I have lots of questions
gymnst1013
member
I hardly have any time to post anymore so I've been saving them up 
Using utensils - normal to still be not so great at it? Mostly he uses them to push his food around the plate, onto the table and (see next question) onto the floor. If we load up his fork, he'll eat off it but he can't load it himself and he definitely doesn't get keeping either a fork or a spoon flat on the way to his mouth so the food doesn't fall off.
Scattering food - he's been doing this forEVER and shows no signs of stopping. It drives me absolutely nuts!! He'll get started with a sort of tentative shove at whatever's on his plate and then he immediately starts in overdrive scattering everything to the 4 winds. I have to snatch the plate away super fast or I'm cleaning up the floor, the table, the walls, myself... When he does it, mealtime is over but that doesn't seem to phase him. I figured he would have caught on by now. Seriously, it's been at least 9 months.
Kicking, squirming and generally being a pain about diaper changes - I know this is probably normal but it's like it's a game to him and I don't know how to break the cycle. Any reaction or no reaction from me, doesn't make any difference. Scolding makes him laugh, ditto trying to hold his legs still or just going about my business and pretending like it's not happening. I'm at a loss here.
Wailing when I leave the room and leave him with the sitter - I know separation anxiety is normal but he is the biggest cling-on lately! And MH is talking about quitting his job just so Nikolai doesn't cry when we leave him downstairs with the sitter. He's worried about permanently harming him by abandoning him with the sitter. I just don't know what to do about it. He's generally fine after 5 or 10 minutes but then we're prisoners upstairs because any time he sees or hears us, he freaks out all over again. Not workable.
Help?
Re: I have lots of questions
We've introduced utensils, but DD can in no way use them. She will help me hold the spoon once I get yogurt or whatever on it. So basically all she does is help me transfer it to her mouth. I don't think she's ready yet, so I'm holding off. She's been like that with a lot of things...we introduce for a week or two, then we back off for a few weeks/months, then she picks it up like she's always been doing it.
DD scatters food all the time. We've started only putting a little on her plate/tray at a time. She will scatter and then start throwing it when she's finished. She doesn't have any words, so I'm trying to teach her sign language in hopes that she will tell me done instead of throwing food. She does the same with her toothbrush...she throws it when she's finished. Drives me nuts.
In the past month or so, DD HATES getting her diaper changed. She has never really put up a fight before. I either give her a toy that she doesn't get to play with often (a special toy...even my cell phone, remote if I'm desperate) or I let her brush her hair, brush her teeth, put lotion on, etc. It seems to help sometimes.
I don't have any advice on the separation anxiety. We're not going through it right now, but I know it's probably in our future. I was like that as a kid. I cried every single day my mom dropped me off at daycare. But I loved daycare, so go figure. I'm currently reading Happiest Toddler on the Block. I think there is a chapter on separation anxiety, so I'll let you know what it says when I get to that part (if you don't get any advice on here).
Scattering food - DS does this too, it's SO obnoxious. We end the meal at that point. I have no advice, but you're not alone!
Kicking, squirming and generally being a pain about diaper changes - DS is a pain about this too. I just change him as fast as I can and move on. Sometimes singing helps or handing him a spare diaper so he can gaze lovingly at Elmo (printed on the diaper).
Wailing when I leave the room and leave him with the sitter - I agree with pp about a sort of CIO thing here. Does the babysitter ever take DS out of the house?
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We are dealing with all of this and throw in the arching of the back, kicking thing getting in the car seat. Sometimes the best help we have is DS who will sing or play peek a boo with her during diaper changes or when getting in the car. Sometimes he'll do it, other times I ask him and he won't
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DH works from home 2 days/week and we have a sitter those days. DD is great with the sitter but if after a bit, DH resurfaces from the office downstairs for a snack or something and it's tears. She is so attached to daddy. Typically after a few minutes the sitter has distracted her and she's ok.
As far as I think, it's all par for the age. DS did all of this too and he's ok!
Also maybe try cutting down the portions to curtail food waste, he can always have more. Ps...does he sign? If not, help him express all done either by signing, handing you his plate, etc.
Squirming at diapertry changing him standing. It'll take some practice, but it's a breeze after like the 3rd time. But have him hold the wall to balance. If he made a BM then you can lift one leg up and wipe, then make him gace you to clean his front diaper area. If you CD just prep your diaper before you start changing.
