Non-pregnant mamas

hurricane1212 · October 2012

Do any of you feel a little behind the times? Like you're not keeping up with the Joneses? I have fertility issues so deciding to have another is a big deal for us. I'll probably never have a surprise baby. IRL all of our friends are either pregnant with their 2nd or already have 2.

SarahKate31 · October 2012

We have been TTC for a few months now but it doesn't help when it seems like everyone I know with a child around DS's age is getting KU again. DS's daycare provider keeps asking me and the other day she said in a resigned voice, "so he's going to be an only child?" Omg. Give us some time, we are working on it!!

mammcg88 · October 2012

Yep. I had my IUD removed in July and I still haven't had a period. I was temping and really getting into taking my PNV's but after CD 60, I stopped being excited and now I'm just anxious. I scheduled an appointment with my OB to run preliminary tests and such but I feel like I'm behind.

I feel silly for thinking that way, but Jack was a surprise so I guess I'm just getting frustrated or anxious.

rlmanning · October 2012

I don't think I feel behind the times so much. I have mixed emotions about it. As much as I want to be pregnant and I can't wait to have another baby, it makes me sad knowing this is it. This is the last time I will get to be pregnant and the last time to experience birth and have a newborn.... So in a sense I am not in a rush... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. LOL!

LauraOTR · October 2012

No..we want our kids to be spaced a bit further apart, which is what is right for our family. Other people do what is right for their families. You can't compare yourself to others, you'll just make yourself crazy!

magnoliablossom00 · October 2012

Obviously, I am pregnant, but was just curious about this post so I read it.

I feel the exact opposite of you ladies! LO2 was a complete surprise for us and everyone keeps talking about how "I'll have my hands full" and "how close they'll be in age" or that I "must be crazy." (LOs will be 18m apart). Wtf am I supposed to say to that? Ha. Oh, you're right. I guess I'll go back in time and NOT have sex. Good idea! So glad you told me! Ha.

I think people just like to have opinions, most of which suck. I'm sorry that any of you feel that way or that people are making rude comments. However, people would probably say rude things if you were pregnant again anyway. People just like to talk and absolutely do not think. Sorry they're being rude and good luck deciding whenever to get pregnant again/ttc.

mammcg88 · October 2012

magnoliablossom00:
Obviously, I am pregnant, but was just curious about this post so I read it.
I feel the exact opposite of you ladies! LO2 was a complete surprise for us and everyone keeps talking about how "I'll have my hands full" and "how close they'll be in age" or that I "must be crazy." (LOs will be 18m apart). Wtf am I supposed to say to that? Ha. Oh, you're right. I guess I'll go back in time and NOT have sex. Good idea! So glad you told me! Ha.
I think people just like to have opinions, most of which suck. I'm sorry that any of you feel that way or that people are making rude comments. However, people would probably say rude things if you were pregnant again anyway. People just like to talk and absolutely do not think. Sorry they're being rude and good luck deciding whenever to get pregnant again/ttc.

This is a good way to think about it, thank you!

dannie2011 · October 2012

I'm 39, even if Alexis makes 5 I still feel that way. I want to be pregnant like 5 months ago. Alexis was a surprised, I had a tubal reversal and was told it was not successful and I would need IVF to have anymore. Well Alexis came the old fashion way, and now I have my hopes up for another. I BF still but have had AF since 6weeks PP I was hoping it would still happen. Dec I have my yearly set up if I'm not pregnant by then I will have the Ob run some test. I hope Alexis BF is what is causing the delay but she just doesn't want to have anything to do with weaning. I may push the it after Christmas.

I get just about everyone who thinks I'm crazy, I just don't care anymore.

babydoll22308 · October 2012

i do feel like a lot of my friends are prrgnant again with 2 before we are even trying. but we have our plan to try after our vacation and i want to stick with that. i am so excited to be pregnant again so seeing everyone makes me antsy:

AlyciaandRich · October 2012

In my group of mommy friends 4/8 mommys are pregnant. I don't feel left out but I do sometimes wish I could get pregnant again right now. However I know waiting until next fall is what's right for our family.

Jills83 · October 2012

I am excited that we will start trying at the start of 2013. I do feel like everyone I know is pregnant with a 2nd or 3rd child and it makes me want January to get here quicker. It also makes me nervous because I want to get KU immediately and I know it isn't always that easy. (It took over a year last time but I wasn't a diligent cycle watcher).

