Hi Ladies! I hope you are all doing well. Sorry I haven't been around much.
DH and I are having the inevitable battle that I knew would happen... when will we tell friends and the extended family.
Our parents and siblings already know along with my few best friends...which he resents me for because I won't let him tell his friends yet (they will not keep a secret) I am telling my grandma this friday because it's her birthday and I thought good timing...although i'm still super nervous i'm not at 12weeks yet. I told him he could tell his friends at 12 weeks but he keeps insisting that he should tell them sooner because they know about our loss and god forbid we had another loss, he would be too heartbroken not to tell everyone which i agree with BUT something is still stopping me.
So...just wondering what you all think & when you broke the news or when you will be breaking the news.
Re: When did you/are you telling?
We have any ultrasound next Tuesday and I'll be 12 weeks so I think we'll start telling people after that. Right now just a few close friends and my sister know.
We're not ones for cutesy announcements so we'll probably just blurt it out.
Our parents/siblings already know. His mother (I have now learned) cannot keep a secret and has told her mother and her siblings, so it's out on his side. Since it is, I'm telling my extended family next weekend (family reunion). I'll be 11 weeks. Even though I wanted to wait until 13 that's not going to happen. Friends and work I won't tell until at least 13 or even later for work (if I can hide it).
We've got a total mums the word policy until Friday when we should (fingers crossed!) hear the baby's heartbeat (finally!). So that'll be a day after 12 weeks. I just need that piece of mind before I jump into the craziness.
We've agreed I can tell my late husband's mother first, just felt important to do it that way. Then we'll both call our parents/family and then Facebook (so everyone else).
I totally understand where you're at, hun, but I think it saves a lot of arguments to do an all or nothing as you're finding out. If you've already told yours maybe he could tell a few really close friends? If something did happen, it'd be better for him to have other people to express that to so he can be there for you. Just IMO.
We told each of our immediate families, as well as one friend each. We will tell other friends around 12 weeks and then I will post on Facebook probably between 12-14 weeks.
You have to feel comfortable with who you are telling and who you would feel comfortable knowing if something unfortunate happened. It's a hard decision!
I wouldn't tell anybody until you are ready for everyone to know, because someone Might slip up and tell someone else. For us, that was at 7 weeks. We knew that our families wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut, so we were prepared for everyone to know at that point.
we told immediate family after our 8 week appointment when we saw the heartbeat. I told 3 good friends the week after, and DH told one good friend yesterday.
We had our 11 week check up last week, and heard the HB. Everything looks ok (knock on wood), so I think this weekend we might give family the go-ahead to start spreading the news (large extended family), and tell friends as we see them. I don't think we will do a FB announcement, but we will not hide it on there either.
I was always of the opinion "don't tell who you can't handle re-telling if something goes wrong", but i've read once you hear/see the abaies HB and are around 12 weeks, your odds of a m/c are the same as they will be at 20 weeks or 30 weeks.
We told both of our parents and siblings around 4.5 weeks (because of complications and an ER visit). We would have waited until our 6.5 week appt to tell them. I have told a few close friends over the weeks since and then after our 10 week appointment we told everyone! Both babies had good heartbeats and were growing well, so we decided we were close enough. It's completely up to you!
I had a friend that told everyone (and facebook) the day she took a positive pregnancy test and that was at 4 weeks! Different strokes for different folks!
Due to needing to see an RE to get pregnant most of our immediate families knew we were in the tww. Our immediate families knew once we did (well a few days later). Then at our 6 week ultrasound and we learned there were two they knew that. By our 8 week ultrasound extended family were texting us and calling asking as they had heard it from a little birdy.. we decided to let the news loose. I was hoping to wait until the 12 week mark but I figured I would rather us control the news than have the calls of why didn't you tell me, I had to hear it from such and such. I really didn't want to say well such and such has a big mouth and was told not tell etc. So for us it was just easier to let it out. We did not release it on facebook until a couple of days ago and only did that due to a completely unintentional slip on my part
I think to each their own. Some people would rather let it out there way early and hope for the best crossing bridges as they get there and well others like to keep it private for a longer period of time or for the entire pregnancy only celebrating with those closest to you. I honestly think this is a decision that you and you alone can make with what you are comfortable with.
06/12 - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 15dpo - 256
Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
EDD 02/21/13
09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks.
We told immediate family around 6 weeks. Most of our friends found out when DH went on a boys' trip (he was definitely over-served) , so all of his friends and the entire town of Nashville knew around 9 weeks...at least he was excited right?!
I have the NT scan tomorrow and a doctor's appointment on Monday. My OB said they would have the results by next Monday, so that's when we'll make the big announcement for extended family and Facebook.
My parenrs know (and have known since day 1), my yoga & spin instructor know, work now knows (*was hoping I could keep it a while longer but ny supervisor found out and I told my officemate and a colleague asked this morning - darn getting chubby/having better skin ppl are noticing and there's no bump!).
We'll start telling family (IL, aunts/uncles, cousins, siblings) and close friends after our ultrasound at 12 weeks. Everyone else will find out on a as needed basis.
My super all about me birth story:
Then: Fraternal twins born at 26 weeks in 1983. Me: 640 grams. Brother: 840 grams. Family kept watch in the NICU for 5 months before being allowed to go home. On oxygen for a year and a half after being released.
Now: Me: PhD student and married. Brother: Lawyer and married.
Dad's wedding speech: Thank you to all the family who stood watch and prayed for our children's survival. Well now the little scrawny chicken is married. Who would've thought? (Thanks dad for making me laugh and cry at the same time).
My BFP Chart
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Lots of love TBBFF lobosabby!! Always rooting for the TTGP girls
My Chart
My parents and DH's parents we told around five weeks. I told my BFF at 6 weeks. DH told a couple of his close friends around seven weeks, and his grandma and an aunt and uncle at eight weeks. I've told a few of my other friends on kind of a need to know basis (really just a couple of running buddies, we were planning to start training for a marathon).
My plans were to go public on my blog this coming Monday, but now I'm not sure if I'm ready. I have a few more closer friends I'll tell at 10 weeks, and then somewhere between then and 12 weeks I'll probably go more public.
my blog :: the domestic wannabe
My plan is to tell our parents somewhere between 15-16 weeks when I get back from a business trip (I'm going with my DH). I suppose we'll tell a few friends then too. I have a cousin and two friends who already know because she blabbed.
Once I tell my parents, it's over. Everyone will know. My father will tell my sister and she will tell the entire universe. She has no filter and cannot keep anything to herself. She thought I should have children years ago (she got married in 11th grade, first kid at 19) and will want to tell everyone all about it.
Missed m/c found @ 10 weeks - May 2010
Missed m/c found @ 10.5 weeks - August 2012
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