1st Trimester

When to tell?? (Kind of long but any advice will help)

So early last year my husband and I experienced a miscarriage at five weeks.. I never imagined I would lose the pregnancy so we told EVERYONE I was pregnant and I am still to this day having to tell people that come up and ask where my child is that we had a miscarriage. This time I am now 12 weeks and have been so nervous to tell even though I want to. I had an u/s at what I thought was 8 weeks 1 day but my u/s showed me measuring small.. about 7 weeks 4 days. I had my 3 month appointment today and heard the hb (160) and am having another u/s Friday because to "keep an eye on things." Everyone told me it was no big deal that I measured small but my dr seems to want to keep an eye on it. So my question is, should I wait till Friday to see that the baby is growing right? I thought everything was fine since I heard the hb at 12 weeks. Any advice would help.. Thank you!

Re: When to tell?? (Kind of long but any advice will help)

  • I've heard that if you make it to 12 weeks you should be in the clear. But just wait until you feel it is the right time for you and your hubby. Good Luck!!
  • I told everyone right away with my first and everything was fine, so of course I did the same thing with my 2nd and that ended in a m/c. I hadn't announced it on Facebook yet because I wanted to do it with DD holding the early u/s photo so I didn't have to un-announce it there, but I really liked the support of family and close friends. I am pregnant again and decided to wait until after my first u/s (tomorrow!) to tell anyone besides my parents/in-laws/sister/2 friends. I need the support if anything happens but if all goes well more family/friends will know too. 
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  • Tell people when you feel comfortable. If you feel better waiting until after your next doc appointment then you should do just that. While the chances of miscarriage are dramatically lower after 12 weeks, that doesn't mean you need to announce at 12 weeks. Best of luck to you!

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  • Congratulations! One miscarriage doesn't always mean another BUT having been there I KNOW the anxiety you feel in the first trimester and even beyond. Miscarriages kind of steal away this bliss that anything could even go wrong, at least for me.

    I say that you sound like you want to wait until the sonogram. So wait until the second sonogram and you feel comfortable.

    Also dates can be off by 1-2 weeks. Do you have longer cycles? Did you ovulate later? If so that could be why your dates are a few days off. Implantation could have also happened a little late. There's nothing wrong with that or your body. Also ALL of these dates are estimates.

     

    Good luck and congrats again!

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