WOuld you be mad at dh?
TriciaChick
member
I've been telling dh I wanted a tredmill for my bday/xmas present for about 6 months now. I am just scared that getting to the gym/running with 4 kids is going to be next to impossible since it is already very difficult with 3. DH got a 400 dollar remote control car for his bday/xmas present.
Well unexpectedly our furnace broke and cost us 3000 so now tredmill is put on hold probably forever since we have xmas bills for the kids coming up. Today is my bday and I was the one who got up early with the kids/did laundry/went to work. Came home DH is watching a movie and DS is playing video games and the house is a disaster. I just broke down crying. He could have at least MADE me a card?? Am I being overly emotional? What does your dh do for your bday? PS he did say happy bday and give me a hug if that counts for anything??? It made me more anoyed though bc I wanted to be like you need to put a little more effort in than that!!!
Re: WOuld you be mad at dh?
On a happier note, though, Happy Birthday to You!
Waiting for our Miracle Baby, Carly Marie, Due April 24, 2013!
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy brithday dear... TB stranger, Happy birthday to you! Yeahhhhh!
Maybe he has a nice romantic dinner planned? or a sweet little hidden gift somewhere he is holding for later?
I would have cried too... sorry.
First, happy birthday!!!
I would be totally mad if I came home to a complete disaster and my DH just being a lazy bum. I do think husbands should at the very least get a card/make a card for their wives on their birthday, if gifts are indeed not in the plan for that year. I'm so sorry he wasn't a little more considerate. Couldn't he have made/ordered dinner or something? sheesh.
That said, I had a not-so-great birthday this year too, especially considering it was the big 3-0! We took possession of our house the day before, were up till midnight ripping out carpet (so the contractors could come in the next day). On my birthday, I went to work exhausted, then my friend was being called to the bar, so I went to that ceremony and went to a celebratory dinner (for her) with her family, where I got the worst meal ever. We did have cake at the end of the night, but my DH did not get me a card or anything.
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
Happy Birthday!
I would have cried. We had a couple really rough special occasions/holidays that I cried about and that's when DH learned that no matter what he should send me flowers and writes me a little note for special days.
You might need to have a solid chat with DH about the importance of showing you that how special you are to him.
First of all: Happy Birthday!!!
..but I would have cried/been mad too! It stinks that your treadmill is on hold, but there are a lot of things he could do that don't cost anything to try & make your day special or better (like not having the house disastrous). But like PP said, maybe he will surprise you with something later...at least lets hope he does for his sake!
We can't wait to meet our Blake Katherine!!
Wow I'm so sorry. I would have cried too, and it wouldn't have been because of the pg hormones.
Aww thank you everyone for your happy birthdays!! It made me feel good to read all of your replies since I cant really talk to anyone else about it without falling apart ;( Ok I am being a bit dramatic....I guess....
He has no gift hidden away I can guarantee....I already told him through tears why I felt unappreciated and he just made it into this well I am sorry I am not good eough for you argument;( I just got some bath and body works soaps in the mail from my bff so that helps a little. Sorry to be such a downer and thanks again for all of the kind thoughts.;)
I would say that most guys need things spelled out for them because that's true, but I'd apply that more to a situation where you wanted YH to go all-out. In this case, he didn't even get a card? Some flowers? Not even a Happy Birthday hug? Yeah, I'd be mad. To me, that's just thoughtless. I probably would have said something, but I can get pretty confrontational when two people are supposed to be putting in 100% and one is only putting in partial effort.
All bad feelings aside, I wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and I do hope it turns out to be a good day/evening.
// I love you too. //
*siiiiiigh* Typical male response. Criticism of any type is viewed as an attack from which they must defend themselves. He just didn't see your explanation for what it was. I'm sorry, lady. At least you got some cool stuff from your BFF. Enjoy the hell out of it. Take a nice, loooooooong bath.
// I love you too. //
Happy Birthday!
I would have cried too! He could of put more effort into your b-day. Sorry
Make a pregnancy ticker
I would definitely be pissed, and probably cry too! Tell him you are going out for a mani/pedi and he is in charge of cleaning up before you get back!!
Yes, I would be pissed. I think he certainly should have done something nice for you, even if money is tight. He could have let you sleep in, made you a card, cleaned up the house, made dinner, etc. None of those would cost any/much money and would have been meaningful.
I'm sorry YH dropped the ball today. I hope you manage to have a nice birthday anyway.
I'm sorry DH is being a clueless DUDE! Maybe your bump buddies can cheer you up!!!! Let me give it a shot.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!! DON'T LET DH MAKE YOU BLUE!!!! IT'S YOUR SPECIAL DAY! LET CALGON TAKE YOU AWAY!!!!
