Baby Showers

Am I Just Being Whiney?

I wasn't expecting a baby shower to begin with but when both my mom and my sister in law (I live about 1 1/2 hour from my home town where my mom lives) started planning us 2 different parties I was pretty excited. But NOW my sister in law called and said because they are too busy with their house she's pushing the shower (where most of my friends will attend since its where I have been living for 4 years now) to Dec 8th. I'm due the 17th. I feel guilty for being whiney but jeez isn't that cutting it close? I told DH he didn't seemed worried but I'm debating asking her just not to throw one. I'm afraid I'll be too uncomfortable or the baby will be here by then and I won't want to go out. What would you do, any suggestions?

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Re: Am I Just Being Whiney?

  • Part of me says to let her continue planning. If you have the baby by then I'm sure the host and guests will completely understand. You'll most likely be sitting the entire shower so you should be pretty comfortable. On the other hand, most doctors don't recommend going out of state after a certain time frame, so if you want to play it safe, then politely decline and tell her that you think it's cutting it too close. Maybe she'll consider moving the date up, but it's really what you're comfortable with doing.
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  • Why would you be uncomfortable.  I've had 3 kids and one was almost 10 pounds.  I felt BIG but not uncomfotable - and I had a toddler to run around after.  Wtih my first I worked on Friday and had her on Saturday.  I think way too much emphasis is put on "how uncomfortable" a woman will be.  I would just let her go ahead and plan it...but you might mention that you might not be there if you deliver early.  I've actually hosted 2 showers AFTER the MTB's had their babies (their choice).  Hopefully it all turns out well and you deliver on your due date.
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  • I would just let her plan the shower.  If you have the baby early, she can reschedule it if necessary.  She's the one who has to do the preparation, so just try to go with the flow and enjoy the shower. 

    I had two showers: one at 37 weeks and the other at 37w3d.  (DS was born at 39w1d and weighed 10 lb 6 oz.) I had figured that as a FTM that DS would come late, so I wasn't concerned about the timing of my showers.  (Obviously, I was wrong about that.)  I just felt blessed to have such terrific friends and family.  I had a great time at both of my showers.  I was big (see picture below) but not really uncomfortable.  I was most uncomfortable from 31-36 weeks when DS was breech and his head was jammed up under my ribs. 

    Looking back, I think decorating and organizing DS's room at the last minute helped to pass the time during those last few weeks.  The only problem I had with the timing of my showers was getting all of the thank you cards finished in a timely manner. We still received presents after the showers, so we didn't have time to get all of the thank you cards written before LO was born.  I did finish all of the thank you cards for the shower gifts shortly after DS was born, but I admit that I still haven't finished all of the other thank you cards.  (2 showers + birth + baptism in less than one month = a crazy number of thank you cards)  Up until last week, we were still receiving one or two gifts a week for DS.  Although it seems like I'm never making progress, I hope to get all of the thank you cards done by the end of this week. 

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  • It's just as uncomfortable at 30 weeks as it is at 35 or 40. They are expecting you to sit on your duff, eat cake and open presents, not perform the Riverdance with Michael Flatley.
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  • Unless there was a medical reason I couldn't...like bed rest..then I would just suck it up and go. I couldn't get out of the house enough even close to my due date.

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  • Nah. Honestly, you'll have most of your stuff set up by then. Have a place for the baby to sleep ready and the carseat all set up. Also have 5 or so sleepers all washed and folded and a pack of diapers ready to go. 

    Everything else can wait. If you are dying for a boppy, go ahead and get that too. You can return duplicates (or have 1 for each floor or section of the house). If you have the baby days after your shower and don't have stuff like towels or a swing, your DH can run out to Target and pick that stuff up really fast.

    Honestly, I was induced due to complications at 38 weeks and I still felt great. My feet were like sausages, so I did wear flats to my shower (at 36 weeks) and kicked them off as soon as I arrived. No one minded :) Just dress comfortably.

    Enjoy your shower. Try not to stress, you will have plenty of time to do that once you go into labor!!

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    imageLiz4444:
    It's just as uncomfortable at 30 weeks as it is at 35 or 40. They are expecting you to sit on your duff, eat cake and open presents, not perform the Riverdance with Michael Flatley.

    LOL at Michael Flatley reference.  

    Umm, we're doing a duet at my 4th shower. Duh! Doesn't everyone? 

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
  • I had my baby 10 days after my baby shower (at 39 weeks).  I wouldn't like the date your SIL picked bc you could easily miss the shower, but if you haven't had the baby yet you'll probably be fine for the shower.
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  • It is close, yes, because you might deliver early.  Which would be a bummer.  But it is out of your control at this point.

    But I'm not buying the uncomfortable argument.  I delivered two weeks early and DH and I hiked a few hours before my water broke. 

    At that point you'll be happy for some distraction.

  • I went into labor at work at 40 weeks pregnant. We're all uncomfortable.  But trust me, I was able to sit around, chat with friends and eat.  That's all a shower entails.  You'll be fine.  And it you have LO beforehand, then so be it.  Shower is cancelled. 

    p.s. LOL at the Riverdance mention! 

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  • imageMelRC117:

    imagerhubarb123:
    Why would you be uncomfortable.  I've had 3 kids and one was almost 10 pounds.  I felt BIG but not uncomfotable - and I had a toddler to run around after.  Wtih my first I worked on Friday and had her on Saturday.  I think way too much emphasis is put on "how uncomfortable" a woman will be.  I would just let her go ahead and plan it...but you might mention that you might not be there if you deliver early.  I've actually hosted 2 showers AFTER the MTB's had their babies (their choice).  Hopefully it all turns out well and you deliver on your due date.

    Well some people DO feel uncomfortable when they are big.... and I worked right up until my EDD do but that doesn't mean I wasn't uncomfortable.  Its the fact that OP will be just as uncomfortable sitting at home then at her shower.

    It wouldn't be "ideal" but it will take your mind off things.  All you have to do is sit around, open gifts, and eat. 

    This. I was VERY uncomfortable from about 25 weeks to the end. I retained a TON of water and could barely fit my flip flops on at 32 weeks. So for me, everything was uncomfortable even sitting.

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  • imageLiz4444:
    It's just as uncomfortable at 30 weeks as it is at 35 or 40. They are expecting you to sit on your duff, eat cake and open presents, not perform the Riverdance with Michael Flatley.

     

    If people aren't going to watch me Riverdance at my baby shower, I don't want one! 

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