You are going to have to do some tough love as far as the work at home w/a sitter situation. Like PP suggested maybe let the sitter take him out to play in the yard/on a walk. Totally normal for his age. But what I tell my parents when they drop off, say goodbye once and leave. The kiddos cry for a short time and then move on, are redirected/distracted easily. If you have a basement that is conducive to make a day area...play and access to outdoor activities, for ds and sitter you can try to set it up so you can move around more freely. But don't quit, it's just a little longer, but you have to just be firm...Mommy/daddy is working, I love you, and will see you after "fill in the blank".
I hope that makes sense, mobile bumping and it got long
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Surprise BFP 7/30/13. EDD 4/7/14. Natural MC 8/24/13
Using utensils - normal to still be not so great at it?
Ash has just figured it out, although he still doesnt realize he cannot get excited and throw his arms up in the air when he has food on his spoon without it landing on his neck! We just kept giving him the fork or spoon and occasionally demonstrating. It took a long time but he finally got it. He can even eat cereal now, it seemed like the click happened over night!
Scattering food - he's been doing this forEVER and shows no signs of stopping.
Ash still does this, he thinks it's funny. It has nothing to do with being done or knowing how to do it. It just depends on his mood. I have no idea how to stop it, but you are not alone. I am so tired of sweeping and mopping.
Kicking, squirming and generally being a pain about diaper changes -
Ash only does this too me, he is fine for EVERYONE else. He either laughs or screams like I am hurting him. It has gotten better, unless he has a rash and then it is a total battle. I just held my ground and eventually he (mostly) gave up.
Wailing when I leave the room and leave him with the sitter -
Ash has gotten clingier lately too, but he gets over my leaving quickly. I would guess it would be different if I were in the same house though. I think that having your husband stay home would only prolong the issue though because it would limit his contact, and time away form you even further. Have you considered an out of home daycare? Maybe knowing you are not in the same building will help, plus you will no longer be hostages.
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Our son doesn't do well with utensils even when helping to cook, he pushes the food hard so it goes flying. He also doesn't use his utensils much to feed himself, he likes to feed me though.
For scattering food, he does this more at my eggo=preggo parents house then our house. He usually does this at the beginning and end of the meal.
When he wants to he can be very reluctant to get a diaper changed, if we distract him though it works a lot better so we usually have him hold one of his cars.
We can't leave our son at the gym child care room because he starts to scream as we drop him off and doesn't stop until I am paged to get him 20 minutes later. Doesn't help that MIL is the babysitter and he cries when we pick him up.
Bell does ok with a spoon. She tries to use a fork the same way (doesn?t realize the difference) so we stopped giving them to her. Also while she has the concept down a lot of food still misses her mouth.
Spreading food (in our case throwing it) is normally a sign she's done or doesn?t care to eat what?s on her plate. Most of the time i'm ok with the amount she's eaten so i just end the meal. A few times i attempt to try again in a min, which works sometimes.
As for diaper changes we've been firm about the no wiggle from the start. She's great with DH and I. My parents on the other hand chase her around the room, defiantly a game for her with them. She knows mommy doesnt play
Bells been in daycare from the beginning so she's does well with it. She will cry on days when she doesnt feel well (teething days)
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Spoon/utensils--Just came back from her 18 mo dr visit and her dr asked about using a spoon. All she was really concerned with was did she get the concept of picking it up and putting in her mouth. Not worried that she can't really scoop anything onto it.
Shoving food--Have you tried using the sign for "all done" when he starts this. I think you need to provide an alternative way for him to show you he is done.
Diaper changes--Yes many times she is a pain. I try to distract her a lot of ways, but the one that works best is blowing air onto her face and booty!
Seperation anxiety--I don't leave DD that much, so I am not much help. I don't think you are permenantly scarring him if he is only crying 5 or so minutes though. Maybe he is sick or teething and that is the reason for being so clingy?
Using utensils - C is super hit or miss with utensils. Some days she does great although she is always super messy. Some days she just uses them to push food off her plate/high chair.
Scattering food - C does this when she is done. She says all done and if I don't immediately get the plate off the table she starts throwing food and then will pick the whole plate up and throw it or dump it. It's awesome.
Kicking, squirming and generally being a pain about diaper changes - She does this a lot too. I try to just ignore it when she's bad... although I don't think that really does anything either.
Wailing when I leave the room and leave him with the sitter - C has also been a lot worse with this all of a sudden. She did start daycare a month ago so that could be the start of it but now whenever I leave the house she throws a huge fit.