Hospital Visitors
I read a previous post from a new mom who said that if she could do one thing differently it would be to limit the number of hospital visitors when the baby was born. She said people were constantly in and out and they never got to spend time just the three of them as a family. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and want to limit the number of visitors. Our families live 5 hours away, so any family that visited would be from out of town. My parents, MIL, SIL, my sister and her hubby are all staying with us after the kid is born - that's 6 people, staying in our house. I have a list of 10 people who I am cool with visiting in the hospital and I would like everyone else to wait until we are settled at home. My hubby thinks the more the merrier but supports the limit. Am I being unreasonable? I feel like I'm being generous...
Re: Hospital Visitors
Short and sweet: Your baby, your rules.
I also want time to get used to it being the three of us. I've warned everyone that no one's coming in for at least an hour after I give birth and I'm definitely kicking people out when I need to nurse.
Holy helI at 6 people staying at your house afterwards though!
These are my thoughts exactly. If I want alone time with SO and my baby, I dare someone to try to defy me.
Not unreasonable at all!!
I've already informed my friends and family that the waiting area at the hospital is small and my room is just as small and there are set visiting hours by the hospital staff and No I will not be calling them on my way so they can meet me there. My mother, my step mom and my sister are the only ones allowed in the room as my support team and my dad and siblings are allowed to be there to see the baby after she arrives but other then that NO ONE is coming until at least the next day.
I've even put a ban up on my family posting about my labor or the baby on Facebook until after I have had a chance to say something.
This is a time for you and baby to get to bond and if a million and one hands are there to take baby from you and not allow you to bond then putting your foot down is the best thing you can do.
What you are most comfortable with is what matters.
I was totally ok with visitors I loved showing her off to everyone. Plus you can't visit past 6:00 at our hospital so we had all night just the three of us and most people didn't come till late morning or lunch time. At times we were bored and loved when people showed up. You could say ahead of time that plans are to limit the amount of people in the hospital to give you time to adjust to motherhood, and then play it by ear.
All of this.
My husband's parents live two hours away, so I'm not sure what to do about them....I asked my MIL when she wanted to be called (when I go into labor, when I have him, when we're home?) and she said when I go into labor, but they probably wouldn't be able to leave right away since they both work, which is fine.
I do want some time with just the three of us so everyone may get kicked out of the room a lot...
"MIL, SIL, my sister and her hubby are all staying with us"
WHAT??? Why? They can stay at a hotel. No way would I allow that many people to stay over after bringing a baby home. I could barely handle guests coming over all day and then leaving. NO NO NO.....do not allow this, you will regret it. I repeat, do not allow people to stay over.
That is the one thing that I wished I could have changed when I had my son! Not so much with the visitors after he was born but before. I was induced and slept horrible the night before. It took a whole 24 hours of labor before I had to push. My husband?s grandma and sister got to the hospital before I even got checked in and stayed in the room the whole time and even stayed the night! I was so exhausted and all I wanted was to just be with my husband and have private time to rest and try to relax but that was difficult especially when the rest of his family showed up and we had like 10 people in the room the whole time including kids running around. Everyone was so excited to be there I didn?t have the heart to tell them to get out. It was chaotic! When it came time to push I was so tired I was falling asleep between contractions. I know people might get offended this time but I told my husband for this baby we aren?t letting anyone come visit until I am dilated to like an 8 so we can relax for the majority of it.
It's totally up to you and what you're comfortable with. Someone will always not like your decision, but it's your family!
We didn't limit the number of people who came, but we did limit the hours we wanted people there like visiting hours so we could have some time to ourselves. At one point our room was definitley full, but everyone was out by 8, so we had time for our family.
This. Plus, I was so exhausted for being in labor for so long, etc. Do what you feel is right.
It's your rules don't feel bad, but you might find it to be a nonissue. I never discussed with anyone who would visit. It ended up just being immediate family sporadically. MILs best friend worked in the hospital and stopped by for 5 minutes, but I was in the shower and was actually bummed that I missed her (though I was excited that she saw the boppy on my bed bc that's the gift she gave me.) I actually would have enjoyed more visitors, I was a bit bored by the end. I don''t think I would start telling everyone they can't see you before you are even at the hospital, but if they call/text asking to come visit just reply that you'd love visitors at home after all of your family has gone (that seems like the crazy part, hopefully having 6 extra adults in your house goes well!)
I'm struggling with this too! I told my MIL she is more than welcome to be at the hospital, in the waiting room as long as she wants (because she has asked REPEATEDLY about this). I also let her know that we would need at least an hour after birth to just be together and breastfeed and what not. I also worry about a bunch of people trucking their germs in the room and sharing with us. No thank you!
I know our hospital is VERY open about visitors so we have to set some boundaries and insist people call before coming to see if we are up for it. As a nurse, I always tell my patients to use me as their excuse any time they need to. I have found, it is never a lie to tell a family/visitors that I am looking out for the patient's rest and recovery by limiting visitors. Maybe your nurses can help with this too?
I cant get over your house guests! I get anxious thinking of people stopping by, let alone sleeping over! Good luck!
Props to you for being willing to have all those people in your house afterward.
Like PPs have said, whatever you are comfortable with. I told DH that we will have no visitors in the room until after I BF, then whoever wants to come in can come. As far as home goes though, just DH, baby and I for the first week.
I couldn't agree more. You need time to bond with baby, get BF and heal. You can't do any of this well with a bunch of people around. Yes, we all want to be kind and allow relatives to "meet" the baby, but really...it could actually be detrimental to your LO's development.
In my house, there will be no visitors for at least two weeks. I'm completely putting LO's needs first. Everyone else can just wait.