I have always had stupid timeline expectations in my head that get to me more than what other people are doing. I always expected to have 2 by 30 which could happen...well it could happen while I'm 30. I'm 29 right now. I'm learning to let go of my stupid planning and timelines.

gymnst1013 · October 2012

Yep, way behind. I'll likely never have a surprise either so I feel you. I think I'll be lucky to even get pregnant again.

waterfall11 · October 2012

Yes. I was on the timeline I had wanted (maybe a little ahead, they were going to be 21 months apart, my ideal was 24 months) when I got pregnant around DD first birthday but everything got thrown off when we lost the baby just before 15 weeks. Now I am sitting around waiting to get my period back and watching all DD's friends' moms have #2.

aztoid2006 · October 2012

rlmanning:
I don't think I feel behind the times so much. I have mixed emotions about it. As much as I want to be pregnant and I can't wait to have another baby, it makes me sad knowing this is it. This is the last time I will get to be pregnant and the last time to experience birth and have a newborn.... So in a sense I am not in a rush... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. LOL!

This is how I feel too!

kayjay10 · October 2012

I really want to be pregnant again with LO#2, so I get a tinge of jealousy when I see others announce. However, DD1 is a handful, so I think it's a blessing in disguise that I'm not currently pregnant. I think it would be best to wait a few more months. But my previous IF is making me anxious. If I knew I could get pregnant easily, I wouldn't be so anxious about #2. It took 2 years and 2 m/c to finally get pregnant with DD1. I just have a bad feeling it will be the same with #2 and I'm 35 years old, so I don't want to wait forever.

nfrtny · October 2012

None of my friends, or my siblings have kids. I feel waayyy ahead of the game, but I do feel left out in my own way

slstine19 · October 2012

We have fertility issues also. We decided to start trying again in February/March. I need to go to the dr again for my yearly and to see if we need to be referred to the specialists again. I have just become comfortable with the thought of being pregnant. Last time took us a yr to conceive so a little worried about how long it will take this time considering I am 38. Hopefully this time it will not take as long since we know what helped last time.

march2008 · October 2012

DD is probably going to be our only child and sometimes I get a little anxious that I might regret the decision to have just one later on down the road. Very often I am asked about having a second child and it seems like most people just assume that if you have one, that another one should be following shortly after that. I do get a little sad thinking that this is both the first and last time that I'll get to raise a child, but at the same time, I just don't think I want to start all over again and do it a second time.

JuneBug0611 · October 2012

Feeling left out here as a couple of friends IRL who had their babies around the same time as me, or after me, are already pregnant or already having their second. Even when it's not the right time for you, it does make you antsy watching others move forward!

kellymacc · October 2012

gymnst1013:
Yep, way behind. I'll likely never have a surprise either so I feel you. I think I'll be lucky to even get pregnant again.

This exactly!

Ashley40705 · October 2012

I think we JUST go to the point where we (okay - more I than DH...he's always been ready for #2) are ready to TTC. I think we're going to start TTC beginning of next year.

hurricane1212 · October 2012

I love this board. Honesty is hard to get IRL.

vanessa999 · October 2012

We, well I, had originally wanted to start trying in February. I really want a November baby. And I know you can't plan it, but I did plan Alexis and she worked perfectly but I have changed my mind. I still need to loose a lot of weight before I get pregnant again. Also I have decided to start working towards going back to school to get my Masters I definitely do want to have #2 before I go back to school, so it will probably go back in 2 years in the meantime I do need to take 4 classes that I didn't take within my major, because I was concentrating on Law School. So I will be taking 2 at the CC here next semester and 2 online the following semester and then taking a year to prepare for the GRE. So my plan is to start trying in May and hopefully getting pregnant in February or March, but of course you never know. That would make it so that I have 6 months before I would enter into my program to be with the baby and all that.

The company I work for is amazing and have amazing benefits with tuition reimbursement and paid Short term disability, so it would make it so nice for us.

M&M227 · October 2012

I would love to have another but we really can't afford it. DC is sooo expensive. Our goal is to pay down some debt and for me to have LO #2 in spring of 2015 so I can take a year off work and skip DC for both. That would make DD almost 4 when LO #2 arrives and then DD would go to kindergarten and LO#2 would start daycare in September (I'm a teacher).

march2008 · October 2012

babysteps23:
march2008:
DD is probably going to be our only child and sometimes I get a little anxious that I might regret the decision to have just one later on down the road. Very often I am asked about having a second child and it seems like most people just assume that if you have one, that another one should be following shortly after that. I do get a little sad thinking that this is both the first and last time that I'll get to raise a child, but at the same time, I just don't think I want to start all over again and do it a second time.
This is totally me. My pregnancy was beautiful, I'd do pregnancy again in a heartbeat I loved it. But the labor and delivery was awful and dangerous. Having a newborn with extreme colic was a nightmare and things really didn't start to level out with him until very recently. My "plan" was always to have two but he is so incredibly high needs that I can't imagine having another now. I feel guilty and odd because people keep asking me when the next is coming and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I don't think I want more. Someone even said, "What's the point if you're only going to have one". Wow, um the point is him? I don't know. But then I remember, the biggest thing that holds people back in their happiness is focusing on "how it was supposed to be". I had him, he is who he is and I love him more than life, but now that I know him I think plans have changed! Also, financially I just don't see another being in the cards. And, I really don't like hearing that money shouldn't be a factor. I want my child/children to have everything they need and some of what they want!

