FTM + Big baby?! Vent-ish
Shermany
member
So I mostly lurk on here, but after last night's NST I think I'm going to need some perspective/encouragement! I'm 40 weeks today (yay!), and last night the doc estimated my LO's weight at 9 lbs 13 oz! I know that's just an estimate, but my sister just had a baby last month, also a boy, who weighed in at 9 lbs 15 oz (her first was 8 lbs 11 oz), so apparently we have big babies in our family. And I was hoping for a 5-6 pounder like DH was!
Anyways, my doc sounded pretty concerned about the size, and the fact that I'm not dilated at all, and said we need to start thinking about a c-section. Well that's the last thing I want, I have every intention of having this baby as naturally as possible. But now of course I'm a little freaked. I go back to the doc on Tues, at which point I'll reiterate my desire to avoid a C at (almost) all costs.
I guess I don't really have a question or anything, but needed to share with someone other than my DH and sis. I don't want to tell my friends because I don't think I can handle a chorus of "wow, that's huge!" etc. Or maybe I'm just a little grumpy today :-/
Re: FTM + Big baby?! Vent-ish
Try not to worry. Size estimates are notoriously inaccurate, your body is completely capable of vaginally delivering a 10lb baby safely, and ACOG recommends against inducing or C/S based upon size estimates alone (because they really don't mean much at all).
Really try not to freak out. I hate that doctors do this to women and make them doubt their bodies and the natural process.
I also wouldn't worry about your lack of dilation. It doesn't mean anything as far as when labor will start (some moms walk around dilated several cm for weeks, others don't start until labor sets in), not to mention the average FTM will go into labor at 41weeks, 1 day. You still have plenty of time and your body isn't going to let you grow a baby too big for you to deliver. Just try to think positive thoughts and push your doctor's unnecessary negativity out of your mind.
Also, is there a reason they started NSTs at 40 weeks? It kind of sounds like your doctor is jumping the gun here on a variety of things
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That being said since you are full term can you suggest being induced instead of jumping to a csection? I'm not sure why drs think woman can push a bigger baby out????!!!!
Good luck!
JHB 1/19/09
Baby girl due 11/22/12!
Try not to sweat it. I am FTM so I don't have any experience, but I've read time and time again (and seen on trashy shows like Teen Mom and High School Moms), where the want to induce/do C-Sects because of Big Babies, and they are always off, and the baby is normal size. So while the baby very well could be a big one, it could also be completely normal sized.
As others have said, it seems a bit like your doctor is jumping the gun.
I asked why, if nothing was wrong (perfectly normal pregnancy so far), and she said she wanted to make sure the amniotic fluid level was ok, and to check on the size, movement, etc. of LO.
She knows I want to have this baby vaginally, so I think she was just preparing me for the possibility of a CS? I assume we'd try inducing first if things don't start on their own. But I'll definitely clarify with her when I go in on Tues.
Maybe I'm too hormonal but you ladies are making me cry (happy tears!). Thanks for the kind words and GLs!!
Oh my goodness I wish your doc would've chilled out on that! I had a 9lb 5 oz baby who they estimated under 8 lbs. Those weight estimates are easily 2 lbs off either way. And don't worry about the tearing/episiotomy. My family has big babies too, I had only a first degree tear as a FTM. No big deal at all! Good luck!!
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My nephew was born to a barely 20 year old mother who's hips and breasts weren't quite done maturing (we're late bloomers in my family). He was born at 9lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long. His head was giant. At 18 mos old, his head is still giant. My sister had him vaginally. Minimal tearing, no stitches. If you don't want a c section, and you aren't super tiny, I'm pretty sure you'll be fine, even if your baby IS that big. At your next internal, ask your doctor to check your pelvis to see if there space for baby's head. He just feels the head and the space around the inside of the birth canal. It's done manually, not with an ultrasound. Ultrasounds are not the best method of measurement for things like this.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
It's such a tough call, because size estimates are often way off, but at the same time, speaking from experience, shoulder dystocia can be real scary. So, since you are a FTM, I would attempt going into labor on your own, and see what happens. If you are not progressing, or baby's head is not dropping, then you can always ask for a c-section at that point. At least you are aware in advance that the baby may be large and you won't be blindsided by an unexpected c-section, and can do some mental preparation for that possibility.
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Cooper Edward
9.25.12
WHAT? I've never seen any studies to show that or even heard that! My brother and I were both in the 6lb range. My son weighed 8lbs 9oz at 38 weeks. My husband is a big guy. Dad's genetics play a role here, too!!!
Um, 5-6 pounds is TINY. I would be nervous for my child should they be that small at birth because then issues can come in to play like regulating their body temp and such.
The average is anywhere from 7-9 from what I've seen around here. Also, I wouldn't freak out unless you had a family history of having over 10 lb babies... Those weight calculations are notorious for being way off anyway. Your OB shouldn't freak out, nor should they freak you out.
I don't suggest this often, but maybe an induction inquiry is in order. I know you said you weren't dilated, but I know there ARE things they can do to help speed up that process. It's more favorable than a C-section, IMO. Good luck either way!!