Now, go get a cake and don't share with DH!
Yeah it would have annoyed me too...
Happy Birthday tho!
You're not a downer! I went through the same thing on my birthday last week, but even I can realize, it wasn't to this degree! I'm so sorry he's being an insensitive jerk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Wow, way for him to be a martyr. I wouldnt have been crying, I would have been screaming. Is he normally better about this kind of stuff or does he usually treat you this badly and then try to turn the argument around?
I think we should stop thinking of these responses and behaviors as being "typical male responses". That should not be typical, and we should not tolerate it. I could not imagine my SO treating me like that and doing NOTHING for my birthday. I have the expectation of being treated a certain way, and so therefore they meet my expectation and I dont tolerate otherwise. I just feel like by saying this is typical, we enable that behavior because we more or less expect it of them. I dont want this post to come off as rude. Lately Ive been reading a lot of posts about the men in our lives bad behavior being chalked up to the way they are, and I think we deserve and should expect better.
I would be super annoyed that he couldn't even be considerate enough to clean up the house.
Did he have the kids make you a card at least? I know I would be hurt if he didn't help them do something for me.
Happy Birthday!
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I agree with PP. I would be upset. Cleaning up so you have a nice house to come home to is such an easy thing and means so much... but guys just don't get it.
That being said - the night isn't over, so hopefully he has a card or gift waiting for you somewhere. But happy birthday anyway!
I'm not saying it ought to be tolerated - at least not on a regular basis, though we all have days when we're just thoughtless and/or jerks - but currently it is typical behavior for most men at least some of the time. I won't ever let my SO get away with forgetting or otherwise not celebrating important days (for him to do so would be what I consider him asking to get in trouble) but it generally is in guys' nature to try to get away with doing the smallest, simplest thing they can because their brains don't like intricacies or complications.
// I love you too. //
I'm sorry! It definitely stinks that you are put on the back burner.
Happy Birthday!
Aw, we are Birthday twins!! Happy Birthday!!
We needed a new surprise battery for my car yesterday, awesome. Happy Birthday to me! I told my husband that I expect the dishes to be done and the kitchen cleaned as my Birthday gift... let's see if that happens....
Happy birthday!
I think you have every right to be mad. Even if you're not getting a gift because of finances, he could have done something that doesn't cost money. A hug and a happy birthday is something I expect to get from a co-worker, not my DH.
They'll be as bad as we let them
I'll say only this - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
// I love you too. //
This is so true. I had a vent about DH earlier today, but it's not his typical behaviour. My sister's wife thinks my DH is an anomaly when it comes to men. Her own sister's DH is horrific and she chalks it up to him being a guy. I can't imagine dealing with that full time.
Baby on Board - My Blog
We're not big birthday people -- our birthdays are 2 weeks apart and our wedding anniversary is right in between. THis year, with so many expenses (new house, baby on the way, etc) we agreed no gifts - but DH gave me a big "happy birthday" and a funny card right away the morning of my birthday. That was all I needed.
I don't need a lot, but I would be sad if I didn't at least get a big hug and happy birthday! I think you have a right to be frustrated and hurt about that!
Oh boy. You are so not alone on this one. I think everyone can relate to their H's just not getting it. H has freely admitted he's done doing "those things" for me since we are married now. Gone are the days of great surprises and just because flowers.
Here's my sad birthday story. H and I went shopping the week before my birthday this year and bought some things. I asked if it was an early birthday gift he said no it was just because. Fast forward to my birthday no gift no card no anything. He said we would go to the beach for a weekend and that was back in April. No beach trip yet. Our anniversary was worse. No card and he tried to say the cruise we were on (that he had no part in paying for) was my gift.
THE DARK SIDE IT IS
and GBCB
BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
~All AL always welcome~
I'm sorry you're birthday isn't everything you hoped it would be
Happy Birthday sweetie, and most honestly, I would be getting DH's butt to work to clean the house after the kiddos go to bed. But, that's just me!
Yup, I would have cried, too - even if I wasn't pregnant.
Happy birthday!!! I hope the rest of your day gets better.
Estas son las ma?anitas que cantaba el rey david, a las muchachas bonitas se las cantamos asi (mexican happy birthday for you) !
I would be the same as you, men just dont understand. My DH was totally romantic, after we got married he turn into a stone. But its important that you see a little effort
Happy Birthday!!!!
As for the hubby, I would have cried too, and as for his response that is a copout lol!!! Keep your head up and I hope your Birthday gets better!!!
Make a pregnancy ticker
I would have cried as well. I hope he has a secret surprise planned for you for later.
For my bday MH bought me my first car, and made dinner for a friend and I. The car wasn't so much a bday present as it was a necessity that I happened to receive on my bday, but I count it.