It sounds like our LOs have some things in common, so maybe that's why we both feel similarly about a 2nd baby . DD had pretty bad colic for about 4 months and during that time, I did a lot of searching on the internet and she fit Dr. Sear's criteria for a "high need baby" to a "T".

kas80 · October 2012

No. But generally speaking what other people are doing doesn't phase me.

Sometimes I just think man, I cannot imagine having a newborn right now. That's as far as I think about it.

runnergrl6675 · October 2012

I feel behind. A lady at work had her second child recently when her son was only 19 months old. We were pregnant with our first children at the same time so I was slightly jealous when she had her second. However, I've always known I wanted my kids at least two years apart. Now that we are there, we have just started trying (this week!) for #2. I got pregnant easily the first time, but I'm 36 years old this time around. My eggs are a little less fresh and that makes me worry that I will either A. have problems getting pregnant or B. have a miscarriage. Yes, i'm a glass half empty type of person!

kenyakeetah · October 2012

I am kind of on the opposite end, I am scared to vet pregnant again not that we aren't doing much to avoid still trying to physc husband up for vasectomy and we'll our sex life isn't that busy right now we're lucky to hit once every other week.

We are wanting to have an only child unless a surprise baby comes. My friend and sister in law are both dew in three weeks and I'm getting excited and get moments of oh that would be cute but I don't miss being pregnant or the baby stage I just love watching our little boy grow.

Part of me thinks it would be sweet to have another and start trying yet the other part of me is saying no only one that's what we want at least in a couple weeks I'll have new babies to occupy me.

DaisyJanie · October 2012

No, pretty much no one I know IRL has 2u2. People ask if we're going to have another, but no one is asking when. I think in another year we'll be trying again. I thought I was getting closer to the point where having a newborn in the house wasn't terribly scary, but LO decided last night to wake up every 30 minutes between 11:30 and 2. So, yeah, I could use a few more consecutive good nights of sleep before thinking about it again.

kimbo1216 · October 2012

I don't feel behind. No. But I am ready to try. Speaking of which, I need to call my doc to have my iud removed.

I think each family is different and you can't really worry what other families are choosing to do. You have to do what works for you.

kpaivel · October 2012

nfrtny:
None of my friends, or my siblings have kids. I feel waayyy ahead of the game, but I do feel left out in my own way

This exactly for me. I'm pregnant with #2 and none of my friends have kids yet. I definitely feel left out at times, so I guess it's like the reverse of what OP is feeling.

MammaBear81 · October 2012

According to you I'm "ahead of the times" because I already have 5, but I do feel a little sad with all the BFP's running around (and me not being one of them). I would LOVE another right now, but financially it wouldn't be a good idea (which makes it even harder to come to terms with). I have a lot of friends on their second or third as well (I started earlier than most of my friends) and all the pregnant mamma's gather together, and I'm more of an "old hen" because I'm not going through the same thing at this exact moment. I don't even know if that makes sense!

simbaby · October 2012

march2008:
babysteps23:
march2008:
DD is probably going to be our only child and sometimes I get a little anxious that I might regret the decision to have just one later on down the road. Very often I am asked about having a second child and it seems like most people just assume that if you have one, that another one should be following shortly after that. I do get a little sad thinking that this is both the first and last time that I'll get to raise a child, but at the same time, I just don't think I want to start all over again and do it a second time.
This is totally me. My pregnancy was beautiful, I'd do pregnancy again in a heartbeat I loved it. But the labor and delivery was awful and dangerous. Having a newborn with extreme colic was a nightmare and things really didn't start to level out with him until very recently. My "plan" was always to have two but he is so incredibly high needs that I can't imagine having another now. I feel guilty and odd because people keep asking me when the next is coming and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I don't think I want more. Someone even said, "What's the point if you're only going to have one". Wow, um the point is him? I don't know. But then I remember, the biggest thing that holds people back in their happiness is focusing on "how it was supposed to be". I had him, he is who he is and I love him more than life, but now that I know him I think plans have changed! Also, financially I just don't see another being in the cards. And, I really don't like hearing that money shouldn't be a factor. I want my child/children to have everything they need and some of what they want!
It sounds like our LOs have some things in common, so maybe that's why we both feel similarly about a 2nd baby . DD had pretty bad colic for about 4 months and during that time, I did a lot of searching on the internet and she fit Dr. Sear's criteria for a "high need baby" to a "T".

Both of you women describe how I feel as well. DS was a high needs baby. He's so much better now, but I don't want to start that over again. Plus, one baby fits our family. We are happy the way it is.

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