room if you are the only one there. I had no problem sending him to the nursery! They would then change him and bring him to me when he would wake up and need to be fed. But if you want baby in your room the whole time, YH might have to stay. Just something to consider...
Our hospital only had those chair things - with #1, I was happy DH stayed because BFing was going so badly with DS, and the nurses were teaching us so many things that it was nice to have another person to remember it all. When we got home, he remembered some of the tricks that they had taught us better than I did. And BFing was so frustrating for me, it was nice to have someone else around!
With #2, he didn't have to have stayed. We had sent #1 to my parents house for while we were in the hospital, so he didn't need to go home and he ended up staying with us. He didn't help in the hospital as much as he did with #1 (and I didn't really need him to).
I think we will play it by ear this time, depending on when I deliver. If he wants to stay fine, if not and I am feeling fine, he can go home.
Our hospital rooms are all different.. some rooms have an actual bed, others a pull out couch, and a few smaller rooms just have a recliner.
Last time, we got lucky and got a bed, but waking up several times at night DH was exhausted so I sent him home one morning and stayed with my mom through the day so he could get some rest and a good shower. Is there a way someone can "cover" for him so he can go home and rest some? Otherwise, he can just suck it up; honestly, you guys won't be sleeping the night anyway..
This is probably what we'll be doing. Seems like a good compromise to me. Maybe brining his fav pillow or something will help him sleep.