Attachment Parenting
Feeling weird about nursing my daughter
I BF my son until he was 21 months and I am really glad that I chose to BF. It was a challenge, because he did not take ANY bottles or even sippy cups until he was over a year old, so I was very very limited in what I could do away from him. We have always had a very close bond. My daughter is due around Halloween, and quite honestly I am feeling nervous about nursing her because we're both girls. I know that sounds really strange, but I just can't shake the weird feeling I have about it. Guys just gravitate towards that part of a woman's body anyways lol so I didn't think twice about it with my son, I am really not sure why I am so nervous about it this time. i keep telling myself that it will be fine when she comes, and if it still doesn't feel like the right thing I know formula is not the end of the world, and that we can still have a very close bond. Another fear though is that if for some reason I don't BF her I won't be as close to her as I was with my son. Lots of nervousness and fears here about having a daughter! Please help ease my thoughts
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Re: Feeling weird about nursing my daughter
Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!
The reason boys fixate on that part of a woman's anatomy is because of breastfeeding. Which girls also need. The fact that you can sexualize the act of feeding your kid just amazes me.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Yup.
Everything all the other posters said.
Additionally, are you worried about turning your daughter gay? You realize that isn't possible, right?
WTF.
For any baby, regardless of gender, your boobs are food and nothing else. It has absolutely nothing to do with a sexual act and if it did, why would it be normal for you to be a part of that act with your son? Your mind is in a strange place, OP.
This is my siggy. Love it.
I agree with this.
EDIT The reasoning behind what OP is saying is just so off.
So like, in your head your baby boy was all like "mmmm yeah gimmie those titties, put me in the football hold, you know how i like it. awwww yeahhh" And that was ok, because of penis.
maybe your husband can start preparing to lactate so your daughter can have the same healthy opposite sex experience as your son did. Cause that's what it is all about.
::grabs popcorn::
O_O
Avery - 8.2.07 | Asher - 5.12.10 | Audrey - 11.28.12
This.
Although I wonder if this is MUD? Because this is a weird post.
I found a place to use this.
On a more serious note, OP, you really really need a closer look at how you see things, and work on resolving the issues that have led you to even come up with these thoughts to begin with.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I was just thinking there is no way this can be real...
I'm at a loss for words right now. And that doesn't happen often.
If this is a real post, I would encourage you to seek some therapy ASAP.
Definitely MUD
But I loved reading Anna's response - so funny!
This has to be MUD. There's no way someone who BFed for 21 months would feel this way.
Unlike PPs, I'm not going to attack you and say you're a sicko and that your thoughts are effed up.
Being raised in this hyper-sexualized society, it's very difficult to draw the line in your head when it comes to sex boobies vs. food boobies. Our sick society tells us that boobies are for one thing: sex. How can you not sexualize them? Fighting that mindset, when you are bombarded with it everyday, is very difficult.
I've had the same sexualized thoughts as you exactly twice. And I immediately realized they were ridiculous and put them out of my head.
I don't think you're effed up OP, or that your thoughts are necessarily effed up. I think you're a victim of our sexualized society. But, I think if you're fixated on these thoughts (which it seems you are) then you need to get some help. Everyone has effed up thoughts here and there and most people put them out of their heads and don't think of them again. If this is continuing to pop into your head, that's a problem.
Oh hell no. So dead. *wipes away tears* Please let me virtually hump your leg.
I agree with your sentiment that our society has a difficult time differentiating between breasts as a food source vs breasts for sexual pleasure. If she was a first time mom to be and said that she was feeling weird about the whole concept of nursing because she felt she would have a difficult time desexualizing her breasts, I wouldn't have batted an eye. Where it got into the weird, effed up part is finding it acceptable with her male child because he was supposed to like breasts.
.... Womens breasts are made to feed their children.
I want to say this as nice as possible, but there might be another issue as to why you're uncomfortable with the differences in genders.
I can see how it would be like an "Oh, yeah. Itll be a girl now- hmm." moment, but to go as far as youre going, I think youre over thinking it. Babies dont act like boys or girls- they just act like babies.
As someone who has to formula feed- It does mess with your bond. I want to bed share. I cant... because of formula feeding. I have to choose freaking factory-made formula instead of a perfected milk thats way better for my son. Anytime anyone asked me if I was nursing or not, I would try to explain how we tried, and in that 3 words I was in tears every time. It killed me. I wanted to so bad.
I think imagining a deep bond like that with a girl might be hard since youre so used to a son, but to consider not BFing for that? Thats insane to me.
Ditto..I FF two babies and bedshared for over a year. It worked.
I agree with this. OP, please find someone you can talk to and get some help. Your child is not a sexual partner.
I didn't say what I said to be mean, I think it's weird that she thinks it's ok to BF a boy because boys like boobs. That is her sexualizing the act of breastfeeding her baby, and it makes me think there is something not right in her head. If this is true, not MUD, I really think she should get help sorting out those mixed feelings. It's not meant to shame her or taunt her, it's meant to help her.
FWIW I have never once felt awkward or had any remotely sexual thoughts about breastfeeding. Babies are NOT sexual creatures who "like boobies cause they are boys". The fact that she thinks this genuinely concerns me.
I wasn't singling out any commenter. That being said, some of the comments on here are just cringe-inducing.
On a public message board people will respond in all sorts of ways and a post like this, which I'm still not convinced is real, is going to bring out less serious responses.
But I think a majority of the responses weren't intended to be mean.
Hang on... Boobs are only sexual in 13 countries. So what you're saying is that in all the other countries breasts aren't an erogenous zone?
Well breasts aren't an erogenous zone at all for me. I have never found touching/kissing/whatever in that area stimulating. I realize for some women it is, but I don't think it's true for all women anywhere.
I have no idea where that statistic came from - seems kind of random? But I think the point is that in some parts of the world, breasts aren't seen as a sexual area, and women go topless all day and no one cares. Similar to how a foot isn't a sexual area, but some people find it stimulating to suck on toes.
I'm appalled by some of the comments you've been getting, so I thought I'd chime in just to let you know that women have all sorts of weird fears about breastfeeding, and I don't think you should feel bad about expressing yours.
It doesn't sound to me like you're sexualizing breastfeeding, as some others have suggested. For you, it just feels more natural with a boy. To me that's no different than me feeling relieved I was having a boy, because I felt like I knew how to raise a boy better than a girl. It's just a feeling, even if there's no real reason behind it.
And just like I'm sure I could raise a girl as well as a boy despite my unfounded concern, I'm sure you'll do great at breastfeeding a girl, despite your fears about it.
I have a feeling in the afterglow of birth, when you get to hold your precious daughter, breastfeeding will come as naturally as it did with your son and these concerns will all mean nothing.
In the meantime, stop psyching yourself out about it. The less you stress about it now, the more likely you are to have a good experience later on.