I have to vent..
Jessicabecherer89
member
I found out I was pregnant at 14-15 wks pregnant. A little shocking did not know
I was pregnant. Had all my periods n such. The person that help me create this baby went away for awhile to get knee surgery in a different state and came back a few weeks after I found out. I did not want to tell him over the phone I was carrying his child so I waited to tel him in person.(Thinkin that was the right thing to do since ive never had to tell someone Im pregnant.) when I told him he said he wished Id had the abortion and then after i know for a fact he is the father..He automaticly wanted a dna test and I told him im not doing anything while im pregnant and he can wait till after I give birth. Now he has nothing to do with me. I have accepted that im more in likely going to be a single mother and I know i can do it..with my hormones being crazy im now going in the stage of being sad. I really thought i knew this person well enough he wouldnt be a jerk about things and it wasnt like a one night stand we had been seeing each other for awhile.. Just feeling down today and emotional. Sucks :-/
On the bright side I know im having a baby boy and im so thrilled im getting the little boy Ive always wanted. I guess this is gods way of giving me a man that will always love me no matter what.
Sorry guys I had to vent..
Re: I have to vent..
You know what... I hear ya...
I found out I was pregnant when I went to get a double scope done for my indigestion, NON digestion, heartburn, vomiting, horrible tummy troubles- right before they doped me up, the checked my urine test and found the source of my digestive woes- I pretty darn preggo! My "boyfriend" was sitting with me at the time, and we both went white- we had not been together even a year, and I had come out of a pretty bad divorce prior- a baby??? Not exactly what we had planned!!!
Well- I always thought I couldn't have kids- 10 years of thinking that, and suddenly here I was. The bf and I were into the party scene- NO DRUGS, but we did go out and drink quite a bit- because of my stomach problems, I had cut way back on the drinking, and then when I found out I was pregnant- of course I quit immediately! No problem there! I had a little miracle growing inside of me- the bf... um, yeah, not so much.
He was silent on the way home (we were roommates) and of course as soon as we walked in the door- he proceeded to get himself schnockered. I left for a while to let him process, and when I came back, he was talking with our other roommate... they were both wasted. He proceeded to tell me no way we should have this baby, I trapped him into a relationship, I should get an abortion, and on and on- I let him have his rant, and told him I was in no way taking anything he said that night personally- and I didn't. It was the months of drinking, shooting off his mouth, not coming home, no communication- yeah, that I took personally. I'm talking about a sweet, smart, amazing man that suddenly became a thorn in my side, and sinking me into a depression far greater than I could imagine- he was taking away EVERYTHING positive about my pregnancy- I had a tiny human growing inside me and I was elated- and then constantly dragged down by him and his inablility to be there for me, and the drinking- you would not believe the stuff he said to me when he was drinking! He has never laid a hand on me- thankfully... because if he had- ohhhhhhh I would have laid him flat!
Now, here I am, six months pregnant, and finally got the stones to cut him off. I will not interfear with him being a part of this baby- but I am not going to have him around me when drinking- he is a guy who gave me a baby, but I will not let him take the joy of this pregnancy away from me. If he is drinking while I am in labor, he will not be allowed in the room. If he actually wants to go to the birthing classes, fine, but if he is drinking, he can leave- I have my mom to be there for me (THANK GOD). I am no longer in a relationship with him, so what he does- that is all on him. It is no longer my concern...
BUT- it sucks. All I want is to be held, snuggled, loved, and cherished for the life I am creating, and for what it is going thru. It is a desperately lonely place to be- pregnant and without a partner... and ever notice how suddenly people around you act as though you have the plague? Yup. LONELY!!!
And unfortunately, I am one of those incredibly "randy" pregnant women- so being single SUCKS!!!
So, yeah, it sucks, it's lonely, its depressing- but it is also incredibly liberating... I mean, we are the ones who get to be a role model for our children- they are the ones that are missing out on an incredible experience! It is going to be hard, terrifying, frustrating, heart breaking, all consuming, etc- but just think of who you will be in your child's eyes... Instead of being pathetic and chasing after men who obviously don't give a rats ass about these babies- so they don't deserve them! They have no clue, no connection to this child like we do- so I actually pitty them and the *** train they ride on- One day, they (hopefully) will be full of regret- and it will be too late... They will have missed out on the day to day wonder of a newborn... and we will have it all!
Chin up, I get where you are coming from... be strong, hold onto the positive, and be the person you want your baby to look up to- Thats my mantra.
I wish there was a like button for this post.
That sounds exactly how i found out. I found out when i was in the ER for stomach problems. Its just sad that men that act like real men arent. Ive let him soak it in for the shock factor because I mean i was in shock myself when I found out because I would have no way of thinking I was pregnant but i guess hes just not the type of person i thought he was. And yes it sucks because i really miss him and that manly touch of being hugged and kissed and cuddled but Like you said I dont want him in my babys life when hes going to act like hes being forced and who knows what could happen. Thanks for reading my vent ladies. Most of my friends dont have kids so they dont understand so i have to vent some where.
I don't think anyone is really REALLY prepared for when they get pregnant- but you roll with it, and celebrate the amazing thing your body is doing- you get excited, you get terrified, you are elated, you sob your head off- it is a rollercoaster of emotions. Having someone with you for the ride is a true blessing, unless that someone is throwing up all over you- kinda ruins the rush! LOL
Its hard being pregnant alone, especially when your friends don't have children- but another perk of that- you most certainly are able to seperate your true friends from the crappers! The people that stand by you now are the ones to keep in your life- the ones that make it miserable or just disappear- those are the ones to keep at a distance.
Also- I talk a good game, but I am far from perfect in controlling my emotions, and I am not always so confident- it is HARD HARD HARD going it alone- but I have been trying so hard to focus on the positive and push away my negative doubts...
You sound like your head is in the right place... keep it up! YOU WILL BE FINE! Even when it doesn't feel like it.
Later on in life, he will regret what he did... if he has a soul!