Yeah, my Mother and I had totally different pregnancies too. I'm sure it's just an OWT. Every pregnancy is truly different!
Cooper Edward
9.25.12
WOAH WOAH WOAH! I c-section because of a notoriously inaccurate guess? No! They "guessed" my DD at 7lbs and she was only 5lbs 7oz. My doc was very honest with me and admitted that those guesses are regularly 3lbs either side, so that baby could be as small as 6lbs and your about to go under the knife for nothing. Your body RARELY creates a baby that it can not birth (it does happen, but not often at all). I would stand your ground and say no. If you have a c-section you could be limiting how many children you have in your life because of refusals of v-bacs and scar tissue leading to two or three c-sections max.
Please, please, read this blog post written by a labor and delivery nurse regarding doctors and the "push" for women with "large babies" to have a c-section.
P.S. An "internal exam" to see if you have enough room for your baby's head is a total joke. Our pelvic bones break apart and spread to make room for your baby to pass through. The doctor can not palpate to see if you have enough room. Also the sutures of a baby?s skull are not fused at birth for the very important reason of allowing molding of the baby?s head through the birth canal.
You can absolutely deliver a bigger baby vaginally and it doesn't mean you will tear or need an episiotomy.
DD1 was 9lbs, I needed 2 stitches. DD2 was 10lbs 2oz, and I needed no stitches.
What is more important to the ease of your labour is the position of the baby.
Remember also, that if you have a long baby they will weigh more, but not be any harder to push out.
Good luck with your upcoming birth.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I disagree about what your mother carried, my siblings and I were on the mid 7 lb range.
So far, my sisters 2 kids were over 9 lbs and my daughter was just under 10 lbs with them expecting this next one to be as big. Our husbands are both over 6ft tall.
IMO theres nothing wrong with trying a natural delivery. Estimates are estimates. I attempted to deliver my first daughter despite being told she was too big and my pelvis was too small. 36 freaking hours of labor to fully dialate and she wouldnt budge. Im so glad I at least tried! For what its worth, she never dropped I never had any dilation. My water just finally burst.
You dont know how big the baby is until its born. Dont sell yourself short and have an induction or major surgery because they "estimate" baby to be "big". Stick with your natural delivery and go from there.
Have they done a growth ultrasound to check size? With my DS the doctor was concerned about him being too big (based on belly measurements and earlier ultrasounds) and I had growth ultrasounds at 38 and 40 weeks where they measured everything but were specifically looking at his head and shoulders. DH and I are both tall and we make tall babies, so while the ultrasound tech estimated DS would be well over 9 lbs it was mainly because he was so long, his head and shoulders measured fine for fitting out.
Also, DS was only 8lbs 11 oz, not tiny, but not as huge as they thought. I had a medication-free birth and he came out just fine.
Oh and I disagree with it relating to the babies your Mum or sister carried.
My sisters kids were 6 1/2 - 8 lbs (she is 5ft 10 and her husband is 6ft 3). Me and my siblings ranged from 7 - 10 1/2 lbs. My two were 9 and 10lbs. It really comes down to the genetic combo of you and your hubby.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
One of the best reasons males should never be OB's! They don't know crap about our bodies. They think they know everything, and they think women are weak and can't handle anything. I will never see a male OB if I can help it. I prefer a natural midwife who has many babies of her own and loves to encourage women to birth naturally at home where babies and mommies belong and are most comfortable.
I birthed my first baby at home with one midwife (a mother of 4 herself), my son was 9.5 lbs. I'm a little girl and i did it!. One of my friends birthed her first son at 10.2lbs and the girl 12.0lbs both naturally! holy cow and she is petite too.
A chiropractor friend of mine taught me that one thing that keeps babies stuck inside are the hips not in alignment at birth. She said a few visits to a chiro trained in pregnancy will make most any womens birth much easier. Hey at ~$35. a visit for an adjustment...worth it. Perhaps you can friend one and ask that they be on call for labor as well. I don't know why hospitals don't staff chiro's for birthing. Its much cheaper to have one adjust your hips in less then a minute for $120 in hospital, then it is to have a $22,000 emergency c-section because a male doc can't pull his head out of his a$$ and actually help women.
Also important to know...the USA is one of the only country's that has women on their backs for labor! Its the hardest position to birth in! Its no wonder why so many women have c-sections. Docs are dumb have them on their back to where its incredibly painful to give birth, harder for the baby, causes more tears, and increases your chance of not giving birth naturally.
Docs need to be re-educated by natural midwives who really know what they are doing. The very thought of birthing in a hospital terrifies me. I have been to too many births where the docs treated the mothers like the lesser and told them what they had to do. There was no reason for causing women to doubt their capabilities. We are strong and can endure, men can't and they cannot understand our bodies. I have only seen one male doc tell my friend she was perfectly capable of birthing and she needed to know that. She was freaking out scared she couldn't and she just needed the docs to say hey your a women, all births are different give it your best go because I believe you can do this and I don't see any reason you can't. She did awesome and pushed her baby out in four pushes! All that drama and fear because some one before told her some nonsense that she couldn't! grrr Be strong and know you are.